Life Is Hard

Watercolor/Ink on paper

Watercolor/Ink on paper

It really is. All in a span of 10.5 minutes, this is my conclusion. Don’t try to tell me any different ’cause after I’ve spent time in the yard messing up stuff, I’m convinced. Instead of being out  there, in the first place, ’cause no Southern Belle should be working no yard, I should’ve been shopping or in Paris or even hanging out with Beatrice or somewhere in a corner talking to my damn self would’ve been better. But noooooo, I had to be Ms. Landscaper.

In the second place, the fella I called should’ve come like he said he would. Didn’t call, text or give me no kinda holler back. Well, I took it upon myself last week to get one of those machines that trims the hedges since he wasn’t interested in making money.  Call me Jason ’cause I was handling them bushes, okay? Then! In all of 5.5 minutes, I, Ms. Self-Proclaimed Landscaper, cut right into the extension cord. How it got wrapped in the blade, well, if I knew I could’ve prevented it, okay?

Well, I go off to the hardware store to purchase another. I had somebody doing some work on my AC who volunteered to fix the damaged cord. Said to take the new one back but I figure there would be times where I could be trimming and Little Totsy could blow the debris from the walk and driveway. Okay. I keep it. He fixes the other. I go to trimming with the new cord. I’m trimming away, real delighted with myself for using this new machine ever, and next thing I know, within 5 minutes, which adds up to the 10.5, the same thing happens. And I was so careful that time. I thought so. I swear to you the cord was behind me and it got cut anyway.

Now, I know you’re thinking these very relevant questions, Is Totsy into the cord buying business? If so, how will she ever make a profit? You’re probably also thinking, I’d never let that dufus use my stuff. Why won’t she sit down somewhere and paint? Well, I’ve been having the same thoughts and now that I’m safely tucked inside the house, I’m due a serious nap. I’ll answer those questions at a later time.

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25 thoughts on “Life Is Hard

  1. Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in a while, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.
    - Muir quoted by Samuel Hall Young in Alaska Days with John Muir (1915) chapter 7

    You’re probably gonna cut the new cord too so get some electrical tape and learn how to splice the cord together. When I was a kid we used hand/arm powered hedge clippers. I would cut 150 feet of cherry hedge around the house. My parents gave me 75 cents for the effort. I learned a lot from that – next time father can cut the friggin’ hedges.

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    • A week in the woods huh? Well, I did my time with nature in the reserve. For 6 years, I spent time with her and she and I didn’t do well at dark time. The porta potty just wasn’t all that accommodating to a Southern Belle as myself, and neither was taking a shower.

      Seems like I do need to learn that skill ’cause I be darn if I didn’t almost do it a third time. As for you, 75 cents is a lotta change for a youngun. I didn’t get paid for learning this skill.

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  2. LOL, too funny. I once broke our dishwasher, ripped the mirror off my car, and severed an extension cord. My husband came home and I was like, “fix it all!” Naturally he tried to complain and asked, “is that what women do, break things and men exist just to fix them?”

    Well, yes, yes it is. I’m pretty sure that’s the entire point of your existence :)

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    • Oh my, that’s a lotta damage. I don’t reckon there’s a pill for women folk who break things and whatnot. Or men who complain about fixing the stuff we break….Maybe there’s a patch.

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  3. You know what’s on our mind, Lady, and your questions are spot on. But now we have to wait for your nap to be over to learn the answers? Dang. Even when you’re tired you knock my socks off with your humor.

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  4. Me and power tools were never on speaking terms. Looks like you have the same problem. I limit myself to pulling weeds or flowers or whatever looks like it needs pulling. Shrubs around my place can look a little like Einstein’s hair, but, hey, that’s Nature for you!

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  5. You give a whole new meaning to “cut the cord already!” LOL At least you laughed at yourself, albeit after. That always helps. :) I love those hedge trimmer doohickeys! Makes me feel like some nature artist.

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