I don’t know if you wonder too but I wonder about retired folk. Like, my aunt sends emails and two minutes later, she calls to see if I checked it. If you become her friend on Facebook, be prepared to get a ton of invites to play games.
One thing you can count on from retirees, they know about every piece of news going on in the world. I don’t have to watch it on TV. All I gotta do is call my mama and she’ll tell you not only what’s happening downtown and across town, she can tell you what’s happening across the street and forecast what’s gonna happen tomorrow. I’m telling you folks, a psychic’s got nothing on folk who don’t have full-time employment and who’s been living in this world for some time.
When my mama retired, she kept talking about cashing in on her social security. She couldn’t wait, folks. I’ve never seen anybody so eager to get old. This year, she tells me she’s having a medicare party. I said, “WHAT?!” She said real calmly, “That’s right. A medicare party.” A few weeks prior, she kept saying, “Honey, I’ll be 65 this year.” She’s been saying it for about a year, actually. I got so tired of her saying it, I finally told her, “And you look every bit of it, plus some.” She goes, “NO, I DON’T! YOU KNOW THAT’S A LIE!”
Another thing about retired folk, they’re always talking about getting a job. For about eight years, that’s what my mama said and finally, she gets one, starting next month. Two of my aunts talked about it and I assume it’ll take them about 8 years too. My mama is obviously the trailblazer among them. They should give her a job party.
But oh, I can’t discount her other work and service to the community. She teaches line dancing at every senior center that’ll let her in. She’ll teach you too if you give her five minutes of your time. She doesn’t even have to know your name. Got legs, will line dance is her motto. Hell, if your battery’s good and charged on your wheelchair, she’ll work that out for you too. If there’s a will, there’s a damn way. Okay? She will set that iPod up and line dance the shit outta you.
I used to imagine I’d become a gardener when I get up in age. I’ve got some years before retirement but I can clearly see being a gardener’s not in the cards for me. I could, however, see myself in a white Kung Fu get-up, trying to kickbox or some other foolishness that would land me on my ass. In the meantime, there’s no hurry to rush anything.