The Things They Say

"Yack" Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae (

“Yack” Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 

After tomorrow, I have time all to myself. I’ve been looking in the mirror, asking Myself, “So whatchu gonna do?” and Myself hasn’t answered back yet. I don’t know what her plans are for me but I’ve got a real strong feeling she’ll have me working in the yard. She sorta mentioned it already but knowing that I ignored her, she’s singing a cut the grass song, so it’s ringing in my head.

Now, Myself knows good and well I can’t be on my feet all day in nobody’s yard, even if it is my own. She did say I can soak my feet afterwards but she didn’t have to tell me that. Feet hollers loud enough to let me know. Okay?

Myself has a way of making me do things I ain’t rightly up to doing. She’s had me working so hard at times, Feet, Legs, Thighs and all them get to telling me to sit down. Myself keeps pushing it though ’cause she gets all bothered when she’s in the mood to do stuff and I tell her to stop. Said if it was left to me, I’d be eating Sorbet or some other whatnot all day and raised Eyebrow up at me, asking what the devil was wrong with me anyhow. Well, I couldn’t rightly respond with any kinda intelligence, so I kept right on working ’til the mission was accomplished.

You should’ve heard Feet, Legs, Thighs, and even Hips joined in, giving me the business. Talking about they were gonna wait three days ‘fore they settled in and start hurting me on account of me not giving them no rest. True to their word, they did exactly what they said they’d do. All I could do was sit there and take it. Lips told Tongue to cluck against Teeth when Eyes acted like they wanted to cry. Myself rolled Neck and said, “Lordy mercy, ain’t this about nothing…”

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"Two Hats" Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2013. Totsymae

“Two Hats” Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2013. Totsymae

I’m not sure about folk these days. Like, if I got mad at you on account of a disagreement, I’m not gonna take you to the top of a cliff and push you off. Neither am I gonna make little bombs and blow up shopping malls ’cause we don’t share the same religion or idiotology. And I definitely wouldn’t gun down kids who eat Skittles, get away with it and then hold up my in-laws, or make a speech for 20-something hours talking about a Dr. Seuss book. Something’s wrong with all of these folk but you didn’t hear none of this from me. I’m sitting on the porch minding my business.