Co-Worker: One who works with another for paid compensation

Expanded Definition

2) a sloth who watches others work; nonproductive being who always has change for vending machine; drags feet when walking; one with special ass-sitting skills

3) an individual always on the lookout for free shit; shameless in taking office party leftovers home for family meals

4) a male or female who sleeps with boss or others for self-indulgent purposes; skillful in locating discrete hideouts to screw on job; say they are prone to cold sores but everyone knows the real deal

5) one who has an affinity for licking ass; has foul breath but never accepts breath mints when kindly offered

"Sailor Man" Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

6) a person who acquires position through family connections with little or no skills and always engaged in office politics

7) a man or woman whom you enjoy seeing the back of at the end of each work day

8) a skinny heifer who believes her smallness allows her to wear anything but has flat ass, knobby knees, curved spine or very pale skin and frequently wears mini skirts

9) a new, arrogant son of a bitch who knows nothing about job and placed as manager; talks masterfully about topics nobody cares about and tells dry jokes that insecure people laugh at; usually a Caucasian or African American male who has Ivy League education

10) one who enjoys the office more than their dysfunctional home and sits for meaningless conversation after hours rather than go to therapy because they have prayed about their situation(s) with their pastor; typically an overweight African American female

11) a man and woman who complains to one another and will probably end up having bad, regrettable sex together

12) an incessant gossip who was raised in a dysfunctional home whose mission is to wreak havoc and spread misery but has great interpersonal skills

13) a bitch who appears to be perpetually on the rag and is having little or no sex because she sucks in bed

14) an all-around nice male or female whom you really like but wonder if he/she is happy because you sense an underlying sadness

15) a man or woman who seldom talks to other people in the workplace because it’s toxic; not well liked and often spoken badly of because he/she does not reveal personal business in a professional environment; often called bitch or bastard because she/he is professional and sticks to business

16) one who has no gumption to speak up; complains to people who have no power to change anything; typically not promotable and lacks motivation; will usually continue the behavior until retirement age and become a greeter at Wal Mart to stay active

17) a person who is overly eager to go to work due to a deficient social life; lives alone in a one bedroom apartment with a cat; has paid off burial insurance, which is stored in a lockbox at bank

18) a person, mostly female, who takes liberties stealing office supplies and sends children to public schools

"Sailor Man II" Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2012. Totsymae

19) a person who is territorial with space and objects within the workplace that do not belong to them; probably was forced by human resources to get direct deposit because their banking system was at a check cashing booth; typically a person who resides in a trailer park or housing project

20) a tight wad who maxes out at three dollars when funds are collected for others in crisis; usually a very skinny man or woman

21) a lonely soul who thinks her children are gorgeous when they are everything but; constantly nagging people to view latest photos and talking about them because husband sleeps around

22) a person you imagine you could put on a ski mask for and whip his or her ass in a dark alley

23) a person you keep befriending who constantly betrays your trust and undermines your good intentions; this type person is often called stupid; unaccustomed to good people and sings in the church choir

24) a person who is positive and everyone adores, with ability to make others laugh; has a routine of going outside for breaks and lunch to smoke weed and loves Gummy Bears; usually an African American male that everyone wants to sleep with, including other males

25) a woman who wears tight-fitted clothing and shows cleavage when a new male is hired: was perhaps a prostitute in former life; usually has long blonde hair or a homemade weave, a big booty and wears red/orange lipstick

26) somebody you’d never invite to your home because  he/she has openly discussed previous lawsuits; has extensive knowledge of legal system; typically, this is somebody named after an alcoholic beverage

27) one who initiates a coffee club; will have a blow-out with non-contributors; forms bitching circles to talk about the non-contributors; acts haughty with a cup of caffeine in hand and thinks they are better than smokers

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