“Touch” Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae/www.toshfomby.com
I never told you this story. I forgot about it ’til just now. You see, I, folks, have had a small fan base in my little lifetime for unfounded reasons. With that, unfortunately, comes stalkers. At least, I feel like she was skirting that path. But I’m here to tell you from the get-go, I was innocent. My hands never had any remnants of his hair.
Who is he? Well, it’s the fella I worked with and the stalker was his wife. Now, you know me, or maybe you don’t, but I was working that job real good, okay? Truly, I was minding my own business, folks. In the midst of all that working and minding my business, I was, you know, working IT, or at least the wife thought I was. I was just being my own damn self. That’s all I know, right?
Well, Wifey worked on the job with the husband. In a different area but I do declare folks, I thought that changed with her always peeping in and shit. I’d be doing my thing, my back to the door and next thing I know, there she was, like a damn phantom. I wouldn’t even hear her come in, I was working so hard (hehehe!). I’m telling you folks, she may as well had been wearing socks, she was so damn good at easing in that room on me. Could’ve wiped me clean out, you hear me! And you know folks, I’m real aloof at times. I never thought it strange that she spoke to everybody except me. I’m strange, so I’ve been told, so I figure us to be two strange folks, okay? Nothing special.
Any ole how, the other woman who worked with me and Her Husband, we’ll just call him that since that’s what her was, told me one day, “She ain’t coming in here to check on me. It’s you she’s looking at.” I didn’t pay that no nevermind ’cause I wasn’t interested in Her Husband. Besides, I had myself a little beau friend at the time, a half-assed one, mind you, but I thought I had it going on at the time. Plus, I got all indignant in my mind and got to thinking, How the hell is she gonna decide for me who I’m interested in? That I’d even choose Her Husband had I not been wrapped into Half-Assed Beau Friend. The goddamn nerve of her!
I’m trippin’, right? At another time, that same woman who told me Wifey was eyeballing me, added, “She never used to come in here like this before.” As time went on, Her Husband told me, “My wife was coming in the room because of you. She’s insecure and was cheated on by her first husband.” I was like, “Oh and she afraid you’d be wrapped into all this,” and I did a little sexy move. But truly, he wasn’t my type and in my way of thinking, I thought I couldn’t have possibly been his.
I thought of this story recently ’cause this other woman was eyeballing me earlier this month. We were standing in a small group and her husband was talking and naturally, everybody was looking at what he was saying. I mean shit, what else was I supposed to do? Everybody was looking except her, that is. You see, she had on these false lashes heavy with mascara. I felt something akin to a mosquito on my face and I be damn if that woman wasn’t looking at moi, folks. The bitch was bold too! I got to looking back but in a nice and respectful way, ’cause you know I’m a good southern woman, and that heifer kept looking at me as if to say, I’m watching you, bitch. It was awkward, I’m telling you. I told my sister about it ’cause I didn’t know this woman or her husband. She said, “Dodo (and I’m calling her that ’cause I’m tired of this shit!), was checking you out. She don’t play when it comes to her man. Did me the same way ’til she got used to me.” Like an old pair of socks I guess. But I ain’t trippin’.
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