Folks, I’m sitting here, matter of fact, you are too, blogging mine and your hearts out and it’s like, nobody hears us but us. You ever thought about that? Not to diminish our own importance but I want you to think about it. Why the hell is Ricky, the sweater vest wearing dude, getting all this applause? And you might say I’m hatin’ and all. I am. True dat, true dat. But in my book, I think all of us make heaps more sense than him and nobody’s getting that but us.
Like, would it help if I wore a plaid skirt or something preppy like that to get the kinda attention he’s getting? I do have a couple. Should I expand my line? I’m so very deeply disturbed over this following he’s got that ain’t following me. Seriously. I mean, what’s it gonna take? I believe some of what he believes. Like, I’d stay home and bake bread with seven kids if I had a husband who brought in a couple of million annually like he does. He damn well better want me at home after birthing all them kids. I would be real content to keep house and greet Hubby at the door with a tight belt around my waist like June Cleaver and follow up behind his ass with a poodle while we went shopping. I’d be more inclined to being charitable if I wasn’t trying to figure out a way to bring in the kinda dough he’s banking. Shit, that’s the stuff a good woman’s made of.
And you wanna know a well-hidden secret? (Pause and sigh) I thought, (A deep ass sigh this time) I just might vote for him. I know. I know. But something terribly wrong happened. (Palm on my chest as my mouth trembles…Give me a second…) He started talking and folks, he ain’t shut up since. I won’t go into the whole birth control thing. I ain’t mad at him like most folks, simply ’cause I don’t feel like it. Shit, after watching a hundred debates, my ass is tired and so is my brain. If you’ve been following up behind him or catching snippets from his mind, it would be too exhausting to get uptight every time something slipped from that little mouth of his. To tell you the truth, I’ve worn myself out just by thinking about him. And where did this guy hail from anyhow? The Old Testament?