sun

I know. What does that sun have to do with anything I’m about to say? Absolutely nothing. Forgive me. I’m working on working on trying to blog again. This is a busy time for me. I know it sounds like I’m doing seasonal work akin to being a retail clerk on Black Friday or working the grill at Waffle House after church and whatnot but I tell you, folks. It really does feel like it.

The other day, I was so sore on account of sitting on my tusche and blogging with you folks for days at a time. I can say it’s your fault I was so outta shape and whatnot…Well, why don’t I go ahead and be honest. It was your fault. I’ve never really been in the blame game business. Though, for this, I’m not taking responsibility either. I’ve got enough responsibilities on me, so I’m passing the buck on this one.

You’ll be proud to know I’ve been productive. Productive doing what, you ask as you scratch your head. Well, about a week ago, I sat myself down to get my hair cut. As a result of not liking the cut, and don’t laugh folks, ’cause my esteem is wrapped up in it, but I’m wearing a full blown wig now. Sounds silly and so not me but it’s me. I have to tell you though. I don’t do too well with it by the end of the day. Soon as I feel I’ve driven far enough from work so no colleagues will see me, off comes the wig. Hell, my scalp’s itching now just to write this.

I’ve also been taking line dance classes with a group of senior citizens. You see, my mom teaches the class and I must tell you, while I don’t have two left feet, they do manage to get tangled up still, on occasion. It’s all good though. My memory of dance steps has always been real bad but I’ve got it going on, to be honest. I’m the youngest one there and I also have to add, the coolest.

I could go on and on about how my life is taking off and I’m on the radar for celebrity. Like, how I’m so on the move with this new wig and all but I’m not the bragging type.

Whatever Happened To…

tree

 

Good day, folks. I bet you’re saying to yourself, “Totsy’s only here today on account of being bored and whatnot.” Well, you’ve pretty much hit the nail dead center on the head. You may also be asking yourself, “Did Totsy ever get her laptop back or will I have to buy her a new one?” Your last question may be, “What the heck happened to Beatrice’s comics? Who does she think she is, giving us a teaser and taking away the tickle?” Well, I appreciate your passion and all. My sympathies and heart go out to you.

To address your first question, or rather, assumption, I am somewhat bored. To explain my brief absence and to sum up the answers to your inquiries, I was working in the studio as a co-lead to a Katy Perry song but after about 10 seconds or so, they called off the deal, asked me to leave. When I refused, I ended up in the hospital with a large imprint on my bottom in the shape of a shoe. I’m so utterly confused  why this all happened and not knowing has me off kilter and whatnot. Know what I mean? Such a request has been a real head-scratcher but I aim to get some answers to my whys and whatnots. You feel me?

And yeah, I got my laptop back recently. I’ll resume with Beatrice on Sunday.

Mixed Emotions

Mixed Emotions

I’m having technical issues, folks. My laptop’s been admitted to Computer Community Hospital, so this is serious. My other laptop, I had to order a battery for, so a friend let me borrow  this one. With all that filling your ear and whatnot, that means I have to pause on Sincerely, Beatrice ’cause I don’t have the same software for laying out the comics or for enhancing my photos. It was hard enough to post this. Just so you know, I didn’t borrow the computer to blog. I work using the computer, so this is kinda a necessity.

In the meantime, I don’t have a whole heck of a lot to say. I was, however, feeling a little Pollocky (Jackson Pollock, that is) over the weekend in painting this piece for someone.

Life Is Hard

Watercolor/Ink on paper

Watercolor/Ink on paper

It really is. All in a span of 10.5 minutes, this is my conclusion. Don’t try to tell me any different ’cause after I’ve spent time in the yard messing up stuff, I’m convinced. Instead of being out  there, in the first place, ’cause no Southern Belle should be working no yard, I should’ve been shopping or in Paris or even hanging out with Beatrice or somewhere in a corner talking to my damn self would’ve been better. But noooooo, I had to be Ms. Landscaper.

In the second place, the fella I called should’ve come like he said he would. Didn’t call, text or give me no kinda holler back. Well, I took it upon myself last week to get one of those machines that trims the hedges since he wasn’t interested in making money.  Call me Jason ’cause I was handling them bushes, okay? Then! In all of 5.5 minutes, I, Ms. Self-Proclaimed Landscaper, cut right into the extension cord. How it got wrapped in the blade, well, if I knew I could’ve prevented it, okay?

Well, I go off to the hardware store to purchase another. I had somebody doing some work on my AC who volunteered to fix the damaged cord. Said to take the new one back but I figure there would be times where I could be trimming and Little Totsy could blow the debris from the walk and driveway. Okay. I keep it. He fixes the other. I go to trimming with the new cord. I’m trimming away, real delighted with myself for using this new machine ever, and next thing I know, within 5 minutes, which adds up to the 10.5, the same thing happens. And I was so careful that time. I thought so. I swear to you the cord was behind me and it got cut anyway.

Now, I know you’re thinking these very relevant questions, Is Totsy into the cord buying business? If so, how will she ever make a profit? You’re probably also thinking, I’d never let that dufus use my stuff. Why won’t she sit down somewhere and paint? Well, I’ve been having the same thoughts and now that I’m safely tucked inside the house, I’m due a serious nap. I’ll answer those questions at a later time.

Christ’s Love for Women

Originally posted on See, there's this thing called biology...:

humilityA few years ago somebody decided we needed a politically correct bible that
was more inclusive and used gender neutral pronouns. My horrified response
was a bit amusing coming from a former feminist. There is so much deception woven in
between that alleged desire for biblical inclusiveness, that I quite literally panicked.
So often, what we seek, we destroy. A gender neutral bible, rather then lifting women up,
seeks to erase us entirely, to separate us from Christ’s love, to deny the miraculous
nature of the bible.

I do not care what atheists say, what feminists say, even what some Christian men try to say,
from the very first chapter of the bible to the very end, God declares His steadfast love for women.
We are one of His first gifts to the world. However, it would not surprise me at all if Adam woke up in the garden, scratched his…

View original 899 more words

The Wild, Wild South

"You Want This" Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

“You Want This” Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

It’s getting crazy down here, folks. Not only is it about to get hot down south but on July 1st, folk will be able to carry a gun anywhere they want. To school. The grocery store. To church. You name it, we can take it.

In addition, where I’m at, we’ve long time had a Stand Your Ground law in place. You know what that means. Sitting right above Florida, with George Zimmerman stalking about, there’re gonna be some gun-toting fools around here just like him.

You see, our governor is for death, not life. He rejected legalizing medical marijuana for children who have multiple seizures per day. Put a big, red X on the bill the very day those parents were begging and begging for their children to have some quality of life. And you know what happened today? A husband cut the fool ’cause his wife filed for divorce Monday. He wasn’t having no wife of his upping and leaving his fool self, so he saw fit to load up and go after her. She’s the Assistant D.A., okay? Know what happened next? He took a gun to himself, like his twin spirit did the other day.

Do understand, if you’ve got an ounce of sense, you can pretend you’ve got two and get a gun permit. What’s gonna happen on Black Friday? Or when that road-rager is bumped in traffic on a day he’s just been fired? Or when I’m cleaning house and turn up the volume on my stereo ’cause I’m so happy…

The Very Bad, Worst Thing of All

totsymae1011:

A post that makes you go hmmm….

Originally posted on See, there's this thing called biology...:

choclate

I often think of unrequited love as being the most awful thing ever, all that angst and misery,
the drowning of sorrows in chocolate ice cream, like a rather futile attempt to sweeten the
bitterness. When it comes to the human capacity for melodrama
nothing is more inspiring than, “he loves me, he loves me not.” Girls tend to sink into it more,
eating everything in the refrigerator, downing boxes of wine, sub-texting passive/ aggressive
diddies on face book. Or, for a more elegant touch, throwing all his clothes out on
the front lawn and setting them on fire.

Men are no slouches in the melodrama department either, although they tend to perceive themselves
as more dignified in their despair, as if it is not quite as pathetic to be downing shots of whiskey
and texting your alleged indifference to random strangers on the internet.

Unrequited love however, is nothing but…

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On Being Grateful

Watercolor on paper

Watercolor on paper

You won’t believe how ecstatically ecstatic I am. No, I didn’t get picked up by a literary agent…Uh uh. Neither have I won the lottery or the showcase on The Price is Right…Okay, nevermind guessing…I’m off for the next week and a half. I’m gonna kick my heels up, throw my shoes out the window and I hope I don’t hit anybody in the process.

I know you wish you were me right now. Or maybe not. I’m just glad to be me right now. I couldn’t say that 100% an hour ago but I’m cool now. I hear the fish tank running, the clock ticking, and birds chirping outside my window. It gets no better than that, folks. Well, it does, a whole lot better in fact, but I’m gonna be grateful for what I got going now, okay?

Like, I could be stuck on the side of the highway with a flat tire while 18-wheelers have my ride trembling as they whiz past. Or I could be lost in the woods. Why I would be in the woods, I don’t know but it happens to folks, okay? Or, I could be choking like crazy from scarfing down that veggie pizza I just ate but all I can say is all praises to a good slice of pizza that hit the right spot, you feel me?

Well folk, I ain’t gonna keep rubbing my off time in your face. If you gotta punch the clock come Monday morning, be glad for the hand you have to punch it with, okay?

 

 

The Problem with Not Nipping It in the Bud

Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Folks, maybe you couldn’t rightly tell but I’m from the south. That simply means that I’m genteel, polite and I, occasionally, display a smile at the absurd.

I said all that to say this. I think I’ve generated myself a slight problem of sorts, on account of being so southernly nice. There’s this woman who finds me so interesting, I reckon. she’s always trying to be up and inside of my business. Look, I’m just regular, plain ole ordinary folk much like yourself, so I haven’t quite figured out why she needs to know the whys and whatnots of me taking a day off. I don’t be off much at all in the first place but it seems she feels the need to know the details of my absence.

Instead of me saying, “If you don’t get your life, I’m gonna carve you a new one,” I figured with her being so smart, being a problem-solver and all, she’d take the social cue of me staring at her without so much as a blink, and go on ’bout her nosey business. But nooooo. She stares, waiting for a response as if she’s the check signer.

Now, why I’m off has no affect on what she’s gotta do. What I absolutely loathe is folk wanting to know the whys and whats on account of being a no count busy body. They have no use for the information other than wanting to know. I was thinking to put out my business in the form of a magazine and have her subscribe for $500 a month. That way we’ll both know if what I have going on is valuable enough for her to pay for. I’d be required to disclose every why and whatnot, in that case. Maybe we could even do lunch and I’d talk about myself in the third person, saying stuff like, “She didn’t come to work ’cause her jeans  were so tight, she couldn’t walk,” or “She hurt herself twerking at a Miley Cyrus concert.  Pulled a hamstring like you wouldn’t believe.” 

How do you gently keep folk outta your business? Or is gentle not a term you’d use to describe how you go about it?

Reconsidering Snowbound Food Items

Watercolor on paper - Copyright 2014 Totsymae

Watercolor on paper – Copyright 2014 Totsymae

I was definitely starting to feel claustrophobic with being stuck in the house on account of the snow. That’s how we do it down south. We stay tucked in after stocking up on eggs, milk and bread. I never understood why these three grocery items were so significant. I’m lactose intolerant, so milk wouldn’t be a good thing for me. I don’t eat bread all that much ’cause I can do without the carbs and eggs, well, we know what happens when eggs gets settled in real good in the bottom of your belly.

I just wouldn’t wanna be snowbound with folk who’ve filled themselves up with eggs. The common sense thing to me is to leave them in the store. I understand that folk get tired and angry with one another after being locked in together for so many days. Thus, may I suggest eggs may be the reason why? The answer is so simple when considering the little things ’cause little things really do mean a lot in this case. Know what I mean?

Never do I hear that stores are running outta breath mints or toothpaste. Kinda mind-blowing, if you ask me but since you didn’t…