sun

I know. What does that sun have to do with anything I’m about to say? Absolutely nothing. Forgive me. I’m working on working on trying to blog again. This is a busy time for me. I know it sounds like I’m doing seasonal work akin to being a retail clerk on Black Friday or working the grill at Waffle House after church and whatnot but I tell you, folks. It really does feel like it.

The other day, I was so sore on account of sitting on my tusche and blogging with you folks for days at a time. I can say it’s your fault I was so outta shape and whatnot…Well, why don’t I go ahead and be honest. It was your fault. I’ve never really been in the blame game business. Though, for this, I’m not taking responsibility either. I’ve got enough responsibilities on me, so I’m passing the buck on this one.

You’ll be proud to know I’ve been productive. Productive doing what, you ask as you scratch your head. Well, about a week ago, I sat myself down to get my hair cut. As a result of not liking the cut, and don’t laugh folks, ’cause my esteem is wrapped up in it, but I’m wearing a full blown wig now. Sounds silly and so not me but it’s me. I have to tell you though. I don’t do too well with it by the end of the day. Soon as I feel I’ve driven far enough from work so no colleagues will see me, off comes the wig. Hell, my scalp’s itching now just to write this.

I’ve also been taking line dance classes with a group of senior citizens. You see, my mom teaches the class and I must tell you, while I don’t have two left feet, they do manage to get tangled up still, on occasion. It’s all good though. My memory of dance steps has always been real bad but I’ve got it going on, to be honest. I’m the youngest one there and I also have to add, the coolest.

I could go on and on about how my life is taking off and I’m on the radar for celebrity. Like, how I’m so on the move with this new wig and all but I’m not the bragging type.

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Mixed Emotions

Mixed Emotions

I’m having technical issues, folks. My laptop’s been admitted to Computer Community Hospital, so this is serious. My other laptop, I had to order a battery for, so a friend let me borrow  this one. With all that filling your ear and whatnot, that means I have to pause on Sincerely, Beatrice ’cause I don’t have the same software for laying out the comics or for enhancing my photos. It was hard enough to post this. Just so you know, I didn’t borrow the computer to blog. I work using the computer, so this is kinda a necessity.

In the meantime, I don’t have a whole heck of a lot to say. I was, however, feeling a little Pollocky (Jackson Pollock, that is) over the weekend in painting this piece for someone.

The Art of Randomness

All the Way Home2I had some technical issues making this image, so I had to make extreme modifications. I hope you can appreciate that but if you don’t, there’s not a whole lot I can do about it.

You see, I worked on this visual a few days ago and my frustration with it prompted me to clean my room. It’s so immaculate, you can eat off the dresser and you’d probably enjoy ’cause it’s rather pretty. Speaking of rooms, if you recall, and you probably don’t if you don’t think about me that way, which is fine, but I said I was decorating this year. If I tell you all I bought was a valance to hang in the kitchen window for all my grand notions of decorating, I’d be ashamed…Folks, I’m ashamed. I have multiple excuses to offer but I won’t give any. To be real honest, I don’t even feel like talking about it but I felt obligated on some level since going with this visual.

Being as such, I owe you an apology for talking about nothing strongly related to world affairs, the health crisis or how hard Sherry Shephard’s trying to sell her wig line on The View. If you’re like me, I do like some level of consistency and I’m rightly bothered that Friday brings day 4 of a wig change-up on her head this week. I don’t know about you but there are times when I do sweat the small stuff, even if it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I know I’m not alone in my grievances ’cause if I was, we wouldn’t have as many talk shows as we do.

Far as I’m concerned, there was no better talk show that aired than Phil Donahue. Maybe there’s something about me and Phils. I do like Dr. Oz too and used to watch him faithfully but he started giving me anxiety. You see, I get excited calmly, if that makes any sense, and I couldn’t take all his hyperactivity. I know he’s passionate and all but damn. I don’t wear anxiety well at all but I don’t wanna talk about that either ’cause it may excite me and I don’t feel much like being that either.

Freshly Fabulous

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

Good day, people. I’m here on the beach because I had a photo shoot, which I wanted to share. While some of you are working, and do count your blessings that you’re able, I’m going to enjoy kicking up sand for you and me, okay? I don’t mind at all. Anything leisure I can do on your behalf, put it in the comment box below.

After leaving the beach, I have a shopping appointment with my stylist. That would be Totsy (rolling eyes). My agent, you know, the one I got off Craig’s List, has booked me for an audition on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I am way past prepared to act a fool. You hear me? I’d be a Real Housewife any day than be Tori Spelling.

Tori, you’re going through some really awful stuff! I feel sorry for you and I NEVER feel sorry for rich people. Girl, you are so miserable in your marriage. In your life. However will you resolve this? I hope that show you and Jenny Garth have coming this summer is a success. That would be a good distraction for you. You NEED a distraction. Plus, I really like Jenny. Now, what I’d like to ask, Tori, because I’m quite perplexed…That time you were being filmed by the paparazzi and you were yelling for them to get the cameras off of you, what’s up with that? Can you spell reality show?

Yes, Dean cheated on you. It happens to a lot of women, girl. You, unfortunately, weren’t exempt from a husband’s infidelity. Now, my sources tell me the two of you got together while he was married to his former wife, which confuses me even more. What went around recycled back to you. Stop it with all of this devastation on the TV screen. What I feel sorry for is that you don’t get what I get and I don’t think you ever will.

Verily, verily I say unto you, people, don’t give what you can’t take. As always, I have enjoyed our visitation but I must, as we say in the south, get the mule out of the corn. While I look ravishing in this swimwear, it is crawling into some undesirable places all on its own, okay?

 

Divaliciously Yours,

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Diamond in the Blogging Rough

Beatrice. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Beatrice. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Dear beloveds, I’m slowly and most surely, building my reputation of being the juicy girl with the juice. Keep hanging with The Bea and thou shalt never thirst for gossip. Drink from my cup and be quenched, okay? Snap, snap, split. OUCH!

I, people, am so fabulous, I’m going to be a contributing writer for  The Single Sexy Mommy. While I’m not a Mommy, I am sexy but I don’t have to tell you twice. You’ve seen the pictures, people. Need I post more photos to jog the fog of your memory? I didn’t think so. Plus, I don’t want a traffic jam to crash Totsy’s little site. 

Yes, people, a star has been born. My mouth will perhaps be worn from digging and scooping the dirt. You feel me? I shall probably die wrapped in tabloids, okay?  Snip, sew, snap, baby. Just keep me beautiful. Naturally, I shall keep you in the know. At present, I’m sending OWN an audition tape for my own reality show on men over 4o who wear jerseys and sagging pants. It’s going to be called What’s Up With That? Hey, if hoarders can get on TV with all that trash, certainly I can be a commentator for a topic as this.

In the meantime, toodles  to your noodles and blessed is the wretched. Just thought I’d throw that in since I went to church today via satellite TV, okay? Wide brimmed hat and all, I did that without the gas company ripping me off. The Bea is all about saving a dollar but you shall never holler at me from aisle three of a thrift store, okay?

So people, be sweet while I hit the street to bring you more of the latest.

 

 

Fabulously & Fantastically Yours,

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

 

 

 

 

 

No Cure for What Ails You

"Patches" Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae/www.toshfomby.com

“Patches” Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013 Totsymae/www.toshfomby.com

Seems like every time I visit this blog to say something, I’m trying to explain why I haven’t been around. While you may wanna know, and I know you’d love to be in my business and whatnot, I’m afraid to tell you there’s nothing to tell you that you’d be all that interested in. Truth be told to the third power, I ain’t all that interested in what’s going on with me either.

I’ve been so tired and as we speak, I’m suffering a cough that’d make you kick your mama and sock your daddy in the right eye. Should you actually go off and do a fool-crazy thing as that, send me a video, folks. I do have rare occasions to watch foolishness. While it may be an unhealthy break from reality, any kinda break is alright with me. Okay?

Let me also add that I’ve been trying to get to this blog but I got real side-tracked. The fact of the matter is I don’t know what’s come over me. I don’t. I went to the pharmacy to get this issue medicated but there’s no cure for not knowing how to find your blog. Neither is there a pill, patch or shot for coming up with what to say on the blog once you get there. I was like, Lordy mercy, whatever is a discombobulated southern belle to do? The answer never did come to me, so I decided to take a nap, folks. You know, sometimes, you think better when you’re sleeping…yelling at your neighbors from your front porch…eating syrup sammitches or fish and grits for breakfast…plucking a chicken…You know, it’s a southern thing. I hope you understand.

 

Random Flavors

"Pop Art" Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Pop Art” Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

I went to see The Butler. I don’t wanna tell you what to do but you should go see it too. For awhile, I was going to see a lotta movies and finally, I got to see a good one when I saw The Butler.

For those who tried to see the video I recently posted, I apologize you didn’t get to see it. I, however, was able to see it at different locations on different computers. I don’t know what’s happening on your end. At one point, I couldn’t see it but I clicked something on YouTube and it popped up fine. Try clicking here to see what happens, if you like.

Anyhow, I didn’t come to talk about mucha nothing. I had myself a birthday. My feet don’t hurt anymore. I wasted grape juice on my carpet in the bedroom today. And I need to cut my grass. If cutting grass is up your alley, pay for yourself a background check and come cut it. I won’t be mad at you or nothing, Oh, I’m gonna get to paint up some real art over the weekend, so there’s my life, folks.

"Botox" Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Botox” Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

Well, I’m just gonna share a few new pieces of digital art that you weren’t able to see in the video, if you still couldn’t pull it up. I’ve been having fun with this amateur paint program and making these quick pieces.

Have yourself a good life as best you can but not however you can ’cause it may not go so well if you’re doing whatever. You can sum that advice up the best way you know how ’cause I’m not trying to figure out everything for you. Not that you asked but in case you were thinking to, don’t bother. (Wink, wink).  Besides, it’s been a long day and I ain’t got time to be messing around on no blog. Whoever thought of this blog thing anyhow? Sure wished it had been me.

"Hmm..." Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae

“Hmm…” Digital Art / Copyright 2013 Totsymae