I met a woman some weeks ago who works for a funeral parlor. Her world was turned slightly upside down on account of not receiving a pair of pajamas for her mama’s 80th birthday. I could expect this from a child but not a woman of fifty-something years.
That she worked in a funeral parlor got me to thinking if I ever worked in one, which would never happen on my watch, but if in the next, if there is one, and I was wearing a different watch with a different mindset that landed me to get paychecks from a funeral parlor, I’d kinda be humbled to damn near silence while I’m living.
Imagine the life gone clean outta you and you got somebody like, say me, and I had to make you ready for burial. I wanna think I’d be nice to you but say if you were bitching at me the way that woman was, through something I had no control over, I might be slightly inclined to thump you on the head or some other silliness. Though I think what would stop me is the fact that I’d end up getting that thump back come my time to get dressed to the nines to be taken under.
Folk are most vulnerable when they’re dead. I know. They have no idea that, say that sicko who’s forty-something and living in his mama’s basement, is fondling them or some other nasty behavior.
I don’t like being vulnerable but in this case, I’ve got no choice. Therefore, while I might entertain the thought of something wickedly silly, I wouldn’t thump you upside the head or paint you up to look like Bozo the Clown. More than likely, if I knew you really well and you were a constant bitcher or existed in some other unfortunate way, I’d feel sorry that you left the world bitching over nonsense. I’ll also pray for your safe return, should you be so fortunate to have multiple lives like the Buddhists, and hope I don’t run into you again. I refuse to give you countless times to show your ass on me. Being that I don’t know in which life you’ll finally get it right, I’ll pass you on to somebody who’s more deserving than me.
Well, Dearly Beloveds, thank you so much for your time. Be extra nice to folks today. Even if it kills you.