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Archive for the ‘Totsy’s Sweets’ Category

Since I was playing around on the computer today, I thought I’d engage you with a Guess Who game. I’ve been? preoccupied so talking is pretty much out for now. I know you don’t mind but you should if you don’t. Anyhow, the game is easy. All you have to do is guess the face and the singer. And?also, guess the song too.?Simple as that. There won’t be any prizes this time. Or the next time, for that matter. But maybe I could the time after that, if there is a time after that.

I hope you have your dancing shoes on and they aren’t dusty like mine.

About these ads

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I know. You don’t have to tell me I’m showing you work you’ve seen already ‘ cause I’ve already told that to myself. I just felt like making a video and I totally promise you the next video will be all new pieces. I’m feeling kinda sorta so-so, so what’s in comes out I reckon.

I’m actually working on a simple concept now but it’s taking me awhile to complete and I do hope to present you with another video later in the week. On second thought, let’s make that next week. Prom weekend’s coming up and Little Totsy is trying my nerves and worn thin all of my patience.

Anyhow, I really am gonna do some things different around here, which you shall be witness to next week. Plus, I’m gonna start being a good girl on here and not run my mouth so much. I hope that doesn’t make you do a hip-hooray dance or nothing like that.

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Gather around in a circle folk and hold hands. You can even snuggle up and suck each other’s toes if you want. I won’t tell a soul. Now, I need absolute quiet ’cause I’ve got me a little story to share with you today. Hence, I won’t be sucking toes myself since I’m doing the storytelling.

I’ve done little in the way of promoting my eBook. I will, however, share a story from the book with you today. It’s a repeat for those who bought the book  but that’s okay, I hope. If not, well, this too shall pass and come again, when I do another promo.

You see, I was too bogged down to promote and this summer, I’ll spend time with you in that way. I hope you don’t mind, ’cause I don’t.

Coroner’s Report

ebookcoverGeorge was a good man, Least, everybody always talked about his devotion to his wife, children he’d sent to college and church. Had a distinguished baritone in the choir that made women folk wet and ready to drop their drawers.

A few of them had too. As good and normal of a man George appeared, he only desired a few sniffs between their legs. Just a closet weird ass.

The last one he was smelling, George up and died. A smile on his face and the smell of twat on the tip of his nose, according to the coroner’s report.

Story from Sock It to Me, Baby, 2013.

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You know I stopped accepting blog awards awhile back, right? Well, I was sitting around here thinking of some awards since I don’t have much else to talk about. Now, these awards don’t have any criteria or rules whatsoever. You simply give them out and set your own rules, which I personally tend to do. I have  a brief description, just so we can be real clear about who’s deserving of what.

Ladies and gentleman folks, The Totsymae Foundation (currently operating as bootleg and proud)  presents you with awards to share among your blogging buddies

Ms. Stay -At-Home Mama Blogger  – She really should be doing the laundry and cooking dinner but she’s not interested. One fine day, she discovered the world of blogging and she became instantly hooked. She talks about her hubby and kids all the time and belongs to every social network related to folk just like her.

santaknocks

oooOOOooo

I’ll Chew and Spit You Out Blogger  - This blogger lives up to their name. They drink a lotta caffeine and will cuss you the hell out. They’re virtual agitators and will go on other blogs to bitch about topics they only have surface knowledge of and don’t wear underwear.

couple

oooOOOooo

Retired and Looking for Trouble Blogger – This blogger is blogging ’cause their spouse is tired of him scratching his balls in the kichen while she’s cooking.

teedoff

oooOOOooo

Mr or Ms Freshly Pressed Blogger – After two months, this blogger is freshly pressed for three straight weeks and now writes about what others can do to become freshly pressed. This instant virtual fame causes them to lose sleep at night ’cause they’re thinking about that bestseller they can’t seem to finish.

mrgoodfoot

oooOOOooo

I’ll Catch You When I Can Blogger  -  This blogger pretends like they’re so busy, they don’t have time for you. In reality, they’re going through shit you wouldn’t believe and wouldn’t want to know about. They will often rush to the keyboard breathless and type out some nonsense about being so busy and may have a touch of ADD.

Walking the Block

oooOOOooo

I’ve Found My Life Calling Blogger – Something dramatic just happened to this blogger and, often a woman, she has the need to talk about it to folk who don’t know her. She often rambles about not having a theme for her blog and asks a lotta questions to the three folk who are following her.

surrender

oooOOO000

This Tastes Better Than it Looks Blogger  -  This blogger is always trying to cook. Has the nerve to take photos and display them too. She watches the Food Network religiously ’cause it’s the ‘in’ thing. Deep down she knows her cooking skills will never measure up but she’s always wanted attention, so here she is.

momma

Know any of these folk? Pass it on…

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ebookcover

Besides my blog posts, I’m a published writer as I speak. Now, what else could that mean since everybody and their mama can publish a book nowadays?

Well, first off, I’m somebody’s mama so I can’t tell you about nobody else’s. What I can tell you is why I wrote this book of flash fiction. It’s chockful of very short stories that kinda bite the shit outta you, hence the title. There are tales that make you say, “Well, I damn!”, while others make you feel just downright sad.

You see, I don’t write about folk who have it all. I’m attracted to folk who have little or nothing or all, whether that’s materially speaking or intellectually. You can very well say I’m an advovate for the underdogs of the world. These folk are often on the fringes of society and skirting the edges of insanity or mixed in mayhem in some form or another. They are lonely, desperate, loving, dangerous and don’t always make the best choices. They are folk you know and some you wished you had no memory of. Yet, as in life, you hope and want the best?for them ’cause you’re good-hearted that way, despite their fool-heartedness. All in all, they are everyday folk, with their own peculiarities.

The other sweet deal of this book is that some of these stories have images to tell you about the story you will read. Sorta like a grown folk picture book.?Can you imagine the image created for stories like Jived by Juicy or Rent Money? Well, the only way to know that is to buy the book and see.

Now, I’m shy about promoting myself like most artistic?types?but how the hell else can I sell the book if I don’t market it? So folks, because it takes me a minute to compose contest ideas, I may come up with one that I’ll advertise here at some point. In the meantime, an invite to post or interview on your blog may be cool.?I promise I’ll behave myself.?Maybe I could do a give-away of some of the art in the book. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose.

In another meantime, you can purchase Sock It to Me, Baby for $1.99 at Amazon.com. To date, the jury is still out on whether this will evolve into a hard copy. I may wait until my second book is published so I can have two books on the shelf instead of one. Just looks better, know what I mean?

So, what’s ahead for Totsy? Shit, I’ve gotta get back to writing is what. I’m working on my novel and the critiques are going very well, I should add. And who knows, I may give Beatrice a shot at starring in her own series. Otherwise, I shall continue painting, writing on this here blog and and hope to keep making you smile.

Thank you, good folks. Enjoy the rest of your day.

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"Halle" Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013. Totsymae.

“Halle” Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2013. Totsymae.

Become a surrogate mother. Even if you tied and burned your tubes, this can be accomplished if you’ve got a sales background with a sweet as pie disposition. All you have to do is convince somebody else to have the baby. Make sure you have business cards and a nice letterhead to sell yourself. Wear a suit but not a gray or black one. Try neutral?colors, like?a soft beige and nothing tight-fitting, please.?Sorry men folk, this is a woman type business.

Sell windshield wipers. This is a very overlooked opportunity, folks. Who the hell thinks about replacing windshield wipers until they’re needed? You can grab lotsa business on a Saturday at your local WalMart. However, don’t go to any African-American owned beauty salon where you’ll also see a parking lot fulla cars ’cause all the money’s going toward hair weaves and laced wigs. Just giving you the heads up beforehand. Okay?

Become a junk mail “get-rid of” business owner. I guarantee you nobody else is doing this as a business. Just think of the time you can save other folk. And it’s recession-proof! Imagine the repeat customers you’ll have with all the shit folk get in the mail everyday. You’ll also be able to make money on the back end by recycling the junk mail.? I promise you can make a stash of cash right in your own neighborhood.

Make unfamous folks famous. If reality TV can do it, why can’t you? Start an online rag magazine. Start with your friends and family. Take photos and tell all their business. You don’t want to take regular ole photos of regular ole folks, however. You’ve gotta catch them when they think they’re looking hot. Nobody wants to read about plain folk doing their laundry or other such nothings. Have interviews and guest spots called Famous Nobodys and I guarantee you that everybody will think they’re somebody, same as reality TV. Now, I can’t promise you won’t get yourself sued. It is a high-risk business but damn worth the effort if you can make it work.

Start a professional kissing school. You can quit your day job with this one. Now, I’ve never heard anybody say they’re a bad kisser. That just doesn’t happen. Though, folk know they can’t be all that good at it when they see their partner wet around the mouth afterwards. I don’t know how that happens but it does. Some folk need help. If you’re more like a licker than a kisser, you can’t be the one opening up this here school. Okay? Your ass gonna need to enroll in some recurring sessions so you can get this down to a science. Alright?

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"Lunch with the Girls" Art and Cover Design by Totsymae Copyright 2012

“Lunch with the Girls” Art and Cover Design by Totsymae Copyright 2012

Hope you folks enjoyed your holiday. Hope you had a happy whatever it is you celebrate. Or if you don’t do that sorta thing, hope all’s good and well with you. I had a fine time myself. Been working on getting my eBook published and man, is it work! It’s all good though. The image above is one of the stories in my book. I have 100 flash pieces in the book but no, I won’t be painting 100 pictures to go inside. No can do.

I was over here deliberating myself, like I often do, and I’ve discovered that I’ve developed an addiction that I’m none too pleased about. Folks, I am addicted to reality TV. Those shows are like Lays Potato Chips, you see. One of two won’t be enough. I think I’m up to five of them now. However, it’s not my fault. It’s this little circle of folks around me that got me into it ’cause I really don’t have addictive characteristics. At least, that’s what I’ve been claiming for years. And I’m not in denial ’cause I won’t tell you I can quit anytime I want on account of me not wanting to just yet. Sometimes you just don’t wanna do shit about such habits and that’s where I am right now. If I told you otherwise, I’d be a liar and since I have a conscience and making strides to live consciously, I won’t be lying and whatnot to you.

So folks, I’m about to consciously scan these networks to see if there’s a reality show marathon on while I paint a coupla more pieces to go in my book. I’ll check on you good folks after the New Year. Be safe and Happy New Year.

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Okay. Here’s the deal. I need your help, if you care to give it.

You see, I’m trying to figure out this cover design for my little ebook and well, I can’t figure it out. Therefore, I need you decisive folk to click and vote for the one you think oughta be the cover. Normally, I would come up with three pieces of artwork but since I have three different cover designs, let’s pretend I followed best practices for the design world. After all, I did come up with more sketches you didn’t see, so I did all the work in the background.

Now, just so I don’t get on your nerves or nothing, if I haven’t already, I won’t make mention of voting for nothing else until I ask you to vote for something else. I would reward you in some way but I’m planning on a yard sale next year and I can’t pull nothing out to give you ’til I see what sells first. I’m all about industry and whatnot, if you catch my drift. I will, however, make up your time in the future, if you call clicking a button all in half a second taking up time. You let me know and I’ll catch you on the rebound.

Anyhow, make yourself useful while you’re here and vote. And grab yourself some punch and knock yourself out. (See how funny, and ultimately, lame I can be on the spot?)

Thank you, folks.

Cover art and design by Totsymae - No. 1

Cover art and design by Totsymae – No. 1

Cover art and design by Totsymae - No. 2

Cover art and design by Totsymae – No. 2

Cover art and design by Totsymae - No. 3

Cover art and design by Totsymae – No. 3

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Okay. I have this cool title for my book of flash fiction. Right now, it’s gonna be in ebook format only. I’m calling my debut publication Sock It to Me, Baby. I told you that before but?in case you didn’t remember…

I’m?not altogether sold on this cover, so I’ll present another, hopefully, before the week is out.? I find it so hard to satisfy myself. I’m halfway done with the second piece of artwork, so I’ll do my best to have it posted in a coupla days. I feel myself getting ill again. Not like me. The quick turnaround, so maybe it’s a temp kinda thing. Meaning, it’ll be all good tomorrow.

For this book, I even have a concept for my book trailer. I don’t know if folk do that for flash books but oh well, I am. It’s gonna be fun. I hope. If I don’t cower, it should be fun. We’ll see. In the meantime, I’m trying to figure?out this whole e-publish formatting. The cover is right, from what I’ve read so far.

I thought of writing something on the raunchy side but I’m not the raunchy type. Least nobody’s ever told me that….Hmmm…Wonder if that’s a good or bad thing. Maybe good, for a Southern Belle as myself.

sock it to me baby

Artwork and Cover Design by Totysmae

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My, how time flies. I have one more post to contribute to Race 2012. I’m two days late on posting this one, so I won’t chit-chit much, as I’d like you, if time permits, to watch the video and offer your commentary. I’m paying by way of a smile (hehehe). Intangibles go deep, okay? Now, this post isn’t as heavy as what we’ve discussed on other posts for Race 2012. While it may be entertaining on some level, it’s also insight into how some of us think and misunderstand one another. You can grab a bag of popcorn for this one, folks.

One of the things I thought about when watching these videos is whether it’s a little easier to laugh away the issue of race relations or if comedy can really get folks talking. There were a number of these videos presented by Reckless Tortuga, so you may wanna check them out.

As always, thank you for your time and comments. See you on the backend.

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This piece is a copy I composed years ago when learning to draw. I don’t recall the title but I did record that it depicts the “southern view of a carpet bagger canvassing black votes for personal profit. Not all northerners came to the south with such motives.”

Today, I’m using video footage in our discussion for Race 2012. I think this particular video is relevant to our topic, as it brings a historical context, as well as some current issues which are of value as it pertains to Jane Elliott’s “Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes” experiment that I presented here last week, in addition to current race matters.

Share your thoughts. While you’re a guest here, you don’t have to say the politically correct thing (ahem, aheeeem). And even then, you may still get it wrong, which is why we’re talking in the first place. Tim Wise is your speaker today, folks.

To visit other bloggers participating in Race 2012, visit Monica’s page. You can also watch the PBS Special, A Conversation About Race and Politics in America, by visiting the website.

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Tosh on Oct. 13, 2012

Every now and then, I think it’s important to reintroduce myself. You know, I’m sitting behind the screen running my mouth, I can’t forget my southern hospitality by not welcoming you to my page, blog or however you reference it. The first time, I introduced myself in the way of letting you peek into my studio via a video. I couldn’t do that today. I have a small mess going on. Not big but I can’t let company in there at the moment.

Now, apparently, I think this photo was okay enough to put here. I absolutely hate taking pictures but I asked my nephew, who’s tall as all get out with his still growing self, to snap a photo of his favorite auntie. He was laughing ’cause that’s what he does, I guess. Not on account of  me looking funny. Or do I?…Watcha mouth now.

I once told Little Totsy I was gonna put a video here and since she said, “Please, don’t,” I decided against it. I don’t know why she’d say sucha thing. I was gonna be good. Or maybe I wasn’t. I can’t remember anymore. Anyhow, I don’t smoke like the impression I’m giving in my avatar. I just think she’s way cooler than me and it’s not like it’s hard to be way cooler than me anyhow. Not that it matters.

But enough talk about me. I thought while having this discussion about race, now would be an appropriate time to acknowledge the true owners of this land we call ours. It’s always on my mind, especially as we engage in this discussion, which makes me sad to think how we’ve staked claim to it when millions of Native Americans were wiped out and sequestered on reservations as though they were sub-human. It was beyond criminal.

As a lover of all music…well, not opera, I tried but it didn’t work out, I hope you enjoy the video. Join me again for Race 2012 tomorrow. I look forward to hearing from you.

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