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Folks, today, I’m gonna report the news on what’s happening down south. Picture this. Me on your TV screen talking just like this, reporting the 6:00 news…
On Monday, a man was all broken up ’cause his woman left him. His time had expired in her life and she was moving down a different road without him. He wasn’t doing right and she wasn’t having it, more than likely. Folks, he was too through about this. I mean he was so through, he put it in his mind to follow her to the mall and have it out with her. Oh yeah, he was gonna cut the fool like he’d never done before, you hear me?
Well, she’d just done her shopping and what have you and heading to her car. His no count self approached her and got to yelling and whatnot. Just raising all kindsa hell. Folks were looking all around and next thing you know, a POW POW POW shot into the air and landed in that woman’s body. It was an awful sight, witnesses say, but all they could do was call 911.
This fool-cutter, we’ll now call him, who did the shooting, left like not a darn thing had ever happened. Got in his ride and drove away like any other day. You hear me?
To conclude this unfortunate story, the woman fought real hard but not too long ’cause she passed on yesterday. I’m real sure she left loved ones behind. And it so happens this fella did too. You see, he went to an even darker place inside himself. Had all them swirling emotions riding his tail and it was all, way too much. He drove to a spot, where nobody was around to intercept ending his life in peace. Now, folks wanna know why he didn’t do that before he shot that woman. And folk ponder that every time a story like this happens, which happens real often, you know.
True story, folks. Happened the other day.
It just seemed so unfair to group men folk all together on account of one fella not knowing how to fix a vacuum cleaner. But I have to tell you how strange that was ’cause that was a head-scratcher there. I don’t know what sorta raising he got not knowing how to fix a simple machine as that. In other words, a man should enroll in vacuum repair school or something of the sort. I’m starting to wonder if he knows how to use a can opener. I mean, really!
It’s not that I think all men are mechanically inclined. I can spot a man who don’t like getting his hands dirty and that’s real fine if he has money to pay to get what’s broken fixed. I mean, who wants to hear, “Wait ’til I get my money right,” when the car’s sitting on bricks in the driveway? Those are some very unsexy words, fellas. Take those words to your grave, okay?
Now men folk, based on experience, I know women can be unreasonable. We don’t tell you we’re still mad from last year but to be fair, y’all do some real dumb stuff over and over and we get real tired of telling you the same thing. Y’all know good and well you don’t need to keep telling us not to overspend ’cause that’s kinda hard once the adrenaline gets going and we see other women folk with more shopping bags than us. We have to look like we’ve got it going on to some extent, okay? Long as you’re paying the mortgage, you’ll get over it.
One last thing, men folk. You don’t have to make heaps of money. It sure would be nice but all of you don’t come packaged that way. Women fully understand that.
Men folk, it’s not that you have to have the best job but have A job. If you ain’t getting ample pay, ain’t nothing wrong with filling out an application for a second source of income. Take it to your woman, she’ll fill the thing out for you even. That’s what I call a supportive woman, okay?
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