Maybe, just maybe, the shit’s that’s happened to me happened so I could share with you. I have no use for some of these events in my life. Some? things have taught me absolutely nothing. I’ve been an innocent bystander in my own life at times but when shit wants to happen to you, it shall seek you out and happen simply ’cause that’s what shit does.
You see, back in the day, I was somewhat of a party animal. Not that I was the life of any party but I went to a few parties back in my day. I was the mix and mingle type in an aloof sorta way. I came by these little social outings on account of my boy cousin, who was a year ahead of me and was my watchdog. We went to clubs and all kindsa house parties and whatnot. Good thing I was a good girl ’cause I’d seen a fair amount of things that should’ve been hidden from my innocence. Fair to give myself credit for having a fair amount of sense to some extent.
Well. I was at this little party in a real country part of Georgia. I think it was Vidalia, that little town that’s famous for onions, of all the damn places. Well, there, I found myself at this little party with my watchdog. I was probably in high school.
Okay. There I was, pretty much hanging against the wall like a pair of curtains ’cause I was trying to get a feel for these countryer-than-me folk. Time was ticking like it does and I soon got to saying to myself, “Damn Totsy, you looking this cute and nobody’s asked you to dance.” Yeah, I could’ve gotten out there and done my thing solo ?’cause I could move this way and that back then but well, I wasn’t in my part of town. So, being the Southern Belle I was, I waited patiently to be asked to the dance floor. It never happened. At one point, I went in the bathroom to check myself out. You know, to see if anything was hanging from my nose or stuck between my teeth. Everything checked out real fine. I went back out and continued to hang on that wall like a set a dusty drapes. A dance for Totsy never happened, which was highly unusual for me. I was like, “Shit, I’m only 17 and losing my touch.”
Well, it came through the grapevine that this distant cousin of my cousin who came to be associated with my family by way of a step relative, had it circulated that I was his girlfriend. Hands off, was what he’d told all the fellas. I only found this out a month after the party. The silly part of the matter was, not even this fella who was claiming me asked me to dance on account of him being shy, and really, he was too old for me but had a young way about him. Probably was that way on account of being a weed smoker, which has -never been a turn-on for me anyhow.
I can’t tear up the dance floor like I used to but it’s nice imagining I could. Then again, maybe these things happen so I can have a chuckle to myself every now and then. Either that, or one of those I-just-be-damn moments.