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Archive for the ‘Introducing Totsy’ Category

The Reality of the Situation

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2013 | 14 Comments »

Beatrice Goes Hollywood. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

Beatrice Goes Hollywood. Copyright 2013 Totsymae

I’m not sure about you but I miss me being here. Totsy is a character that I’m rather stuck with, unfortunately. Therefore, when she mentioned the possibility of sinking this ship, I was not a happy camper. Who can I dish the Hollywood dirt to otherwise?

Though, I regret to inform you that I don’t have much juice to spill your way at present. The thing of it is, I thought I was well on my way to getting my own reality show but this guy I met sunk that boat as soon as it unanchored. There are truly some money snatchers in the world and I must get out of their midst.

Now, I did have a rare opportunity to speak with the porn-turned-reality-diva herself. Kim, as in Kardashian, okay? We could’ve been best buddies and sleeping together had I been a black guy but, well, I don’t know. Maybe if Kanye had told her to sleep with me, and I wasn’t a straight woman of the Lord, I would have. I mean, everybody’s doing everything now, so there you go.

People, I am aware that Kimmy may not be well received here, as some of you aren’t into the reality scene as I am. I, however, must be in the know regarding all things Hollywood and sometimes, in the hood, if that’s where the action is, okay?

I do want to turn your attention to a new show called Married to Medicine and if you catch a glimpse of this show, I do believe you will conclude as I have, that these doctors are married to mess. Let’s be really real about that. And now that I’m getting into my gossip groove, I need to put it out there that Kenya, from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, is truly psychotic to the 3rd, no, the 5th power.

KimK

Photo Enhancement by Totsymae 2013

Kenya, Apollo was never trying to sleep with you, Girlfriend. He was trying to get with me. And so was Peter. And Greg. And Todd. And the guy you called gay because he wouldn’t sleep with you…Well, he’s my man now and he can tow my truck anytime, okay?

And Portia. Dear darling, Portia. I felt so embarassed for you tonight. I thought you would never find the period to end your rambling. I so thought that long speech of yours should’ve been directed toward your husband, who IS controlling and I’m sure if he’d seen me, as the other fellas, he woud’ve been trying to sleep with me too.

Two snaps and a bag of popcorn, people. Beatrice is back!

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A Collage of Sorts

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2012 | 39 Comments »

Portrait Designs by Totsymae

In the next few weeks, I’ll have completed all of the artwork for the self-publication of my first book. I’ll display the cover here and go ahead and let you know I’ve entitled it Sock It to Me, Baby.  It’s pretty much official that I’m running myself a little business now. I’ve been working on that for a few months and I’m in the process of partnering with a partner to do a series of other whatnots. Other than work, this little business of mine and talking smack, that’s pretty much what’s happening on this end.

Today, I’m displaying a collage of portrait design work. Outside of pen and ink, these are all the mediums I use to compose portraits, which I’ve incorporated as part of my little business and have a handful of commissions. When I say mediums, I mean oil, watercolors and the lot. Next year, I look forward to having a series of characters from my own head  hosting this blog, so you’ll hear from other folk on occasion. If you wanna know about some real characters that have been in my life, visit Real Life Folks. I kid you not, I only exaggerated a little.

Well, I’m getting on the hungry side and need to eat something before I get mad. Enjoy the holiday, folks.

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Let’s Talk About Sex

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2012 | 37 Comments »

Ooh folks, I can breathe now. I’m telling you, I’ve been tired. I’m catching naps like a senior citizen around here. Not that anything’s wrong with being a senior but hell, who’s rushing?

You know, when I was over in Saudi, I worked a good three hours a day. It changed to about 5 every now and then but you can’t work a full day over there on account of the heat. Well, least I never tried since I didn’t have to. Now that I’m working full days, I’m like, shit, this is exhausting. Being that it’s depleting my energy, I’m starting to wonder who the hell dictated that 8 hours equated to a full day of work. What’s wrong with 3, or I’ll take an even 4.

Anyhow. During a little rest period, I found myself watching this program called Sex in America. Don’t look at me all funny. It happens. I used to be a big watcher of documentaries but I haven’t in a long time, so I figure this was as good as any to find myself watching, okay? Besides, I was getting myself educated about you folks in America (hehehe!).

See, there was reference to this thing called The Kinsey Report and there were all manner of things in it. You know. How sex was years ago and what it’s like in our modern world. I wonder sometimes if we’re too open about private things. Like, these folk were talking on my screen about what they like to do in the bedroom. Well, obviously I was interested to some degree ’cause I didn’t turn the channel. They were talking and going on and toward the end, the lesbian couple started kissing and going on. I didn’t need to see that but there it was.

And there was this couple in their seventies on there talking about what they did. Nothing in detail really but enough to let me know there was something going on in their bedroom. I was surprised. You know, I’m innocent like that and for anybody who hasn’t done the do at 70-something, so are you. They. Or however I’m supposed to say it. I remember seeing Jane Fonda on some show this or last year, talking about sex was better than ever after 70. Naturally, I’m thinking, how, right? Well, Jane didn’t say how. You have to wait ’til you get there, I imagine.

Did you know homosexuality used to be considered a mental illness? Don’t shoot the messenger, folks. And did you also know that the younger folk are using condoms more than older folks? Matter of fact, the younger they are, the higher the use of condoms. That’s the word from the program. Anyhow. How do you feel about this sexual revolution? I mean, we’re in it and got here that way… Well, some of us.

Do we put too much out there or should we back up a little? Based on where we are now, where do you see us, say 10 and 20 years from now? You don’t really have to answer that but I’m on the curious side, so yeah, answer that for me.

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Beautifully Impowered

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , on June 13, 2012 | 30 Comments »

It’s been a rough couple of days here, folks. I started what I thought was a humorous post on How to Pee  in a Public Restroom in Saudi Arabia but then I thought, “Totsy, that’s nasty.” I was gonna give you a full class and everything but shit, I don’t wanna talk about this place right now. It’s hot as shit and I’ve been feeling like shit.

So, how’re you folks doing? I saw where The Obamacrat posted Tyler Perry’s latest movie. After a few tries, I was able to see the movie trailer. He’s come a long way from his first movies. And Impower You honored me with the Beautiful Blogger Award. She also told me if she were me over here in The Kingdom, she’d be rioting. I don’t think she understands exactly how hot it is over here, folks. And it’s getting hotter. Now, if there was an air conditioned room to riot in, I’d be real down with the cause. You probably couldn’t shut me up. But I don’t see me holding signs or raising hell in all this heat. No mams and sirs. You’ve gotta be one hell of a feminist to beat down the heat AND riot over here. I’d be sitting somewhere in the shade saying, “Now, that’s one bad ass bitch right there. I ain’t messin’ with her.”

Well, thank you Impower You for bestowing this award on me. Much appreciation to you for thinking of me in this light.

Now, it’s late over here. I had to see the dentist tonight. That’s right, tonight. I don’t know why business is late other than it being too hot. Sometimes, the electric just shuts down, it’s so hot and it’s been happening a lot lately but it only lasts for 10 or 15 minutes. Imagine my panic, if you will.  Anyhow, I woke up this morning to a swollen face. Not cute, okay? A Sudanese woman I work with escorted me ’cause she understands everything and she don’t take no mess. She’s a young chick and funny as all get out.

Tomorrow, her, another lady and I are gonna wind down with a famous Saudi dish called Kappsa. I don’t know if the spelling’s right. Probably not but I’m eating it even if it’s got chicken in it ’cause I can’t leave here without saying I didn’t taste it, right. Actually, I’m gonna have more than a taste. I’m gonna have a good portion. And since the weekend here is Thursday and Friday, I’m gonna make my way to visiting some of your blogs. I don’t have much else to do anyhow. Shame, ain’t it…

Facebook status. And how I’m really doing lately.

Otherwise, I work really hard…Sorta.

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A Big Apple Head, I Am

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2012 | 33 Comments »

Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

I’m in a little jam, folks. I really, really am. You know, I kinda enjoy myself a good meal and I have to tell you, even though I have a pretty strict diet for health’s sake, I was able to enjoy food, all fresh that is, in the U.S.

Folks, being over here in the middle of the east, I’m so sick and tired of broccoli and lettuce,  I could absolutely choke myself than take another bite. I mean, shit! There are only so many ways I know how to whip it up.  To be honest, I almost hate food at this point. I hate when I get hungry, ’cause that means eating pretty much the same thing I had the last few days. It wasn’t so bad eating all natural when I had more choices but hell, I ain’t that creative in the kitchen and while I’ve been trying to work with what I’ve got, I ain’t got all that much to work with. I know I told you I wouldn’t moan and groan but actually, I started this post on Saturday, when I was moaning and groaning, and I need y’all to hear me out on account of me not having anything else to say right now. Okay?

Well, Friday, I ate apples, alright? All. Damn. Day! Oh, it was okay the first two or three times but it seemed like after the fourth and fifth, my stomach said something like, “Oh bitch, hell naw! You have got to be kidding me.” But I wasn’t.

I’m telling you, I’ve lost my enthusiasm to eat and a lot of times, I avoid it by drinking water. I went to the store Saturday and guess what? My ass bought more apples. Only this time, they’re the yellow ones. You see, I change up the colors to psyche myself into thinking I’ve got a lot more variety than what reality tells me. I tried to cook some fish but that turned out like shit. Twice. Two different types of fish, mind you. Suffice it to say, I won’t be cooking fish while I’m over here.

On a good note, I’m eating healthy. But that I’m disinterested in eating is a real trip ’cause you couldn’t make me believe it if I saw it in a crystal ball myself. Also, I have to work out whether I’m getting all of what I need to, you know, remain intact ’cause the folk here don’t eat all that well. Dressed under all this stuff, folk tend to let themselves go and and I mean GO! The food labels are so tiny, you need a damn magnifying glass to read the ingredients and I’ll be the first to tell you, that don’t work too well when your face is covered up. It’s an absolute bitch, really.

Anyhow, between me not being a culinary expert, my limited choices and diet, I’m very limited with fresh food choices in the desert. I’m wondering what’s gonna become of me, folks. Seriously. I mean, how many apples can I keep eating on a daily basis? I miss sweet potato souffle, squash, green beans and the like. You know, good ole southern cooking on the healthy side. I don’t even see brown sugar over there. Oh Lord Lord, woe is me! (Now banging my big head on the dressing table)

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High and Low Roads

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , on April 19, 2012 | 34 Comments »

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

Herm Albright

*********

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Winston Churchill

I’m surrounded by a lot of different folk from a lot of different places and you know, I don’t care where folk are from, you’re gonna find good and not so good folk, who will remind you of those other folk who speak your same language. I mean, we’re all the same kinda folk really, just in different locations and speaking different tongues of some sort. We’ll talk more about that later. As best I can, I’m trying to light up the blogosphere. Also, here’s a blast from the past. Have a good day, folks.

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Guest Post by Amanda Green: Tips for Dealing with Morning Sickness

Posted in Guest Posts, Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2012 | 8 Comments »

Public Service Announcement

One of the most commonly heard concern from pregnant women is that of morning sickness. The estimated chance of a pregnant women experiencing morning sickness throughout her term is roughly between 50-80%! So what is “morning sickness”? It is generally characterized as unprovoked nausea (meaning there is no virus or otherwise diagnosed illness to cause the nausea) which manifests strongly in the mornings, though it can last through out the day or be at its strongest point at another time of the day, depending on the woman. It can also show up as a strong and almost violent aversion to certain foods, again depending on the woman. Foods that were once favored can be completely intolerable and vice versa.

Some doctors will prescribe pills for the morning sickness but that can lead to more complications such as headaches and stomach irritations. Most women are very cautious about taking medications while pregnant, and with good reason. The baby absorbs a portion of everything the mother intakes. Therefore natural remedies are extremely popular among expectant mothers looking for pregnancy nausea relief. Natural remedies are completely harmless for the baby and have significantly lesser chances of adverse reactions when compared to prescription medications. Of course, it is always advisable to discuss naturally remedies with a physician before starting on any specific plan.

So what are these remedies? The most commonly utilized, and highly favored, options are those of acupressure bracelets, peppermint essential oils and/or ginger tea. There are also dietary suggestions that seem to have had a fair amount of success when followed by pregnant women with mild to severe morning sickness symptoms. And finally, many women espouse the virtues of acupuncture as a means of alleviating the nausea and intense food aversions they experience during pregnancy. An acupressure band is meant to worn around with wrist and it applies slight pressure to the pericardium 6 point found on the inside of the wrist. These bands are also referred to as “sea bands” and are traditionally Chinese, having been used to relieve the symptoms of motion sickness and nausea for centuries. The band begins to work immediately and poses no threat whatsoever to the mother or child.

Another well known and traditionally used method for relieving nausea is using peppermint essential oil to calm the tumultuous stomach. Using the purest form of peppermint oil that can be found will yield the best results. Some oils can be ingested but the user must be careful to read any warnings on the specific oil they are using as some oils may be mixed with other elements. Using a diffuser is also an excellent way to allow the peppermint oil to work its magic. If a diffuser is not around the a few drops of peppermint oil can be placed in a large bowl that is filled with hot water. This bowl must be places near the nauseated person in an area where it will not be knocked over and it will work much like a diffuser to deliver the oil.

Ginger tea is probably the most recognizable of all the natural remedies. Many people still purchase ginger ale when they are fighting a stomach virus because the ginger is an excellent soother of savage tummies. Naturopaths, midwives and even medical doctors often recommend the use of ginger to help combat morning sickness symptoms. Clinical trials indicate that using one gram of ginger a day, divided into four doses, can be helpful for a period of four days up to three weeks. Basically, half a teaspoon of ginger steeped in hot water for five minutes, four times a day, is the best method for alleviating nausea from morning sickness. There are some that claims ginger tea may have adverse affects for the baby but there have been no studies that have validated these claims.

Acupuncture is the practice of introducing needles to certain parts of the body to release toxics and relieve pains and stressors. Acupuncture can be helpful but the studies cited also involved the use of prescription medications in conjunction with acupuncture. Finally, there are certain dietary changes that have proven helpful. Eating smaller meals every few hours helps to keep the stomach even tempered. Avoiding fatty foods and fried foods and keeping toast, bread or crackers near by to snack on is also helpful. Women should make sure to watch for foods that may trigger the nausea and to drink lots of fluids, specifically water, between meals.

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Folks, He Was Carrying a Cookbook

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 22, 2012 | 49 Comments »

Apologies. I had to interrupt Beatrice’s post to say something very important. To me.

Mr. Boy, my son, is a chef. He went to school for it. In less than two months, he’ll leave for the military. He scored exceedingly high on his military test. While I was in Taiwan, he made this decision. Though, before I left for Taiwan and he came back to live at home, he worked in Athens, GA at UGA. It’s a small but big college town. He had himself an apartment and roommates to make life easier. He and his roommates, who were all white, got along real fine and I liked them.  In my eyes, they were all young men trying to make it in the world.

Mr. Boy’s a hardworking fella and has a knack for things mechanical and technology. He’s a news buff and likes to debate shit. He probably knows more about what’s happening in the world than I do. He’s a handsome fella, too. I have to say, me and his daddy made us some good-looking and smart younguns. This son of mine is just an all-around kinda guy ’cause well, he’s mine and his daddy’s child. We’re just kinda all-around folk ourselves. Though, I, folks, have a keen eye for shit and will call shit what it is and ain’t shy about telling you how bad it stank. But I, like other folk like myself, get so tired. You know, we get weary of the shit.

So, when my son totaled his second car, he had to learn some life lessons. He walked one half hour to the bus stop to work five days a week to get to that job. Did it for some months too. Got so, he started enjoying his walks. They gave him time to think and get healthy. He was breathing better. On some of those walks, we’d be talking on the phone. Before he moved to Athens, I told him that was no place for a young black man; the town was too small. And it was.

How many times he was stopped for walking to work by the police, I can’t even tell you, folks. Carrying a pen, ID and a cookbook in his backpack and bits of papers, like receipts and shit. He’d just hand it over to them. Receipts and crumbs in the bottom of the bag and all. Imagine my level of pissivity and worry when he’s stopped for the umpteenth time as I’m talking to him one morning. If you can imagine at all, folks. Umph, umph, umph…This is what happens to the Trayvon Martins in the world, folks. Real life shit, okay?

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This Blogging Business

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , on March 11, 2012 | 79 Comments »

One matter of my pondering is the erratic nature of this here blog. I say that ’cause I see other blogs that have a straight-on direction.You know, they may write about writing or do reviews, things of that sort. Now, you may not have noticed at all but there have been a couple of times when I got stone bored with blogging but like other matters in life, I saw my way through it and kept chugging away.

On the backside of all this, I’ve been writing a lot of flash fiction as I, mentally, try to work out how I need to restructure my novel. Now, this is the novel I aim to finish first ’cause it’s the same one I took to my critique group that helped me define my writing style. Let me say this folks, Totsymae is the writer and the other person is the artist. The artist ain’t been painting so much ’cause Totsy’s taken over after so many years of not writing faithfully. And that’s okay. With this collection of flash pieces though, I’ll be doing a lotta drawing and painting soon.

Any ole how, sometimes I have to reflect on this blog so that it’ll keep my interest, as well as yours. Certainly, I don’t wanna write nothing where you can see I’m totally distracted or the blog’s turned into a Hollywood gossip column. Well, I do like dabbling but I won’t dig down too deep in the Wood. Okay? Believe it or not, I’m methodical about the content here but not in an organized fashion. So maybe you can answer some of these burning questions:

  1. Should subscribers know the rhythm of when you post? Should they expect to hear from you twice a week, if that’s how you roll or once a day? I ask this ’cause word is, if you wanna turn blogging into a profession, posts must be consistent. That’s not my target but for whatever you’re doing on your blog and you want followers, blogging, it’s said, shouldn’t be sporadic.
  2. What’s too much in your mailbox? Is three times a day too much? Once a day? What?
  3. Are guest posts okay on the blog you subscribe to or not? What if there was a noted author or noted whoever? Would that be cool?
  4. What’s your least favorite topic when reading a blog?
  5. What makes you fall in love with a blog or fall out with it?

These are all general questions you can relate to any blog, not mine specifically. I guess I’d be okay with you telling me something I didn’t wanna know. I don’t know. I’d have to read what you said first. Then, if I didn’t like what you said, I’d blog real bad stuff about you. Just joshing, folks.

Many thanks to all of you. You’re most appreciated. I was about to say I don’t have any thank you gifts to hand out but I do actually. Download this PDF. Listen to it and after you finish your business, hang it on your wall. (Hehehehe!)

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I’m Joining the Ranks of Lenny Kravitz

Posted in Introducing Totsy, Totsy's Sweets, tagged , , , , , , , , , on January 11, 2012 | 22 Comments »

"Bread and Wine" Mixed Media on Board. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

See, over at Beverly Diehl’s place, Writing in Flow, I’m guest posting and everybody who does that becomes a Rock Star. If I were a rock star in real life, I’d be Lenny Kravitz, by the way.

Now, don’t go thinking I’ve put on my Sunday’s best for this occasion. It’s special, yes, but I’m every bit as much myself there as I am here. That being said, come join in for a roundtable discussion. There’s valet parking if you need it but it’s on the bus line too. Remember, you wanna ring the bell and get off at Writing in Flow.

I’ll be sitting at the table with the red tablecloth, trying to look inconspicuous, wearing dark sunglasses and sipping cheap champagne from a mason jar.

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A Saturday Stroll with Soul

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2011 | 32 Comments »

Hey, it’s Saturday and music’s on the menu. Gotta love it. I know I do. I’m gonna make my way to the little studio and see what the sounds lead me to creating. My time’s short and I know you’ve got your little family to tend and need to put in that quality time and all. I’m trying to handle a li’l somethin’ somethin’ on my end too. In my neck of the woods, it’s clear and sunny and you know, I get another chance…Hope you like the video.

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I’ll Holla

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2011 | 14 Comments »

Aaliyah (R.I.P.) Copyright 2011 by who? Me.

Hey, folks. I needed to peep in and give a quick scoop. I’m pressed for time ’cause I’m making my way back to the beauty school to get my do done. I didn’t tell you I walked away from there last week, rather displeased. You talk about somebody who couldn’t wash hair, folks, I had her!

First off, I didn’t have the usual student working on me. Hoooooooney, I got under that wash bowl and Other Person was barely grazing my head and that frustrated the shit outta me! But I was cool and patient. I’m proud of myself ’cause I only showed a hint of irritation a couple times and even left her a tip. Folks, I had to remember that was a school I was in and not a soul dragged my ass in there to be tested on. But it’s all good. I’ll be real happy when I leave there today ’cause Hook Me Up Student knows how to do whaaaaat? Hook Totsy right on up, y’all.

Now, what I wanna holla at y’all for is this little story I started yesterday. You can see it’s like a mini book, so I’ll get back with it and let you know what happens with Desperita and Bootleg Man. Just so you hear it from me, they were both a trip, I thought. Who knows what’ll end up happening with those two. Writing that was totally unplanned, so soon as they let me know what’s going on, you’ll have all the low down and dirty on those two. Check them out tomorrow to see what’s going on.

On another note, since I’m doing the mini book, this week will be the last Flash Fiction Friday. For now. I don’t want any speed bumps on the back end of me finishing up the short story collection. So, I have to give up something for now. Thought I’d run that by you to see if that was okay… Okay, cool. I like folk who can dig where I’m coming from.

Anyhow, I gotta give attention to folk I’ve been reading and about to read. Lately, I’ve been purchasing a lot of indie authors’ works. Denis Gray’s Lucky, I’ve been reading excerpts from his FB page and just ordered the book. He’s got a pretty extensive background in publishing and has written plays, short stories, you name it. I’m about to purchase his short stories on CD too since it’s gotten good reviews. I listened to the samples, folks and it’s hot! If you’re a jazz lover, you’ll enjoy it, I promise. Kenya D.Williamson, I have to credit with starting me in writing flash fiction. I read her first piece on her blog and was like, damn, that’s some good shit! Her novel is Depth of Focus. Sonia Rumzi is my Twitter BFF and absolute doll to me, always retweeting my posts and letting me borrow recipes from her blog, that I’ll more than likely pass on to my son to cook for me since he’s a chef. Her work’s on Smashwords, entitled Caring for Eleanor. Rhonda’s,  A Piece of Peace, is another good read for y’all to have a look-see. She’s also a poet and I got to hear it on her website. Nicole Sconiers, y’all, is definitely somebody to watch for. Escape from Beckyville is her debut publication of short stories. You’ll also wanna check out Kaye George’s Choke, which is a mystery and her blog excerpt got me interested. All of these great women folk are SheWriters. Men are there too, so don’t be shy about joining.

Plenty of variety to keep us all well-rounded, yeah? Folks, I gotta go now. I’ve been battling with this damn fly since I started writing this post and it’s about to make me go mad.

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