Mixed Emotions

Mixed Emotions

I’m having technical issues, folks. My laptop’s been admitted to Computer Community Hospital, so this is serious. My other laptop, I had to order a battery for, so a friend let me borrow  this one. With all that filling your ear and whatnot, that means I have to pause on Sincerely, Beatrice ’cause I don’t have the same software for laying out the comics or for enhancing my photos. It was hard enough to post this. Just so you know, I didn’t borrow the computer to blog. I work using the computer, so this is kinda a necessity.

In the meantime, I don’t have a whole heck of a lot to say. I was, however, feeling a little Pollocky (Jackson Pollock, that is) over the weekend in painting this piece for someone.

The Art of Randomness

All the Way Home2I had some technical issues making this image, so I had to make extreme modifications. I hope you can appreciate that but if you don’t, there’s not a whole lot I can do about it.

You see, I worked on this visual a few days ago and my frustration with it prompted me to clean my room. It’s so immaculate, you can eat off the dresser and you’d probably enjoy ’cause it’s rather pretty. Speaking of rooms, if you recall, and you probably don’t if you don’t think about me that way, which is fine, but I said I was decorating this year. If I tell you all I bought was a valance to hang in the kitchen window for all my grand notions of decorating, I’d be ashamed…Folks, I’m ashamed. I have multiple excuses to offer but I won’t give any. To be real honest, I don’t even feel like talking about it but I felt obligated on some level since going with this visual.

Being as such, I owe you an apology for talking about nothing strongly related to world affairs, the health crisis or how hard Sherry Shephard’s trying to sell her wig line on The View. If you’re like me, I do like some level of consistency and I’m rightly bothered that Friday brings day 4 of a wig change-up on her head this week. I don’t know about you but there are times when I do sweat the small stuff, even if it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I know I’m not alone in my grievances ’cause if I was, we wouldn’t have as many talk shows as we do.

Far as I’m concerned, there was no better talk show that aired than Phil Donahue. Maybe there’s something about me and Phils. I do like Dr. Oz too and used to watch him faithfully but he started giving me anxiety. You see, I get excited calmly, if that makes any sense, and I couldn’t take all his hyperactivity. I know he’s passionate and all but damn. I don’t wear anxiety well at all but I don’t wanna talk about that either ’cause it may excite me and I don’t feel much like being that either.

A Question from Genesis

burger with watermarkHave you noticed, and perhaps you have ’cause I’m no genius, that blogs are like Burger King? You can have it your way or not at all, if you’re vegetarian. Personally, I like that concept but some kinda way, I’ve not been lucky enough to have it ALL my way.  I’m gonna ask you this since it’s on my mind but first, I want you to also ponder Genesis. You know, Adam and Eve.

They had everything going for them and we, of course, can see that in hindsight. Wasn’t like we were there to stop’em but you get what I’m saying. Anyhow, I was sitting in my car today and told Little Totsy, “I sho’ nuff wish I could sing.” Just as quickly as I thought that, I was jolted with the thought that I should be thankful I’m even still around and to appreciate what I can do. You see, Adam and Eve weren’t thankful either. I mean, I know that Eden was designed for them to do exactly as they did since they were made in the likeness of God and whatnot. But let’s erase that, okay?

In essence, my desire to sing, which will never happen in this life if you could hear me, is a form of complaining. I probably can’t sing ’cause I’d be arrogant or a whining diva or have some kinda addictive behavior. So, I came to the conclusion that I am who I am ’cause I am. It’s that simple.

Like Adam and Eve, I became ashamed on account of how I was thinking. But thankfully, ’cause I was outside and driving my vehicle, sitting at a red light, I already had clothes on. The question I wanna ask is have you ever wondered how Adam got his get-up from Eve after she stitched up the clothes. I figure, being southern and all, she did the sewing. Or am I the only one? And if my imagining is right, how did she wind up getting his fig leaves to him since they were ashamed?…Hmmm.

Glitter and Gold

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There were no winners in the Got Game? contest. That means everybody lost. I’m so sorry. This loss must be akin to losing the lottery on a Saturday night after being stood up. Oh well, maybe next time. Although you couldn’t guess the song, it was fitting for Beatrice on her rise to fame and all. She needed a reminder ’cause she’s real good at inflating herself. Now, many of you liked the voice behind the music and her name is Rebecca Ferguson. I don’t watch talent shows but she was on The X Factor and is British. I so happened to discover her on Youtube but she’s been around a few years. The title of the song is the title of this post. At any rate, you were introduced to a talent you liked, so you’re a winner after all.

Freshly Fabulous

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

Good day, people. I’m here on the beach because I had a photo shoot, which I wanted to share. While some of you are working, and do count your blessings that you’re able, I’m going to enjoy kicking up sand for you and me, okay? I don’t mind at all. Anything leisure I can do on your behalf, put it in the comment box below.

After leaving the beach, I have a shopping appointment with my stylist. That would be Totsy (rolling eyes). My agent, you know, the one I got off Craig’s List, has booked me for an audition on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I am way past prepared to act a fool. You hear me? I’d be a Real Housewife any day than be Tori Spelling.

Tori, you’re going through some really awful stuff! I feel sorry for you and I NEVER feel sorry for rich people. Girl, you are so miserable in your marriage. In your life. However will you resolve this? I hope that show you and Jenny Garth have coming this summer is a success. That would be a good distraction for you. You NEED a distraction. Plus, I really like Jenny. Now, what I’d like to ask, Tori, because I’m quite perplexed…That time you were being filmed by the paparazzi and you were yelling for them to get the cameras off of you, what’s up with that? Can you spell reality show?

Yes, Dean cheated on you. It happens to a lot of women, girl. You, unfortunately, weren’t exempt from a husband’s infidelity. Now, my sources tell me the two of you got together while he was married to his former wife, which confuses me even more. What went around recycled back to you. Stop it with all of this devastation on the TV screen. What I feel sorry for is that you don’t get what I get and I don’t think you ever will.

Verily, verily I say unto you, people, don’t give what you can’t take. As always, I have enjoyed our visitation but I must, as we say in the south, get the mule out of the corn. While I look ravishing in this swimwear, it is crawling into some undesirable places all on its own, okay?

 

Divaliciously Yours,

Beatrice from Apartment 7B

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Art in Motion

Goodness gracious, folks. The Zippety Do-Dah music has come to a screeching halt. The needle’s glided across the record in the middle of my dance. Don’t you just hate that? I mean, who wouldn’t?

Anyhow, I figured the issue, or so I think, and took to the drawing board. Literally. I had to get my mind on something else and painted. Also, since I’m sending Valentine a DVD for her Virginia Woolf’s room of her own, I thought I’d share a sample of what she’ll get.

Blog in Review

Good Saturday, folks. I’m still singing the Zippety Do-Dah  song and I hope you find your beat today. I, folks, am coming up on 3 years of blogging. Now, I don’t typically make a big to-do about it. It’s not like I’m getting paid to do this. You know, it’s just a little playground to talk sense and nonsense. Know what I’m saying?

I was looking over some work I’ve done over my time of blogging and I’ve had a good time with you, folks. Y’all alright by me. Now, I don’t know what folk would say who know you best but I can’t complain. You feel me? I know you do…[Aheeemm, cough, cough...Hand me over that glass of water, will you?] …Y’all a trip, okay?

Anyhow, this has been the best playground I’ve ever played on and I want to share some images I’ve done, that I’ll credit you with helping me create. I say that ’cause I’ve learned from your blogs and while you may like my work, you’re just as creative as I am. Your writing is a visual for me and I have to thank you ’cause that’s the kinda learner I am. With that, you help me to imagine. [Pause. Getting teary-eyed as you clap for me.] Thank you, folks. [Exiting stage with a 3-year blog award in my hand. Trip over gown just before the curtain closes. The award breaks. The audience laughs. LOUD.]

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Got Game?

I’m too excited. I have time off and so now, the race is on. I’ve gotta get done with Sincerely, Beatrice. Though, a change has taken place. I’ve altered Beatrice’s look. She’s a work of art; the haute couture of comics. I like this look. You?

Also, if you so desire, guess the artist and tune on the video. I give prizes sometimes. And guess what folks? Sometimes, I don’t. With this being an upcoming show next month however, I’ll go ahead and make it a contest. For the person who guesses the song AND musical artist, you get one of three prizes below:

1. You get a photo of your choice to be dressed up in a Totsy. That is, a piece of art like you see Beatrice wearing or

2. You’ll get a chance to see yourself transformed into an animated gif  or a product you’re promoting, such as your book or

3. You’ll get a message from me in the comments that says, “Yep, that’s it.”

A name will be drawn if more than one person guesses. After that, a prize will be drawn. As time winds down to premiering Sincerely, Beatrice, another contest will be sponsored and your name automatically goes in the hat to win an original piece of mini art. Sounds good? It does to me.

Deadline is May 31. Guess as many times you want ’til that time.

 

The Truth and Nothing But

thechase

So, I’m somewhat hooked on creating these animated gifs  and I thought, what a cool way to display my paintings. The saying goes that you learn something new everyday. I don’t know if that’s true for me every day. I mean, it could be true but I couldn’t go before a court and testify to it. Nor could I give a testimony before a congregation either. I could be bought, however.

Anyhow,nothing too interesting is happening in these parts. Or maybe I’ve just been too aloof to notice. On the other hand, when I really think about it, I suppose I turn off the care button sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very sensitive person but sometimes I have to turn it off and self-absorb what’s going on with me. If  I’m not careful, it becomes about everybody else except me. Know what I’m saying? But these days, I got stuff on my mind.

Like, how’s the grass gonna get cut next door now that my neighbor’s moved out. And why am I even worried about the grass over there when my own backyard needs cutting. You know how folks are. Always dipping in other folk stuff when theirs’ not together. Don’t try to act like I’m the only one. And I’m not even gonna say I’m a work-in-progress. That’s so overused. Some days, I’m just work, okay? If I’m nothing else, I’m honest and when I’m not, I’m lying, so how’s that truth for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Best Candidates for 2016

Happy Spring

What a nice, quiet day. So nice and quiet, in fact, I began singing the Zippety Do Dah song in my head. I also taught myself  how to create an animated gif, which you can see above. I know. It drove me crazy too as I typed this post. I was going for something else that had nothing to do with making a gif and got a little frustrated. Maybe next time, I’ll do one of Barbara Walters doing a farewell yackety-yack on The View and dedicate it to Elyse, over at Fifty-Four and a Half. She loves herself some Baba. Giggle, giggle. Or better yet, I can make a gif  of Oprah giving me two of all her favorite things or even much better yet, her writing me a check.

Anyhow, I’ve been checking the news out and reading a bit and see that Ben Carson, the pediatric neurosurgeon, may run for president in a coupla years. He’s even left his job at John Hopkins ’cause he’s been speaking all over the country and whatnot. Said he’d only run if God called him to and since everybody’s taking a liking to him, why, this is the sign he’s been needing to confirm God’s word. I reckon that’s how churches are built up too.

Hillary may run but my auntie said Hillary’s too far in age to be president. My thing with Hillary is she’s got herself a temper. And she’s a woman. After watching Scandal, I’m not real sure. But we’ll see. Bill would make a good First Lady though ’cause while he was getting stimulated during his presidency, that trickled into the economy so I may have to give Hillary some real thought. We may have to put up with Chris Christie, who likes to vent in public when folk, particularly the press, pose relevant questions to him. I’d like to see him run though ’cause he’s kinda interesting.

Though personally, I think Ernie and Burt from Sesame Street would make good candidates. What do you think?