Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘food’

A Big Apple Head, I Am

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2012 | 33 Comments »

Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

I’m in a little jam, folks. I really, really am. You know, I kinda enjoy myself a good meal and I have to tell you, even though I have a pretty strict diet for health’s sake, I was able to enjoy food, all fresh that is, in the U.S.

Folks, being over here in the middle of the east, I’m so sick and tired of broccoli and lettuce,  I could absolutely choke myself than take another bite. I mean, shit! There are only so many ways I know how to whip it up.  To be honest, I almost hate food at this point. I hate when I get hungry, ’cause that means eating pretty much the same thing I had the last few days. It wasn’t so bad eating all natural when I had more choices but hell, I ain’t that creative in the kitchen and while I’ve been trying to work with what I’ve got, I ain’t got all that much to work with. I know I told you I wouldn’t moan and groan but actually, I started this post on Saturday, when I was moaning and groaning, and I need y’all to hear me out on account of me not having anything else to say right now. Okay?

Well, Friday, I ate apples, alright? All. Damn. Day! Oh, it was okay the first two or three times but it seemed like after the fourth and fifth, my stomach said something like, “Oh bitch, hell naw! You have got to be kidding me.” But I wasn’t.

I’m telling you, I’ve lost my enthusiasm to eat and a lot of times, I avoid it by drinking water. I went to the store Saturday and guess what? My ass bought more apples. Only this time, they’re the yellow ones. You see, I change up the colors to psyche myself into thinking I’ve got a lot more variety than what reality tells me. I tried to cook some fish but that turned out like shit. Twice. Two different types of fish, mind you. Suffice it to say, I won’t be cooking fish while I’m over here.

On a good note, I’m eating healthy. But that I’m disinterested in eating is a real trip ’cause you couldn’t make me believe it if I saw it in a crystal ball myself. Also, I have to work out whether I’m getting all of what I need to, you know, remain intact ’cause the folk here don’t eat all that well. Dressed under all this stuff, folk tend to let themselves go and and I mean GO! The food labels are so tiny, you need a damn magnifying glass to read the ingredients and I’ll be the first to tell you, that don’t work too well when your face is covered up. It’s an absolute bitch, really.

Anyhow, between me not being a culinary expert, my limited choices and diet, I’m very limited with fresh food choices in the desert. I’m wondering what’s gonna become of me, folks. Seriously. I mean, how many apples can I keep eating on a daily basis? I miss sweet potato souffle, squash, green beans and the like. You know, good ole southern cooking on the healthy side. I don’t even see brown sugar over there. Oh Lord Lord, woe is me! (Now banging my big head on the dressing table)

About these ads

Read Full Post »

Holla Back

Posted in The Yin & Yang of It, tagged , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2012 | 25 Comments »

I’m having the darnest time uploading pictures lately. Not all too happy about that really but anyway…

And maybe it’s all for the best. I was trying to upload pictures of this not so slammin’ meal I cooked yesterday. The salad wasn’t all bad, to be honest. I mean, it wouldn’t win a photo contest or nothing but I quite enjoyed myself. It’s the fish that would’ve thrown you off. I’ve heard of blackened salmon but is there such a thing as blackened fish? Whiting, that is.  ‘Now, in my mind I’m thinking, all these so-called foodies out there don’t get it right the first, second or third time either. That would definitely be me.

Anyway, just to give you random tidbits, my internet, I kid you not, is slower than dial-up. Don’t even ask why or how long it’ll be that way. Don’t you just hate folk asking you questions and whatnot when you’re frustrated? Beatrice from Apartment 7B won’t be none too happy about this picture upload issue. Just know that I’ll explain the deal later. I have a lot to share with you good folks actually but all in due time. As it is, I’m making do with what I have, which means I’m grinning and bearing it, pretty much.

On a much different note, I was talking to this young woman and she was giving me the brevity of this little relationship she was in with this fella. Now, when I saw the fella and thought of her, I thought she was just a little something to do. Know what I mean? There are times the strangest of thoughts can run across folks mind and I know ’cause I’m a folk. Well, this last fella I saw I got to thinking on him one time ’cause from the way he talked, he’d seen a fair amount of women folk and my thought was, ‘His ole recycled ass.’ You know, just somebody going in and outta this and that hole. He just started looking nasty to me.

So when this little chick told me about this fella she was seeing, who she now says, “I don’t know what we are now,” I got to thinking about the song in the video below. Now, Beatrice from Apartment 7B is a staunch feminist. She’d have some shit to say to that young woman I, a part-time genteel southern woman like myself, would never say. (wink, wink)

Read Full Post »

It’s As Simple As That

Posted in Woman in the Mirror, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 28, 2012 | 43 Comments »

"Lonely Sometimes" Acrylic on Board. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

A few years ago, I had a good friend of mine to run into some money problems. Now, I’m not a one percenter or nobody along those lines but I was in a position to help, so that’s what I did. Never did I put him under the gun for paying the money back. The thing of it for me was and still is, if I absolutely need it back, then most likely, you won’t get shit from me. I would try to help you in some other manner but point blank, if what you want squeezes my pocketbook, then you’ll have to find another source. I don’t want money issues to settle between what we’ve got going. You feel me?

Now, if I say to Kim, “Look, I’ve got these ingredients for you to make me these chocolate chip cookies,”  or asked The Obamacrat to cook me up a healthful meal and got my mouth all watered for the goods and they didn’t come through, folks, that may be the deal breaker there. Oh, I’m serious about my edibles and whatnots, okay?

Now, should I help you out, ’cause I’d like to think I would, I won’t hold it over your head. That ain’t the way of going about doing nothing for nobody. My thing is, I’ll get what I gave from some other folk. That’s pretty much the law of giving when you think about it. You know, Karma can be a real good friend when you treat her right. Now, there will be times when Karma will have you asking, what the fuck, unfortunately. However, I’d certainly like to think I’ve put out some good Karma and not on account of me wanting something back but ’cause you know, it’s a good thing to do.

There’s this other lesson in giving I learned and sometimes have to keep reminding myself. It came from this fella who was over in Vietnam way back. What he said is that he saw so much over there and how folk were living and all, which taught him to complain about nothing. And he didn’t either. I mean, you read about that sorta thing but for some reason, about three years ago, that became a lot more profound for me. Well, I could tell you the reason but I won’t. We’ll just leave it at that. No need to put you all up and inside of my business since we’re still learning each other, you know. (Rolling my eyes and clicking my tongue)

Anyway, I know whenever I’ve bitched about favors I’ve done for folk, I always feel I may as well hadn’t done it at all if I have to go stomping my feet about it. It really takes the joy and blessing out of giving, however convenient or inconvenient the giving may be. Grace is such a small word but it’s a huge deal if you have it and more often than not, folk recognize it. At least, I do.

(Sigh) I just thought I’d share that with you good folk. You know, to keep you on the up and up or something like that. I don’t know. Maybe it’s these raw foods and banana chips that’s got me musing and shit. I kid you not, they’re actually starting to taste like Vanilla Wafers.

Read Full Post »

What Happens by Default

Posted in Everyday Shit, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2012 | 23 Comments »

Streams of Light in Blogosphere!

If you spread light, it’ll shine back your way. Join every Thursday and say it with words, pictures, videos, etc. Click here to learn all about it.

“In my day, we didn’t have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned.”

Jane Haddam

Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

So, what happens by default?

  • If you’re Oprah’s best friend, you get to host a TV show AND have a radio program.  I don’t know about y’all but I think Gayle should have a back-up or two. I’m probably over-qualified actually but the key is to make yourself available to prime opportunities. I still wanna fill out that BFF application, Opes.
  • Say, like, if your name’s North Korea and you’re investing all your money in nuclear weapons without supplying folks basics, such as food, at some point down the road, folk gonna get hungry. You’re then gonna need help from all the folk you’ve been trying to bully. It’s real unfortunate but that’s how life is, ain’t it, dumb ass?
  • If you’re the kind of folk who’s holding one hand out and the other’s behind your back balled into a fist when somebody asks you for something, Karma’s gonna be your worst kinda friend.  You’re gonna hate to see her coming but coming, she is and she’s gonna keep biting you in the ass ’til you get that life don’t revolve around you.

And this is your streaming light for the day, folks. Don’t say I never gave you nothing. (wink wink)

Read Full Post »

Excerpt from “Selma Wrapped in Blue”

Posted in Totsy's Sweets, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2012 | 35 Comments »

“The greatest wealth is health.” Virgil

Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

As a participant in Occupy Blogosphere to share/shed positive light, I bring you a short story excerpt from my collection-in-progress.

“You just can’t throw out good food, Kiya.” Selma followed her daughter from the fridge to the garbage can, watching her hard-earned dollars from the insurance company, where she put up with more than her share of shit, get dumped by this child who grew up on cow meat and fatback in her collards. Now, it was all about wheat grass, tofu and that other imitation food that was shaking in her love-and-peace-to-the-green world.

“Look, Jonas and I will move you to our place, if that’s what it takes to get you on board with eating healthy, Ma. Okay? I had a real good sense something wasn’t right yesterday. I just felt it.” Kiya sucked her breath in hard and her little nose ring jiggled , making the diamond stud more apparent when her nostrils flared up. Child had her daddy’s nose for sure but she was so pretty, it looked far better on her. Selma always had thought it looked so big and out of place on Clayton’s face. Maybe it was that he was a light-colored man and she thought nature should have shaped it thinner.

“That there rice could at least be put to good use down at the shelter.” Selma went to grabbing at the bag but Kiya moved in one swift motion to keep Selma out of arm’s reach. She dug her nails into the plastic and poured the little white grains in the garbage, shaking her head, tsking  and exhaling in a way that made Selma feel child-like.

“This is an enriched product and we won’t be contributing to a false sense of healthy eating to anybody with these fake foods.” Kiya let the bag fall from her fingers and went back to the cabinet she had been raiding.

“Wait just a damn minute. You’ve gone too far-.”

“No, Mother Dear, you have.” She tossed out all of the canned goods and seemed  satisfied at seeing packages of dried beans, two boxes of organic raisins and a roll of plastic wrap in the near empty space. “And you know what? I wouldn’t mind you coming to stay with Jonas, the kids and me. Having children around keeps you young.” She started for the pantry.

“Like hell, they do.”

To read the beginning of  “Selma Wrapped in Blue,” visit the Excerpts link.

~~~~oooooOooooo~~~

To learn more about foods for cardiovascular health, read 25 Heart-Healthy Foods. Another great read is Dr. Norman Walker’s Fresh Vegetables and Fruit Juices. This book is also packed with various cures for what ails you.

Read Full Post »

Queen of Southern Drama

Posted in Hot Off the Press, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 3, 2012 | 49 Comments »

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”    Ethel Barrymore

"Not On My Good Rug" Mixed Media on Canvas/Paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

Just like I thought. Watching the Nightly News with Brian Williams last night and guess what the talk is on the food circuit. Sugar is being looked at by scientists as a drug, like alcohol and tobacco. It’s even been suggested to put an extra tax on sugar, like tobacco. That it’s killing folk! Now, I already knew sugar was a drug on account that that Dixie Crystal stuff ain’t how sugar looks in its natural form. Granted, I eat brown sugar but guess what I do sometimes…Should I come out the closet with yet another bone?…(sigh) I pinch the sugar and eat it solo. Aww, stop it! It’s just a pinch or two and I don’t do it everyday. I can quit anytime I want.

(Pacing and marinating on a thought or two) I just don’t want it to go bad. Shit, food’s high nowadays. Waste not, want not, right? And what you expect from me? I gave up the cookies and brownies. Been five whole days of sobriety! I don’t even sweeten my tea. I’ve learned to crave the taste of bitter (Liar!)

(Sigh, as I put the back of my hand to my forehead, suddenly becoming faint and fall strategically on the sofa). Whatever’s a Southern Belle to do without her sugah? (The harmonicas commence to playing in the background for dramatic effect.)

Read Full Post »

What I Know I’d NEVER Do

Posted in Everyday Shit, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2012 | 27 Comments »

"The Greenroom" Watercolor & Ink on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

  • Have an eating disorder as Bulimia/Anoxeria – I guess I don’t get it. I suppose my biggest problem right now is stealing cookies and brownies outta my own kitchen. I savored the taste too much to regurgitate them. Folk will always wanna tell you, “Never say never,” but I beg the differ on that, folks. Trust me, food is my friend. Not my BFF or nothing but I know what I know about me. It ain’t coming out of the end it went into.
  • Die on a sinking ship – Not only can I not swim but I ain’t got the gumption to go on nobody’s cruise ship without my own private helicopter I can radio in to come and save me. I’m working on trying to figure out how to buy my own plane, so I doubt I would be sailing any seas or oceans anyhow.
  • Be a participant on The Bachelorette – I mean, that’s just silly to think folk actually fall in love with each other on some TV show. Give me a break! If they want me to pretend, I can do that. Like, I thought I was all in love this one time but after  a two-week lapse, I changed my mind. And damn if I’m gonna be crying and carrying on ’cause I didn’t get chosen for the final hook up. Ain’t no way my family would let me live that kinda foolishness down.
  • Be a poster child for a Wanted sign in the post office – I’m telling you, folks, now I have thought of robbing a bank like those girls did in Set It Off  but I haven’t rounded up a good enough posse in my mind to make the heist. Therefore, I’m gonna have to keep a piece of a job. Plus, I’m claustrophobic and vain. Should I get caught, I can’t be walking around in no tight space and everywhere I turn, a bitch got on the same outfit as me. Uh uh. I ain’t having it.
  • Be a panelist of The Maury Povich Show – Now, that’s foolishness if I’ve ever seen it. Testing four and five men’s DNA to identify the father? Now, why would anybody go on TV for that?
  • Be a contestant in a hot dog eating contest – Like, I just don’t have that kinda stamina. Yes, I kinda have it in my mind that I can do a lotta things but I’ve got my limits and know that’s not my gifted area. And did you know hot dogs and sausage-like products cause stomach cancer? Not preaching or nothing but I don’t mind passing on information to make folk aware of matters, especially in regards to health.

Read Full Post »

I Ate the Cookie

Posted in Everyday Shit, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 31, 2012 | 49 Comments »

Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

And then I ate another and one more after that. Until I graduated to a taste here and there of a pan of brownies that I’m real sure ended up being a whole one by the time I was done. It’s not about weight that I shouldn’t be doing this closet eating but well, I shouldn’t be eating that stuff at all. I’m telling you, if this is what it’s like to come off drugs, I can see why it would be a bitch to kick. I want the damn cookies and brownies sometimes but like drugs, it’s not even good for me in moderation right now. I’m telling you folks, I need to be sitting in group therapy. I’ve already had family intervention. But. Like. Well. Why they keep bringing shit to the house without so much as letting me have a taste of it or bring me a healthy version of what they’re eating? So what do I do? I wait ’til nobody’s around to admonish me. They can’t be walking around in my house treating me like a child. Hell, they’re my children.

Little Totsy and Miss Fiancee had been baking cookies and brownies from scratch, which I’d been heavily funding, and finally, I had to know how the finished product tasted. As if I’d never bitten into a damn chocolate chip cookie before. But you better well know that I was on it, dog gone it, back in the day (last year). Every time Mr Boy went off to the store, I’d ensure Little Totsy and Miss Fiancee were well stocked in what they needed for baking. You know how it is. It would give them something constructive to do. I wasn’t counting on falling victim to the aroma wafting from the oven. I’d been so strong for a good while. Now guess what they’ve got sitting in the freezer? Some damn ice cream. A big tub of it too!

And yes, I am a victim. That’s what was projected in the Super Size Me movie. I’m even more of one than the folk in that movie. Well, I bought the ice cream but I didn’t know I bought it until it ended up in the freezer. Oh hell yeah, I ate some brownies and scooped some vanilla ice cream on top. The shit was good too! How many times I did it? I think three times but I’d be safe to say five…Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Matter of fact, if anybody’s got a problem staying away from certain foods, it ain’t your fault. Uh uh. You can point the finger at your parents for even starting the bad food habit. I wouldn’t be in the mode of eating stuff that’s bad for me if I’d never been introduced and reintroduced to it over and over again by the folk in charge of me. I mean, I was an unsuspecting child left to the vices of adults, while trying to figure out 2 + 2.  And yeah, I worked out the problem fine but nobody ever said brownie + ice cream x 30 days = fat ass or high cholesterol or high blood pressure or diabetes or shit, in my case, up all night.

So folks, I know some of you may disagree with me but I’ve decided to take my mother to court. That’s right. My lawyer’s gathering all the evidence against her now and we’ll be serving my step-dad up too ’cause he was a manager at the damn grocery store and did occasionally hook me up with damage-packaged products the store wouldn’t sell. Oh, I don’t give a damn if it was washing powders and Comet, he’s getting served with these papers. In a lawyer-chasing-ambulance society, why should I take responsibility for anything? Matter of fact, I have a separate case pending for folk who’ve made me sick. Figuratively speaking, that is.

Think about it. Who can you think of to bring to justice?

Read Full Post »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,550 other followers