It’s the Best of Times, It’s the Worst of Times

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Hello, Lovelies. I’m beside myself and not because I put on 10 pounds hanging out with Francisco, Francois or whatever his name was. You see, on my way from Jamaica, I swung by Brazil and not by a tree limb, okay? Though, it may as well have been because the seat was so cheap, it was one bumpy ride, people. You don’t want to know what I had to go through to get that seat or what I went through to keep it. Trust moi, Francois will be hearing from my TV lawyer as soon as I dial this 1-800 number.

As you can see, I’m not wearing black to pay tribute to the end of Robin Thicke’s marriage. And I’m not here to joke about this separation. I say separation because they could reunite. I hope so but we know how separations go in Hollywood, don’t we? I’m not sure what disintegrated that relationship but Hollywood is ripe soil for the breakdown of marriages. It’s really sad. So much plastic flesh to be had, you just can’t settle on one tush or bush, alright?  In some cases, marriages do survive. They really do. Clap, clap. 

Gabrielle, as in Union, I really am enjoying Being Mary JaneAfter all these years, you’ve proven to me that you can act. Now, I understand from a reliable source the show’s not doing well, which surprises me. Anything that sustains my attention is usually a hit because I’m one chick on the move, alright? I do hope the show returns for a second season and was glad you decided against turkey basting that stolen sperm. Plus, you’ve got that pre-nup you insist on signing with Dwayne Wade, which I don’t think to be a smart move if you don’t show up after this season. Marriages tend to tense up when one spouse isn’t working, even in Hollywood, okay? Anyway, rah rah to your breakthrough role, as far as I’m concerned. You’re still pretty to me, girlfriend. Just thought I’d throw that in.  Ahem.

Before I depart and leave you drenched in tears, I want to announce that I’m starring in a new comic series here on the blog this summer. Naturally, I’m excited that Totsy’s seen the light of my acting abilities. While she’s run into a creative speed bump, we know this series will start the first day of summer, for 8 weeks. Once a week, that is. Look out for the comic book trailer in the coming weeks. The fall line-up brings you Totsymae Presents, premiering 5 shows. In the meantime, enjoy the best and worst of Hollywood, with me, Beatrice from Apartment 7B. Propping feet on coffee table while dipping Oreo cookie in milk.

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17 thoughts on “It’s the Best of Times, It’s the Worst of Times

  1. Now, Honey, about Robin Thicke and his wife, meh! How about Katy Perry and John whatever his last name is. The goopy little pale guy sho sings all those wimpy feminist songs? Now that’s a tragedy. Katy is such a good hearted woman in love with all those good timing men. It’s sad really.

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    • Yes, I know about Katy. She’s not too bright in choosing men. I think she and Jennifer Aniston are in the same club. They both had John. Katy likes bad boys after being raised in the church. She can’t change those men, however. May need to get with someone who’s evenly yoked.

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  2. I have to come to you for all the scoop, thankfully you have it. See I didn’t know about Robin, that is sad but maybe this will bring a new swag to his music. I love Ms. Union, she has the chops. I am with you though on the pre-nup.

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    • Yes, the gossip rags are all over Robin and Paula’s break-up. It’s unfortunate they can’t go through this privately. I hope it doesn’t turn ugly either, with the media feeding into it. And then, there’s the baby…

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