“Cosmo Girl No. 3″ Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae
- You shop at WalMart every three months or so and tell folk you don’t shop there. However, your ass will swing by the dollar store or somewhere of that nature instead. In fact, not only are you a wanna-be bourgeois folk, you’re a liar and can’t be trusted. Let’s be real. WalMart’s got cheap shit and you don’t give a damn about where the products are made. Matter of fact, you’re real good about saying, “All I bought was some Windex,” as if buying one thing discounts shopping there at all.
- You’re a pretty good dresser but most of the underwear and socks you have in your drawer are raggedy. This is the worst of pretentious folk and they’re stingy as hell. You can usually detect these folk spot on ’cause generally, they talk too much, can never keep up with their car keys and always wanna take two plates home after a family function or office party.
- You’re from the south and go live somewhere else and try to act like you’re from everywhere but. If you pay good enough attention, you’ll pick up the dialect or hear some southern lingo at a critical time. This typically happens when everyone is sitting around drinking or getting high. Be careful if you’re one of these type of wanna-bes. Folks are waiting for you to slip up and if I’m in a foul mood and don’t like you, I just might be the one. I won’t even lie to you.
- You try to act like you lifted yourself by your own bootstraps to get to comeuppance status or however you see yourself in the world. Stop lying. Nobody does it alone. Somebody had to give your ass something, whether that was a good word, a meal or something to help you meet your goals. Shit, even if you slept with somebody, you still got something, okay? You, nor anybody else, are so great and grand that you did it alone. These are selfish grandstanders who are highly proficient with cheating on their taxes, will show up at other folk houses around mealtime all innocent and shit and eat dried-out peaches for late-night snacks. They are some cheap asses, okay?
- You have a greater financial investment in your outer-self than your interior. If you’re not cute on the inside, all the hairweave and tummy-tucks and whatnots won’t do it for you either. These are the saddest of the Wanna-Bes ’cause there’s little intervention for them and Dr Phil can’t do it alone, which he’s been pissing me off of late, just so you know. Anyway, these folk have little self-realization and think no one can see that. They’re always trying to hip somebody onto something without extending in great detail ’cause they haven’t figured the shit out themselves. It’s kinda hard to have empathy for these folk ’cause they’re loud, are constantly in the mirror and will come to you house, specifically, to steal all of your decorating ideas.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Reblogged this on The ObamaCrat.Com™ and commented:
Excuse me reblogging Twin, I know you hate us rebloggers, but this is too good not to reblog.
Hey, there! I missed you, Twin.
Thanks for the reblog.
I’ve been right here my Twin….doing what I do and just being me….
Okay. I just tried to visit your page and it comes up blank. It’s happened before with your site. I shall try again tomorrow.
I am on my site right now, does not come up blank for me.
I could tell this was your blog just from the title. As usual your perception of human nature is spot on and funny. To add a little holiday spirit to your consumer bourgeoisie thesis I recommend you google images for “white trash gingerbread house.”
I am so glad I have not invited any of them to the Christmas party
You nailed this one, Tots <3 xxx
Oh, and the painting is mesmerizing. She is wonderful.
I like the painting also.
Won’t be coming to my party either, Red. They can stay home with their Windex.
Glad you like the painting.
I ain’t gots none of these eccentricities. Still groovin’ cool and smooth.
Good, Carl. You’d be a welcomed guest at any Christmas this year.
First let me say, love the painting! Beautiful colors and well just beautiful.
As to the rest, nailed it as Red said. I know those people, more of them than I would like.
Thanks, Valentine. Maybe you, Red and me can have our own party.
Totsy, I will confess that I had to read this post twice. This because, much as I tried, I was too mesmerized with the beautiful art to concentrate on the words. Lady, you have outdone yourself! This piece is stunning! If this is what wannabee bourgeois looks like, sign me on! And yes, I shop at Walmart! hee hee! You had me chuckling on this dark, gray morning!
I’m like that painting when I’m in Diva-itis mode but you know, still keeping it real. Glad to see I got a chuckle outta you.
I think I’m guilty. I refuse to shop at Walmart and won’t even walk in the door unless forced, but I shop at Target. That’s probably just the same. But I do toss out my raggedy underwear. My grandma always told me if I wore it, I’d get in an accident and then be embarrassed at the hospital when the nurses saw it.
I was at Target yesterday. They let me come ’cause I’ve got a card and all.
I wasn’t in there for underwear but they did have some pretty ones in there. They’d be glad to know you toss yours out and considered purchasing with them. Your grandma was right too.
I’ve never been inside a Walmart in my life. I don’t think we have them anywhere near where I live. Don’t get me wrong. I’d go to one if we had one. We are getting a Target and I’m excited because I’ve never been in one of those either. I don’t understand the “Dollar Store” and I have been in one. Things don’t cost a dollar in them either. But I don’t like the places because I have plenty of junk all on my own.
I got where ever I am all by myself. Oh, and it helps to have a husband who told me to go ahead and retire because I’ve worked hard long enough. If I’m around my Oklahoma relatives long enough, I start talking sort of Southern and also start penning Country Western songs. Okay, I have two titles so far. “You Said You Were Jogging But You Were Just Running Around” and “Sorry Ass Beer”. I can’t give you any more because of trademark violations and such but they are good ones.
Both my husband and I throw out our raggedy ass underwear. And that girl in your painting never wore raggedy ass underwear in her life. I used to. And I used to not even know the difference.
I like Target okay. Don’t go there all that often but it’ll do.
You need to do that song on your blog so we can send you on one of those TV talent shows.
Love the down to earth message and image!
Thank you. That Diva painting was me on a good day. I can’t speak for today.
I know those people and they just aren’t real. You said it well, Totsy, and it needed to be said!
These are funny folk and they don’t know how much I laugh at them on the inside. The other part of that is they take away time you just can’t get back.
What about if you shop mostly at thrift shops and good will stores for your clothes? I thought that made you eco-friendly and, well, thrifty. Does it make me, you know…?
Wait a minute — that’s me!
Totsy, that’s not me and I will tell you why. I refuse to shop at Walmart and don’t. Never will. Also, I live in California but am proud as anything of my New York roots. I love when people I meet immediately know I’m a New Yawker based on my accent which is still strong after all these years. But, you make a good point. There are plenty of people like that. Yep, you hit the nail on the head!