Beatrice Goes Hollywood

Beatrice Goes Hollywood. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

Beatrice Goes Hollywood. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

Do I look stunning or did Totsy do a whack job on me? Today people, you can call me Holly Wood. That’s right, I’m all about the fabulosity and I just had the driver, cab that is, drop me off at the hotel, as I’m going to The Oscars. Have you ever been? I didn’t think so. However, I’m not here to boast…much. You see, I’m trying to talk Totsy into writing me into one of her novels. Well, not write me in so much as make me the star, okay?

I have this idea that it should be a romantic comedy with a twist of mystery, set right here in Hollywood. As you well, know, I’m all about getting the Hollywood scoop to you. And what do I have for you today?

Well, you know Kim Kardashian and Kanye are pregnant. They’re looking at buying a 15,000 square foot home. So they can’t find the baby, I suppose. There’s serious talk about The Bradgelinas getting married. Don’t believe the hype, people. While this event may or may not happen, I find it really interesting that a date was set after Jennifer Aniston became engaged. Angelina is more than a notion, don’t you think? Don’t ask me what Paris Hilton is up to. She’s disappeared into the yonders, as that country Totsy would say.

Anyway. The big scoop today is the scoop Oprah got on Lance Armstrong for enhancement drugs while riding his bicycle. Well, Lance is a proud man and baffled even the queen bee, but no worries there, the IRS wants their five million dollars from Lance and the IRS on your A.S.S. will break anybody down. You see, Lance was dating Sheryl Crow some years ago and when she had that scare with breast cancer, he flew off like a care-free bird, never to come back to be a support to her but well, Lance, I hope you have all the support you weren’t willing to give. Me being a Godly woman, despite my gossiping, I wouldn’t want anything else for you.

You see, once Totsy turns me into a Hollywood star by writing me into her book, I may be tempted to cheat the government too. They want more than their fair share and well, just say I’m looking out for my future deep pockets. You feel me?

I must cut this session short today, people. I’m sitting here dressed to the nines, expecting room service and forgot I was checked into the Motel 6.