You know I stopped accepting blog awards awhile back, right? Well, I was sitting around here thinking of some awards since I don’t have much else to talk about. Now, these awards don’t have any criteria or rules whatsoever. You simply give them out and set your own rules, which I personally tend to do. I have a brief description, just so we can be real clear about who’s deserving of what.
Ladies and gentleman folks, The Totsymae Foundation (currently operating as bootleg and proud) presents you with awards to share among your blogging buddies…
Ms. Stay -At-Home Mama Blogger – She really should be doing the laundry and cooking dinner but she’s not interested. One fine day, she discovered the world of blogging and she became instantly hooked. She talks about her hubby and kids all the time and belongs to every social network related to folk just like her.
oooOOOooo
I’ll Chew and Spit You Out Blogger - This blogger lives up to their name. They drink a lotta caffeine and will cuss you the hell out. They’re virtual agitators and will go on other blogs to bitch about topics they only have surface knowledge of and don’t wear underwear.
oooOOOooo
Retired and Looking for Trouble Blogger – This blogger is blogging ’cause their spouse is tired of him scratching his balls in the kichen while she’s cooking.
oooOOOooo
Mr or Ms Freshly Pressed Blogger – After two months, this blogger is freshly pressed for three straight weeks and now writes about what others can do to become freshly pressed. This instant virtual fame causes them to lose sleep at night ’cause they’re thinking about that bestseller they can’t seem to finish.
oooOOOooo
I’ll Catch You When I Can Blogger - This blogger pretends like they’re so busy, they don’t have time for you. In reality, they’re going through shit you wouldn’t believe and wouldn’t want to know about. They will often rush to the keyboard breathless and type out some nonsense about being so busy and may have a touch of ADD.
oooOOOooo
I’ve Found My Life Calling Blogger – Something dramatic just happened to this blogger and, often a woman, she has the need to talk about it to folk who don’t know her. She often rambles about not having a theme for her blog and asks a lotta questions to the three folk who are following her.
oooOOO000
This Tastes Better Than it Looks Blogger - This blogger is always trying to cook. Has the nerve to take photos and display them too. She watches the Food Network religiously ’cause it’s the ‘in’ thing. Deep down she knows her cooking skills will never measure up but she’s always wanted attention, so here she is.
Know any of these folk? Pass it on…
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Oh my gosh – laughing hysterically!
I say something funny? (hehehe)
Oh my God, it is so hilarious!!
See what happens when boredom kicks in?
Oh, I can see them in my followers’ list! These are the tops, Tots! xxx
Who are they? Inquiring minds wanna know.
Retired and FOUND Trouble–that’s me! Art work is lovely and a hoot, Tots!
Thank you. I’m not retired but probably looking for trouble and should be working on my novel.
Great satire. I read a post by a fellow that got freshly pressed and he related what a nightmare it was to make reply comments on his post let alone the obligatory blog visits to commenters’ blogs . It took him months and was a real curse as that consumed all his time and prohibited him from creating new posts regularly.
Sounds like a big job. I’d like to be freshly pressed with a book deal.
I’d like to introduce “The Closeted Blogger Award.” My family doesn’t know I have a blog, but I think they’re getting suspicious. Usually these type of bloggers just want a little slice of creative freedom and a half hour of privacy a day!
Great post.
Denmother
Are you talking about them? You’d better disguise yourself in their presence/
haha, The Freshly Pressed blogger. Good stuff.
Thank you. This tickled me even.
I love these new categorías, especially the one for Stay at Home mama bloggers, who think they are raising God’s gift, plasteing their offspring’s angelic face all over their site, and want you to know just how special their kids are. To be honest, it’s hard to place a lot of stock in these awards when just about anyone can create one.
I used to think these award came from some blogging special place. Not that those who create them aren’t special. I mean, I just created some.
These are great awards. The pictures are even better. I especially like the no obligations attached aspect. Not sure I’d want to get one though.
Aw, come on. Take one.
Glad you like.
Oh my, toddling off now to hang my head shamefully. Some of them might be me some of the time if not all the time. Nevertheless, I want one of them for no other reason than the art work is to die for. All of them are wonderful but,
I am now the first awarded by your foundation of the :
I have found my life calling blogger
If I haven’t earned it (maybe I have who knows) I want it any dang way, thank you very much.
I probably should’ve added I’ve Known My Life Calling but Now I’m Trying to do Something About It Blogger. That would be me.
I find it kinda interesting what brings folk to blogging. Glad you like the artwork.
All worthy Awards with no doubt an abundance of candidates in the wings. I’ll just have to let you know, That I stopped scratching my balls in front of the wife when she’s in the kitchen cooking long, long ago. I can’t remember where I might have laid em.
Look in the lost and found.
OMGggggggggggggosh, I do love this, Tots. Haaaaaa.
“I’ll Catch You When I Can Blogger” What an asshole!
Xxxx LOVvvvvvvvvve.
Thank you, Kim.
No, your comment did get spammed and how dare they even think to put a diva there.
did my comment go to your spam?
Hahaha! Hilarious!
Yeah… Can I nominate myself for the Ms. Stay -At-Home Mama Blogger? except – minus the mama part? Thank god I don’t have kids, cause they’d all be starving to death by now. Gotta get over this addiction some how….
Hehehe! I’m the looking-for-trouble blogger talking all this….
Totally laughed out loud at these! Totsy! We are all thinking, “Is she talking about me?”
No, I had no one in mind. That wouldn’t be nice. Some are a mixture of me, actually.
Damn, Girl, I see myself in every one of these! Scary! (Funny, but scary!)
You’re too funny.
*giggles* When I first started blogging, I felt like my blog was naked without all the awards. Now I would begrudge the real estate, so even if I don’t have the sweetest squirrelly badge, it’s all good.
Nice artwork, as always, Totsy.
I didn’t know anything about them until I got one. Then, I thought it came from a Blogger Academy Awards kinda place. Shows how much I knew,
Thank you.
Your funniest blog post yet Totsy! Very clever, honest and true!
Tweeting this …
Thanks for tweeting…Glad you had a few laughs.
Well, when are you going to give out those awards? I know I am up for one, or two, or three!
Which one, two or three should you be the first reciient of?
Oh my God, I’m laughing so hard I’ve got tears. As a food blogger, I guess I fall under This Tastes Better than it Looks though, in my defense, I also post about gardening. This gives me ample opportunity to take lots of photos of my flowers and veggies that no one really cares about either. Thanks for the laugh!
Oh, Totsy, you are one fabulous chick! These are absolutely fantastic, I laughed at every one. Still trying to figure out which I should accept or give away. Thanks, Girl!