I like most folk I meet, generally speaking. The problem usually comes when I get to know them. And yeah, I’ve got my own idiosyncracies about shit. I’m supposed to, right? Like, if I come to your house to eat, I would expect you to have a clean refrigerator. Don’t turn me off with shit from three months ago stanking up the place where food goes in your mouth. And please, don’t let it look like trash from the floor is sitting in there, okay? I’m not talking about you unless it’s you. I hope there aren’t two of you out there. Garbage in, garbage out, alright?
If you’re miserable, please don’t invite me to the party. I appreciate you thinking about me but don’t. I’ve got enough shit of my own. I don’t wanna be invited into a bitching match with you. You’ll probably win anyway since you’re so good at it. Personally, it’s too hot to be bothered with all that extraness. And I damn sure hope you’re not bitching with a nasty ass refrigerator at the house, okay? Matter of fact, why don’t you go ahead and call 911 on your own self to get the help you need or better yet, call roadside service so they can tow you to the junkyard.
And look, just ’cause you’ve got a mouth, don’t mean you’ve gotta use it all the time. Use it like butter. Sparingly. And I advise you to use your brain to think before opening it. That’s critical in life. Sometimes, as life happens, shit will come out regardless but don’t let it be most of the time. Consider stupid as one of those intangibles like love. It’s hard to take back once it’s out there.
Lastly, be kind to folk. Not just ’cause you want folk to be kind to you. That’s selfish. Do it ’cause it’s the right thing to do. You’ve got absolutely nothing to lose by showing kindness. If your burger wasn’t fixed right when you got it at the drive-thru, don’t cut a fool on those kids at the window whom you’re an example for. What’s wrong witchu? There’s no cause to get all hot and bothered over no burger, okay? You’re 10 seconds closer to death when you get worked up and even closer after tearing into that burger. Calm your ass down.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…