Become a surrogate mother. Even if you tied and burned your tubes, this can be accomplished if you’ve got a sales background with a sweet as pie disposition. All you have to do is convince somebody else to have the baby. Make sure you have business cards and a nice letterhead to sell yourself. Wear a suit but not a gray or black one. Try neutral?colors, like?a soft beige and nothing tight-fitting, please.?Sorry men folk, this is a woman type business.
Sell windshield wipers. This is a very overlooked opportunity, folks. Who the hell thinks about replacing windshield wipers until they’re needed? You can grab lotsa business on a Saturday at your local WalMart. However, don’t go to any African-American owned beauty salon where you’ll also see a parking lot fulla cars ’cause all the money’s going toward hair weaves and laced wigs. Just giving you the heads up beforehand. Okay?
Become a junk mail “get-rid of” business owner. I guarantee you nobody else is doing this as a business. Just think of the time you can save other folk. And it’s recession-proof! Imagine the repeat customers you’ll have with all the shit folk get in the mail everyday. You’ll also be able to make money on the back end by recycling the junk mail.? I promise you can make a stash of cash right in your own neighborhood.
Make unfamous folks famous. If reality TV can do it, why can’t you? Start an online rag magazine. Start with your friends and family. Take photos and tell all their business. You don’t want to take regular ole photos of regular ole folks, however. You’ve gotta catch them when they think they’re looking hot. Nobody wants to read about plain folk doing their laundry or other such nothings. Have interviews and guest spots called Famous Nobodys and I guarantee you that everybody will think they’re somebody, same as reality TV. Now, I can’t promise you won’t get yourself sued. It is a high-risk business but damn worth the effort if you can make it work.
Start a professional kissing school. You can quit your day job with this one. Now, I’ve never heard anybody say they’re a bad kisser. That just doesn’t happen. Though, folk know they can’t be all that good at it when they see their partner wet around the mouth afterwards. I don’t know how that happens but it does. Some folk need help. If you’re more like a licker than a kisser, you can’t be the one opening up this here school. Okay? Your ass gonna need to enroll in some recurring sessions so you can get this down to a science. Alright?