“Beatrice on the Radio” Copyright 2013 Totsymae
Yes, that’s what he asked me when I opened the call line. You see, I’ve taken to running a little operation in my apartment. A radio station, that is. Naturally, you never know who’s listening. In this case, when asked what I was wearing, I knew it was going to be a very long evening. I should’ve expected as much , with it being a love and all-things-Hollywood kind of radio station. However! With this being my first time on the Night Train, I didn’t think anyone was listening besides myself.
Now, I know you’re wondering why in the world am I running a radio station from Apartment 7B. Actually, I’m gearing up for an appearance on Kathie Lee and Hoda’s show. As you can see, I have my wine glass in hand to practice drinking right along with them. I sincerely believe it’s the wine that makes Kathie Lee talk so loud and what causes Hoda to laugh for no apparent reason. Therefore, I need to be able to fit on the set some kind of way. Not that I’ve gotten the official invite yet but I feel that I’m on the radar. Besides, why wouldn’t I be?
I have a couple of sponsors for my station, by the way. One makes organic dog food from her apartment and the other chick is a fisherman. Don’t EVEN ask. They pay, I say okay. You feel me?
Do trust that it’s very rare I’m at a loss for words. VERY. Though, I was stumped when this heavy breather posed such a question. As you can see, I was fully dressed from head to breast. But because I was in my own element, well, let’s say I was quite comfortable. Sebastian was coming over later and…
Oh, I never mentioned Sebastian? You’re smart and savvy enough to know he definitely isn’t my 75-year old pastor at the church. Okay? Catch me chatting it up with Big Mouth and Silly, I mean Kathie Lee and Hoda, to hear all about Sebastian. As for the unseemly caller, I?surmised he has a fettish for cotton panties.
Yours Truly and Ruling Hollywood Gossip,
Beatrice from Apt. 7B
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Bernice, you do run a bit on the wild side. But the cotton panties are always a winner. (Okay, if they have days of the week printed on them, just make sure you’re wearing the Tuesday panties if it’s a Tuesday.)
I don’t even own cotton panties. Well, maybe a three pair but don’t tell anybody.
Beatrice, somehow I am certain you got the better of the caller. Cause he perhaps was in line for some verbal castration!
I hope I did. I have a feeling he’ll be calling again, however.
Hahaha, that’s funny about the wine and the Ladies!
I’ll be definitely tuning in to hear more about Sebastian. Don’t worry about that caller, you can handle him.
They drink the duration of the show. Strange how we’ve come to this.
Ah, if he calls back, just tell him you’re wearing a disgusted look on your face…
Have fun with Drunk and Drunker!
Advice well taken. Think I’ll have apple cider or some other none alcohol beverage. I’m feeling a little dizzy.
A long night with Sebastian coming over doesn’t sound like such a bad thing.
Looking forward to hearing more of your broadcast revelations.
No, it was a real good thing.
I shall definitely keep you posted.
I so dislike mouth breathers, suspect though you got the better of him once you realized he wasn’t calling in for the latest smooth jam or Hollywood chat.
I think I took care of him.