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I know. Outside the obvious, you think I couldn’t possibly have anything in common with her but we, my folks, are sisters in the rough. We’ve been down in the trenches and know the deal. Now, it’s not something we readily admit. It’s just too hard.
You see, I caught the recorded version of the last presidential debate on Tuesday. I don’t know about you but I saw a different Mittens Romney. If I squinted my eye and held my head just so, I’d have thought there was only one man in that debate. I have to give Mittens his props, folks. I feel kinda on the dumb side when I can’t contribute to a conversation, which is a very humbling experience. I imagine this was the case for Mittens. And typically, I shut up when I don’t know what I’m talking about but I don’t reckon that works well in a debate. Though, you wanna know what I have in common with Annie, not a summarization of the debate. So, let me lay it out.
Now, this won’t embarrass Then Husband should he happen upon this post. He’s come full circle with the realization that he sucked at playing basketball. I pray to the Most High that he’s finally given up. Be patient now, ’cause this story’s gonna come full circle too, okay?
See, it was when he was stationed in Texas and in the army that he called himself gonna join up with the little team his company had. They competed against other companies and it was a nice little outing for our young selves with no money. Of course, that’s not the commonality between Annie and me. Stay on the ride and we’ll get to my destination, alright?
Well, I’d haul Mr Boy, who was then a baby, to the game to watch his daddy play. Watching his daddy play didn’t have the same effect on him as it did for me. There I’d be sitting in the stand and folk would get to groaning when a team member threw the ball to Then Husband. And to be honest, I’d go “Oh, shit” to my damn self. I just knew that ball wouldn’t be scoring points with his hands on it. Folk didn’t know Then Husband was mine and truth be told, I didn’t want them knowing either. Hell, he was out there making a spectacle of the whole damn family. I got to where I didn’t want to go to the games anymore but I kept going. You know, you can’t out and out tell your spouse he’d be better off watching the game than playing. Which brings me to Annie’s situation.
Was it just me who gathered that Mittens didn’t present himself as knowing anything about foreign policy? He totally brushed off that moderator’s what if question and not in a smoothe way. Same way Then Husband handled the basketball. I know Annie must’ve bit her lip and squirmed as much as I did in the stand when a question was thrown at her husband. You see, we know when our men don’t know shit. Or how to handle a ball, in my case. We just can’t say it out loud. We stand by them no matter if they keep putting their foot in their mouth or whether it seems they’re the only ones blindfolded on the basketball court.
You see the connection now?…I do declare, folks. I just had a beautiful thought…I think Annie and I could console one another if I let her take me shopping. I’d like that as much as she would.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Oh yeh, been there too. Painful to watch. Very funny to read. Better watch out, Tots, next thing you’ll be making a sympathy vote for the other side …hehe
Yes, it is painful. Funny on reflection though. I don’t imagine Annie laughing, however. No way I’m going into sympathy mode. I’m going to vote today, matter of fact.
So our gal Ann is the spokesperson for stay at home moms? Well that’s a stretch. I bet she’s never made chocolate chip cookies like Hillary who was a working mom. What they don’t get is that there is no spokesperson for single working moms(and dads), the working poor, the folks Jesse Jackson describes as “the people who take the bus to work.” That is a pretty big chunk of America, you know , that 47% that does not contribute to society. Huh ?
She’s also a spokesperson for parents who’s sons and daughters serve in the military.
I heard Ann give a speech and she was struggling with finding the right words so she just started making some up. Unlike you, Tots, I wonder if she knew her husband tanked in foreign policy, given that “foreign” to her probably means shopping at Macys. Michelle Obama knows her stuff. I’m not so sure about Ann Romney…
I think she’s on that ‘stuff’. Or need to be.
She probably didn’t know anything different. She probably thinks he’s a genius.
Well she also held on to him so he would fall into the crowd during the hand shaking session. You know she did not want him crowd surfing, probably afraid one of ‘those people’ would pick his pocket, dang if that happened she couldn’t take you shopping.
lol!
She’s a bit too fragile to me. She can stick to shopping, as long as I’m buckled up in a seatbelt in her car. I’ll keep the pickpocketers at bay.
Unlike you, Ann is clueless most of the time. You almost feel sorry for her when listening…almost.
P.S. For whatever reason, when I get your posts now, they come from WordPress.com, not Totsymae. I may have deleted a few on account of not knowing.
Annie’s medicated half the time. This is too much for her.
I changed back to my old theme to see if the name pops up. Hopefully, that’s the cure. Thanks for letting me know.
Brilliant. Love this, Tots!
PS: Agree with SomerExpress. Not sure why your posts aren’t coming up with your name anymore.
You must identify.
I understand. The things we put up with, right?
I hope it was the most recent theme that caused the issue in the email. Or maybe there’s a conspiracy. Or…my blog’s got Romnesia.
Loved this, Tots! You had me going there for a moment. . ..
You wanna go shopping too?
You are a funny lady Totsie. I’d love to see Ann take you shopping, but I suspect you know a good deal more about foreign policy than either one of them.
I think those folk in other places would like me too. (wink, wink)
I can vividly now see the two of you shopping together. It would be like one of those bad B comedies, funny, but not really. It would start with the two of you accidentally getting into the same taxi, arguing about important dates, realizing you both are going to Macy’s and agreeing to ride together and split the fare. Somewhere in the middle you would fight over a blouse and get separated at the mall until you saved Ann from a group of rowdy rude Obama supporting teens. By the end you gals would be best friends who go to each others baby showers.
Sounds like a made-for-tv movie. I’d so have to keep her in check. I’m just not having it, even if she is spending money on me.
For sure those B movies are a waste. Hold out for a role with Berry or Hayek.
And here I was thinking you’d been eating pasta and tuna with Ann. Lord I would love to slap her so that she might wake up. Or say something sensible. She makes me crazy.
No, I’m not a bit pasta eater. Though, sounds like you’ve got on your boxing gloves over there and ready to have at it. Let her take me shopping first.
Totsy, I definitely see how much you have in common. Yes, you should go shopping with her, on her dime, and commiserate. Though keep in mind, she doesn’t drink, so enjoy your lemonades!
I don’t drink either, so we should get along fine…But I need to drink to be around her for a good length of time, maybe.
Wonderful picture of Mrs Romney. Wonder what she’s snarling about? Miss a feeding? You girls have fun shopping.
You could put a good spin on that with your drawings. Maybe Mittens’ got his hand on her backside.
Probably so, but the way Mittens has been changing positions lately, it could be on her front side, with poor Annie, just unable to keep up.
Totsymae at her very, very best… and that last line.. wonderful!!
Ha!
Hope you’re well across the pond, Cherry. I can call you Cherry or no? I remember we had some discussion about this before.