Lynette met Glynn by an unfortunate happenstance. In the produce section of Safeway, she was bending over to pick up a tomato that fell to the floor which caused her pants to rip clean down the middle seam. Damn rip was so loud, it seemed to call Glynn by name. He spun around, his country ass, talking about “Huh” and saw a slit of Lynette’s bloomers. Glynn knew she was special when she let out a squeak of surprise, talking about “Excuse me” on account that she thought she’d broke wind, then marched right on to the counter to pay for her goods.
Glynn followed her, leaving his shit in the cart for folk to put away. He was real good about doing that. He knew his ass wasn’t there to buy grocery no how. He was shopping for him a woman to lay in his lonely bed at nights to rub against.
“Hello, there.” He had a big ole country smile spread over his face. Had a nice set of teeth that stopped Lynette dead in her tracks. He’d followed her out to her car in a mad rush, damn near tripping over his own feet to get to her.
“Hello to you.” She said it like some loose woman, though she wasn’t. Just had been so long since any man had paid her any mind. Women folk could be real silly like that.
“I think you left this in the store.” Glynn handed Lynette a clear bag of tomatoes he hadn’t bothered paying for, he was in such a rush to keep his eye on them cotton drawers that caught his eye.
“Oh, thank you but I didn’t…” She thought better of running her mouth in a way that usually ran men folk off. This one here must’ve been checking me out, she thought, and all of a sudden felt a slight breeze hitting the crack of her ass. She giggled. “Thank you kindly.”
Glynn handed over the bag with his number in big writing, in case she had poor eyesight. Shit, he didn’t give a damn if she couldn’t hear too well either, he wanted him a woman.
Lynette batted her lashes when she saw the number crumpled in the bag. Something told her in that instant, he was the one. For sure, she knew he was when something flew to her backside and wedged itself into her ass and stung the shit out of her where she’d split her pants. She got to jumping around, looking real uncute and ended up falling into Glynn’s strong arms before they both hit the ground, laughing. They were so wrapped into each other, they just laid on their backsides on the pavement, as if a blanket was spread underneath them on a patch of grass at the city park.