Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘employment’

Co-Worker: One who works with another for paid compensation

Expanded Definition

2) a sloth who watches others work; nonproductive being who always has change for vending machine; drags feet when walking; one with special ass-sitting skills

3) an individual always on the lookout for free shit; shameless in taking office party leftovers home for family meals

4) a male or female who sleeps with boss or others for self-indulgent purposes; skillful in locating discrete hideouts to screw on job; say they are prone to cold sores but everyone knows the real deal

5) one who has an affinity for licking ass; has foul breath but never accepts breath mints when kindly offered

"Sailor Man" Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

6) a person who acquires position through family connections with little or no skills and always engaged in office politics

7) a man or woman whom you enjoy seeing the back of at the end of each work day

8) a skinny heifer who believes her smallness allows her to wear anything but has flat ass, knobby knees, curved spine or very pale skin and frequently wears mini skirts

9) a new, arrogant son of a bitch who knows nothing about job and placed as manager; talks masterfully about topics nobody cares about and tells dry jokes that insecure people laugh at; usually a Caucasian or African American male who has Ivy League education

10) one who enjoys the office more than their dysfunctional home and sits for meaningless conversation after hours rather than go to therapy because they have prayed about their situation(s) with their pastor; typically an overweight African American female

11) a man and woman who complains to one another and will probably end up having bad, regrettable sex together

12) an incessant gossip who was raised in a dysfunctional home whose mission is to wreak havoc and spread misery but has great interpersonal skills

13) a bitch who appears to be perpetually on the rag and is having little or no sex because she sucks in bed

14) an all-around nice male or female whom you really like but wonder if he/she is happy because you sense an underlying sadness

15) a man or woman who seldom talks to other people in the workplace because it’s toxic; not well liked and often spoken badly of because he/she does not reveal personal business in a professional environment; often called bitch or bastard because she/he is professional and sticks to business

16) one who has no gumption to speak up; complains to people who have no power to change anything; typically not promotable and lacks motivation; will usually continue the behavior until retirement age and become a greeter at Wal Mart to stay active

17) a person who is overly eager to go to work due to a deficient social life; lives alone in a one bedroom apartment with a cat; has paid off burial insurance, which is stored in a lockbox at bank

18) a person, mostly female, who takes liberties stealing office supplies and sends children to public schools

"Sailor Man II" Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2012. Totsymae

19) a person who is territorial with space and objects within the workplace that do not belong to them; probably was forced by human resources to get direct deposit because their banking system was at a check cashing booth; typically a person who resides in a trailer park or housing project

20) a tight wad who maxes out at three dollars when funds are collected for others in crisis; usually a very skinny man or woman

21) a lonely soul who thinks her children are gorgeous when they are everything but; constantly nagging people to view latest photos and talking about them because husband sleeps around

22) a person you imagine you could put on a ski mask for and whip his or her ass in a dark alley

23) a person you keep befriending who constantly betrays your trust and undermines your good intentions; this type person is often called stupid; unaccustomed to good people and sings in the church choir

24) a person who is positive and everyone adores, with ability to make others laugh; has a routine of going outside for breaks and lunch to smoke weed and loves Gummy Bears; usually an African American male that everyone wants to sleep with, including other males

25) a woman who wears tight-fitted clothing and shows cleavage when a new male is hired: was perhaps a prostitute in former life; usually has long blonde hair or a homemade weave, a big booty and wears red/orange lipstick

26) somebody you’d never invite to your home because  he/she has openly discussed previous lawsuits; has extensive knowledge of legal system; typically, this is somebody named after an alcoholic beverage

27) one who initiates a coffee club; will have a blow-out with non-contributors; forms bitching circles to talk about the non-contributors; acts haughty with a cup of caffeine in hand and thinks they are better than smokers

About these ads

Read Full Post »

Okay. Here’s another real-life person. What I realize in painting up these folks, I’m portraying more personality than who they are/were physically. This new person looked very young for her 35 years, so that’s what I’m remembering here.

Other than that,  I realize I’ve been messing around with this Create Art Every Day concept and as you can plainly see, I haven’t exactly kept my word on that or NaNo. I’m too deliberate. To a fault, I must say. So, the first step to recovery is admission. I really thought I could swing it ’cause about five years ago, I consciously created 60 pieces in 30 days. But I have to say, I was also teaching myself watercolor and dabbling around. I have to make this right some kinda way but —Hold on folks, I hear my phone going off…

Mixed Media on paper. Coyright 2011 Totsymae

Ringa- damn ring! Ringa-damn ring! Ringa-

Totsy: (Rolling my eyes when I see Donna’s name on the Caller ID) Hello?

Donna Damitte (silent e): Hello, Ms. Totsy (fake cough, sniff, sniff, breathing heavy through the mouth. Another cough…breathing heavy again in my ear after all that acting and shit) I’m calling to let you know I won’t be at work tomorrow. I’ve come down with something all of a sudden and I just wanted to let you know early, so somebody can work for me.

Totsy: Oh, really now… So, you gonna take your ass to a doctor or keep smoking weed, drinking and acting like you can’t afford a co-pay?

Donna Damitte: I really am sick this time, Ms. Totsy. My husband took my temperature and it’s 101. I can’t seem to (cough, sneeze, sneeze bitch sneeze and keep lying!). Can’t seem to stop coughing or keep any food down. I’ve been throwing up and my bowels are loose. I’m sitting on the toilet as I speak.

Then I hear a car racing past and some man in the background say something like, “Come on, tell that bitch you ain’t coming and that’s that.”

Donna Damitte: (Go to coughing and throwing some whooping-like sound in there and  putting her hand down her throat to throw up in my goddamn ear!).

Totsy: (Go to thinking, ‘Now, if I had the power to reach through this damn phone, I’d strangle this bitch! Don’t nobody get majorly sick every other damn week.’ I clear my throat and tame the beast.) Look, Donna. I’m trying to expand my marketability in the workplace. You know, move up the little ladder here and basically be the shit who knows the shit. Tell me, and I’m coming to you ’cause you’re so talented and all, but how do I transition into being a dumb ass? Can you help me with that? (Smiling as I wait for this new information that will change the course of my life.)

Donna Damitte: Why, what do you mean, Ms. Totsy? I really am sick. It feels like I’m gonna die right here on this toilet. (Another car zooms past.)

Totsy: Look Damitte, I ain’t referencing your sickness right now. I’m merely trying to make moves in certain circles. I feel so confident that you’re the one who could hip me on all the qualifications for being a dumb ass. I simply don’t think my current position is working for me as well as yours is for you.

Donna Damitte: (Go all quiet and shit. Stank lying ass ain’t flushed a toilet yet) Well, goddammit Ms. Totsy, you never take time off. You’d do me a favor by offering me a little advice. Looks to me you know more about being a dumb ass than you think.

Read Full Post »

The Survivors ll. Collage on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

The Survivors ll. Collage on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

I’m telling you. I’ve been moving in very slow motion over my way. I figure I needed to try writing or the longer I didn’t, it would be that harder to write. I suppose though, I was a little stirred up after watching the GOP Debate last night. Now personally, I can’t go into everything with you on all the whys of this and that ’cause I don’t think we’ve quite made it to the level of you inviting me over for tea or a sleepover, so we won’t go there and whatnot. The lowdown I can give you is that I’ve been watching the news and debates. I’ve undergone some major changes, internally and externally, so if Barack Obama was talking about change in relation to how I’m eating and my physical appearance, he fulfilled that campaign promise.

Folks, over the past few days. I’ve stuck with a strict raw food diet. I have to tell you that I can be somewhat of an extremist on certain matters. Now check this out. I was watching the GOP Debate last night and pondered the concept that when we look at the problem of obesity in children (and adults too, really) across the states we’ve united up and all, Herman Cain has been part of the problem, not the solution. What I do like about him is that he’s fired up to take charge. All of them are but that damn Cain is dangerous, talking about electrifying folk with that fence and all. I mean, damn. That’s some mean shit right there. Plus, a lot of foolishness has come outta his mouth.

Then, Mitt Romney ain’t got a problem evicting folks and letting Deep Pockets buy up the foreclosed homes and leasing them out to make their pockets even deeper. Like, that’s some cold shit. I saw him stopped by a reporter awhile back and he was asked what his thoughts were on Occupy Wall Street. This son of gun said he was just trying to get to the White House. And if you watched the debates, when he and Rick Perry were going at it, I know if they were in an alley somewhere, Perry would’ve knocked the shit out of him ’cause he had that I-could-knock-the-shit-outta-him look on his face. Check YouTube out. You’ll see.

Newt Gingrich, while he tried to unite the party with a let’s-hold-hands-and-play-ring-around-the-roses stance, he was still divisive on account of his attacks on the current administration. The fact of the matter is, parties don’t mean shit to those folk occupying Wall Street. They want jobs to support their families and all that crookedness to be straightened out. Nothing less. One other ironic element of the debate was that it took place in Las Vegas, where a lot of heavy weights duke it out for the boxing belt. Folks, the pot is melting. That explains it all, wouldn’t you say? Which means I’m just gonna have to keep juicing up these carrots to build up my strength. You know, in case I need to jump over that fence Cain got in his mind to build and I have to run for cover. No telling what’s gonna go down and you know we can’t keep stirring a burning pot with a wooden spoon.

Read Full Post »

I spent a little time painting in Photoshop and listening to music on the plane. 12.5 hours is a long time in the air. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

I want each and every one of you to know that I braved it through an eleven-hour layover in Seoul, Korea on my way back over here to the good ole U.S. of A. Actually, I didn’t have much of a choice. I met up with a little friend to hang out with during this time in a vast of a building. It was empty in that place around 11 at night. I had no way to charge my boyfriend laptop until the next morning, when I found out I could trade my boarding pass for an electrical adapter at the information desk. You know, the system’s different over that way.

Anyway, I was good and tired when I got back to America. I talked to my folks, dispensed a few gifts, went to my ole jail cell, place of employment to chat a bit and since I couldn’t fight it anymore, I fell my ass to sleep. It’s a 12-hour difference between there and here, folks.

I also have to tell you, from the time I left America and returned, I didn’t have seat mates ’til I boarded the plane from Korea. There  we were, the three of us packed in like big ass sardines, folks.  I had the window seat, right above the wing and it was a beautiful sight to see them clouds. I wanted to reach out and touch them.

Anyhow, Woman in the Middle, as soon as the cabin lights go off, got to tossing around like she was in her bed at home or something. It was supposed to be a relaxing time ’cause we’d been fed and everything but with all that there tossing I had to endure for what seemed like for damn ever, folks, Totsy got an evil thought going in her mind that she ain’t right too proud of. I got to thinking, “If you don’t stop that moving around up in this here seat, I’m gonna pop the shit outta you.” That was my exact thought, folks. But you’d be proud ’cause I didn’t act on it or nothing. I went on to thinking just how damn sexy an airline pilot is to me, flying that big ass machine and working all them controls, handling that turbulence and shit. You know, trying to think positive and all.

Then I had another evil thought as I was making my way through customs. I had to present this form saying what kinda shit I’d brought back in and answer questions on my whereabouts. Now, before I got up there, this fella had to get his little station ready. I knew right off he didn’t wanna be there. He carried on that way in his body language. I got up there and finish my round of questions and the little cover of my passport falls to the floor, ’cause he really don’t care shit about what he’s doing no how, folks. That’s what got me. That he’s got gainful employment here and don’t give a shit about it. Then, gives me this I-give-even-less-of-a-shit  look that he made my little cover fall to the floor and offers me a weak ass apology. I just looked at him and thought, “You sorry motherfucker, you.”

I did, finally, manage to have myself a pat-down at my final destination but it was by some woman. I figure I must’ve flown in at the wrong time ’cause my Denzel look-alike wasn’t on duty to meet up with me for this strip search pat-down I’ve been looking so forward to. Though, I have to tell you folks, I slept like a dream in my bed. Only four and a half weeks I’d been gone but once I hit Hartsfield-Jackson Airport, it only felt like a day and some change.

It’s still a little early for me to head out to handle a little business and I’ve got myself a gang of things to do before flying out again. Plus, I’m back with my little family and that’s better than cool.  Right now though, I gotta go see what I can fill my stomach with.  May cook me a little somethin-somethin’ while I watch one of my favorite morning news shows to get the lowdown. So my good folks, I’ll catch y’all later.

Read Full Post »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,550 other followers