Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae
I wanted to see what all the fuss was on the TSA folks, so I took a little trip. Well, that ain’t all the reason for the trip ’cause there was no Denzel-like figure to frisk me up. Matter of fact, nothing frisky went on at all and I’m a tad disappointed, folks. All that research didn’t cough up nothing more than me walking a cold floor in my bare feet. Oh, my Mary Kay samples for exfoliating were taken. Folks can want the darnest thing from you, can’t they?
Now this ain’t got nothing to do with nothing but I just had to let you know that I washed my face with some of that Caress soap and it’s got my face feeling so good. And maybe it does have to do with something ’cause to sit on your bottom for sixteen straight hours of being suspended in the air is enough to make me appreciate the joy of soap and water. I never took it so seriously before but I’m feeling real smooth and refreshed. You really don’t have to go out and buy all that fancy and priced up stuff to keep yourself younger, folks. Just go out and buy yourself some Caress soap. I can now say that some companies acutally live up to their commercials.
My concern is my backside. You know, sitting on it for so long and the future consequences of that ain’t good for women folk especially. Always nice to have a little padding back yonder. Sitting on it all those straight hours like I did is like using a flat iron to your hair. I used to be right proud of what was going on back there but I’m about to hold court with that bitch now. Like, just sit the ass in the witness chair and have at it: Where the hell you take off to on the night Totsy went to the comedy show? Ass, where were you when she tried on that dress she thought she was gonna look so fine in and had to put it back on the rack? So, you mean to tell me you just stopped showing up on your own cognizance?
I’ve seen some men folk with asses that make me do a double-take. Oh, I get to hatin’ on them too. What gets me though is big assed men don’t quite get when to stop pulling their pants up. Why the belt line gotta be damn near under their arm pits? What’s up with that? And if you think it’s a pitiful sight to see them from the back, you must’ve missed the front. Ooooh folks, I’m just gonna spare you the details and let you use your imagination on that! Lord. Help. Me!
Sorry, I veered off again and lost my train of thought. Let me catch my bearings here and once I’ve kinda settled in and wrapped my head around this here town, we can keep company like we been doing. I ain’t quite all of myself now being here, so I’ve got some figuring to do. (Hmmm…why those folk on that TV talking so funny?)
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Posted in Everyday Shit, tagged airport security, denzel, hawthorne, marc anthony, obgyn, passengers, pat-down, single women, tsa on July 19, 2011 |
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Folks, I was watching Hoda and Kathy Lee on that morning show yesterday and I got a little perturbed. I usually take what those women say on there with a grain of salt but I’m telling you, I didn’t like the sounds of what was said on those TSA workers. It wasn’t so much about what they were saying as it was the person who was getting searched getting bent all out of shape. I can’t begin to tell you how bad of a rap those workers are getting. It’s gotta be a stressful job, trying to save folk from terrorists who don’t wanna be saved no more. I mean, really!
I was sitting up here in my little chair pondering this here thing ‘cause when that day comes for me to get up from here to shake and move this here earth, I’m gonna have to board a plane to head my ass some damn where. That’s part of the territory for folk doing things, ain’t it?
Well, my concern is that I’m not being patted up and down before I board that plane and I think I’ve come to the conclusion of where the real problem lies. I haven’t heard a man yet, make a complaint. Least, he ain’t made the evening news about it. It’s these women folk, doing what comes natural for them, I suspect. From where I stand, there’s a real simple solution to this problem with these TSA workers. They need to hire some cuter folk to do these shakedowns and most importantly, ask the passenger if they prefer a man or woman to feel them up. That way, heterosexuals and homosexuals will be happy.
I mean, if that cute fella Jada married on Hawthorne patted me down and went in my panties to find whatever he was looking for, who am I to raise cane over that? Marc Anthony was never so hot looking to me until he started playing a tough, mouthy cop on that show. That shit turns me on. I’d be okay with him at least patting my ass and squeezing a tit to make sure I had no ill intentions toward my fellow passengers. And Lord help me if Denzel took to wearing one of them TSA uniforms. I’d be a bit peeved if I couldn’t have a private room for him to shake me the hell down. Shit, I’ll take a custodian’s closet even, just give us some privacy.
Seriously, we can’t have it the way we want it all the damn time, folks. It’s America, not friggin’ Burger King. I don’t see these pat-downs no more invasive than visiting my OBGYN for my yearly paps. TSA’s trying to save lives just like the OBGYN. I don’t know why these women folk haven’t made this obvious connection. I’m a little disappointed but not altogether surprised, if you really wanna know the truth. But I’m not here to turn a mirror on other folk per se. I just want folk to take all things into consideration. You know, don’t mess up the game for single women folk or even them unhappily married ones who may require a good pat-down from time to time.
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