“The Planters” Acrylic on Board. Copyright. Totsymae 2012
I like most folk I meet, generally speaking. The problem usually comes when I get to know them. And yeah, I’ve got my own idiosyncracies about shit. I’m supposed to, right? Like, if I come to your house to eat, I would expect you to have a clean refrigerator. Don’t turn me off with shit from three months ago stanking up the place where food goes in your mouth. And please, don’t let it look like trash from the floor is sitting in there, okay? I’m not talking about you unless it’s you. I hope there aren’t two of you out there. Garbage in, garbage out, alright?
If you’re miserable, please don’t invite me to the party. I appreciate you thinking about me but don’t. I’ve got enough shit of my own. I don’t wanna be invited into a bitching match with you. You’ll probably win anyway since you’re so good at it. Personally, it’s too hot to be bothered with all that extraness. And I damn sure hope you’re not bitching with a nasty ass refrigerator at the house, okay? Matter of fact, why don’t you go ahead and call 911 on your own self to get the help you need or better yet, call roadside service so they can tow you to the junkyard.
And look, just ’cause you’ve got a mouth, don’t mean you’ve gotta use it all the time. Use it like butter. Sparingly. And I advise you to use your brain to think before opening it. That’s critical in life. Sometimes, as life happens, shit will come out regardless but don’t let it be most of the time. Consider stupid as one of those intangibles like love. It’s hard to take back once it’s out there.
Lastly, be kind to folk. Not just ’cause you want folk to be kind to you. That’s selfish. Do it ’cause it’s the right thing to do. You’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by showing kindness. If your burger wasn’t fixed right when you got it at the drive-thru, don’t cut a fool on those kids at the window whom you’re an example for. What’s wrong witchu? There’s no cause to get all hot and bothered over no burger, okay? You’re 10 seconds closer to death when you get worked up and even closer after tearing into that burger. Calm your ass down.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Tots, it sure does seem like there’s a lot of shit all around you, but then again, what better place to plant a few seeds?
If only you knew. It’s so much like being on a deserted island with no way out. Sometimes it’s akin to watching a horribly written comedy that makes you want to cry at the state of humanity. I kinda imagine it’s like working in congress?
Haha Totsy methings I will skirt around the tirade and say how fine I think the painting is
Mighty fine indeedy !
Ramadan is coming, so I had to say that before the fasting. Don’t expect any holier than thou stuff during those 3o days, however.
Thank you.
definitely won’t totsy… but keep the paintings coming !
Totsy, I am probably more relaxed about refrigerators than you are, but not by much. Most of the times, I don’t get into anybody else’s refrig and they don’t get into mine. I don’t like bitch sessions either but sometimes I do. I worked with a crazy woman for a while and we all complained bout the stuff she did. Still, it was bad when she finally got fired because we didn’t have anyone to complain about anymore. Yeah, I even tried to get her hired back. Don’t be mean to people. You are so right!
I’m no fanatic about cleaning but OMG, I’ve seen something live over here that I’ve never witnessed. Everything here is based on rumors and gossip. I think many of these people are mentally ill. I don’t know what that says for me. Probably not much.
There’s a time and a place for science experiments – it ain’t in the refrigerator, totally with you on that.
Being kind is something that can become a very nice habit, and it’s like planting fruit trees – sometimes it takes years to pay off, but you’re always glad you did.
You’d be amazed and definitely turned off at my villa mate’s refrigerator. Definitely something’s not right. A few things, even.
Yes, it always pays off to be kind and it really shouldn’t be difficult.
I have learned to utter a simple “good morning” or “hellodare” and never “Hiya doin”. They tell you how they’re doing. For an hour. Then it’s how the family is doing and their dopey sniveling grandkid, and the sink in the bathroom…..
You can ask, ‘How ya doin?’ and keep walking fast. Just make sure you’re not on crutches or nothing.
I have a vision of you taking a group of shrouded women to the drive through and trying to get dietarily appropriate burgers quick before Ramadan.
It’s got to be tough to stay cool in that heat!
I’m now trying to imagine what a drive-thru experience would be like with these women….I don’t know that we’d settle our orders within a day.
I never make the mistake of asking someone how they are doing. If you don’t give them an opening, they can’t take it! lol I loved the post. I’ve been on a little rant of my own about manners and etiquette. See ya.
I do ask sometimes. I want to know, especially in a work environment. I don’t want nobody going postal. Should it happen anyway, maybe my life would be spared.
Kindness to other folk, for me, includes not pestering them with my internal traumas and trying my best not to wear their ears down to nubs!
You can run but you can’t hide from being pestered over here, Granbee. I keep telling folk I don’t wanna be involved but eventually, here they come. I think I’m just gonna scream real loud and say something like, “This trick is trying to rape me!” real loud and they will be encouraged to leave me be.
–I’m totally w/ you on the “BEING KIND” thing.
I don’t get why people would want to be any other way…. xx Kiss
Me either. It’s not hard. At least, I didn’t think.
haha. Love the painting too!
Thank U.
Totsy, I think this would make a great commencement speech. Just the thing young people need to hear as they embark on their own lives in the adult world.
Can you imagine, me commencing to cussin folks out. Unforgettable and YouTubeable.
The selfishness of being kind, now this would make one entire entry wouldn’t it?
My refrigerator use to be a science experiment when my sons were at home; “no mom don’t throw that out it is for school next week”. “Is it food?” “No, it is for science class”. “Don’t they have someplace at school to store it?” “No, mom we have to keep it here and write down how it changes every day.” “Well okay but please mark it as a science project so your brother or father don’t eat it.”
The bottom shelf was finally reserved for my kids during their middle and high school days.
As to the bitchin’, oh come on my friend. Some times, just every once in a while the girlfriends have to get together with some Jambalaya and Red Wine talk about what is on their minds. From the world to their men to their work, they need to laugh, cry and yes even bitch. It is the best way to just be with our friends, isn’t it?
I’ve been overloaded with bitchin’ since being in The Kingdom. Seriously. I’m just not interested.
I do understand that, honestly. Perhaps it is the convention of what we call it. My circle of female friends don’t really ‘bitch’ when we get together. We do talk though and we talk about everything from books and theater to the world and life. So I don’t know if it is really bitchin’ we just call it that.
Excellent advice……
Thank you. I feel much better now.
Love the painting!
Thanks.
i promise to never write a ‘bitch’n Haiku
i always enjoy your post and paintings
David in Maine USA
I don’t imagine you will, David. That would change the rythym (?) of your writing and that’s not you. Your haikus are akin to soft music one hears upon entering a room.
My room (blog) is more like Jackson Pollock throwing house paint and whatever else on the canvas. Glad to hear you’re still enjoying it all.
LOL!! “Calm your ass down!” I love it!
Very good seeds to sow, Totsy! Kindness, manners, minimal bitchin’, and NO science experiments … isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? What’s happened to the world? That latter was a rhetorical question – no answer expected, although I have a feeling you have a good one! Love, love, love, that painting!
I don’t have a clue what’s happened. We’re in a pathetic state as human beings. If reincarnation happens, I wanna be an airplane. Yeah, I know that’s not what folk come back as typically but ask not want not.
Calm your ass down will now be my motto. Thanks Totsy! And I too love the painting.
You stopped me at the fridge. Instead of bitching, she should be cleaning that fridge. Hope she reads this.