“Madonna” Google Image.
Or did I never tell you?
You do realize we’re both lions and our daughters are Libras, born days apart right? Only thing is, Madonna’s been married one time more than me and there’s that teeny matter of the income gap between us. I’m working on it though, along with the whole Madonna physique thing. Well, I was.
Somewhere, between eating a sandwich and lifting 20 kilos, I got tired. I’m like, “Totsy, who the hell you kidding? You’re doing good to walk around the damn compound for an hour.” I imagine for Madonna to look the way she does, she’s doing far more than getting her heart rate up with brisk walking or that other jive ass exercise I call myself doing. And too, I imagine if she’s doing push-ups, she’s not on her knees doing them like me either. But then, I didn’t want her arms in the first place. I wanted Michelle Obama’s arms, Janet Jackson’s ass and Jennifer Lopez’s abs.
See, you have to piece together what you want in this life and go for it. Though somehow, I changed my mind. ‘Cause to be honest, I don’t have that kinda time. Seriously. None of them are writing books. If they do, they hire themselves a ghost writer and then get a personal trainer to work their bodies out and a chef to cook them skinny foods. I have no such luxuries.
And then, I look around at the women folk I’m working with now and I ain’t bragging or nothing but I know physically, I’m much better off than they are. So I get to thinking, ‘I must be the Madonna among us.’ And for real folks, sometimes you know, whether you vocalize it or not, and I don’t. Which makes me think I have to work harder in the little gym over here if I wanna keep up my “Madonna” status. Maybe I need to walk around this place a little faster or take up running.
But folks, I know me. I ain’t running nowhere unlessen something’s chasing behind me, trying to bite me in the ass. I ain’t hardly trying to have somebody rationing my food to me either. And actually, I’m doing a decent enough job at that myself. I’m back to eating apples again since I’ve grown tired of cooked foods. And the whole deal with getting Jennifer Lopez abs, well, it just ain’t working out being that I only may do 100 crunches a week. Shit, I get busy doing nothing and forget sometimes. You know, my mind’s preoccupied with lifting my abaya when I walk up stairs, trying to keep folk from jumping ahead of me in line, trying to figure out a way to get into some trouble over here without going to jail and narrowing down the shit on my to-do list once I finish the list I’m working on now. I’m just busy, folks. I’m living a real life. Forget Madonna and all them.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
I once read that Kylie spends 4 hours doing some form of excercise every day… now whther that is true or not is anyone’s guess but you gotta be doing a whole lot of something to keep bodies like they do !.. I can’t be arsed !
On weekends, I spend 3 hours but something’s still not right about my little look. I may have to go under the knife.
Who’s Kylie?
Haha Totsymae.. Kylie is the singer Kylie Minogue!
Good move giving up working to have Madonna’s body. I bet she’d like to too. I squirm to see her trying so hard. What happened to her chutzpah?
I think she’d trying to hold her spot but do remember, Madonna’s a mastermind when it comes to advertising herself.
We could all look like Madonna if we had personal chefs and personal trainers at our beck and call, but I bet you look pretty great on your own. I’ve got issues (like every American woman, I guess) but mostly I just want to be fit enough to do what I want. I could do with stronger abs, though, to keep my back from going out. I guess maybe I should work harder at remembering to do those crunches.
I’ve got issues too. My arms arms are terribly sore but to keep sane, I keep working out anyway. I need a life, I guess. But that’s another issue.
Shoot, girl, I don’t even know what a “crunch” is unless it begins with Captain. So you know I’m not doing that. I think you look better than that skeezy Madonna in the first place. She has lumpy stringy arms and her legs with that crotch always shoved to the camera just look nasty to me. I know you are the Madonna of the abaya set and that’s good going. Now go eat an apple and keep up your strength!
You’re way too funny…
I don’t think the crotch in the camera is a good look on anybody, now that you’ve stated it so bluntly. I’ll keep wearing the abaya and acting virtuous and whatnot.
It’s all those Madonna pelvis thrusts that get me pooped …
You go Totsy. We love you just the way you are. With all your own pieces.
Well, being that I don’t have the finances to purchase different pieces, I’ll settle for the ones I do have and be thankful for them.
I am no real fan but she was stellar in Evita. Dick Tracy movie too.
Oooohhh, so you remember way back then. Some impression she left on you….:-)
Totsy…you never mind about Madonna. We want you! Get that non-JJ ass home safe and sound!
I may come to Canada after meeting these nice fellas here.
Don’t you be messing around with our boys. You have more than your share. Mind you, if you meet a really great one who has an older brother, well…bring em home with ya.
One of them cooked me some lunch the other day. Wasn’t bad. I’ll ring you up when I get close to the border.
–Haaaha,
I’m Madonna inside my mind, babe.
Xxxx Happy Friday.
I think that’s about where she is with me too now. Too much work and I don’t do hungry very well either.
Being busy living a real life and writing and painting are SO much better than all that Madonna jive! You go, Tots!
Or maybe I’d like to have her kinda money is the real deal.
I’m still in this desert, so maybe I’ve got time to plot my moves.
So me, I want to be just me. If me could be healthier, more toned, weigh less; that would be nice. If I can fit in a walk every day and pick up some weights, that is great. If I am able to maintain those activities in between other things, I am happier. But you know, the things that make me happier? Good friends, healthy children and grandchildren, each and every time I discover the world doesn’t suck quite as badly as I believed.
When I read great books, blogs, or go see great art. I just suspect my friend you are beautiful and if I put you next to Madonna I would pick you every single time.
Me getting picked over Madonna’s kinda cool. Overall, I want to live a long and healthy life. If I can look good too, that’s icing.
Lady, if you’re doing 100 crunches, you’re way ahead of the game. The last time I did 100 crunches, the Son was eight months old. He’s now soon to be 21. Yep, I am totally fine about my non Madonna appearance. I too have made peace with piecing together people’s body parts to describe all this bootyliciousness that is me. I have JLo’s ass, Dolly Parton’s boobs, and Opraph’s tummy, before she lost all the weight. Or is she fat again? I don’t know. But you get the picture. Dear Lord, please take us back to the times of Reubens, where generous tummies were considered beautiful and voluptous women were encouraged to pose naked. Yes, that would definitely make me happy. And I swear, I would disrobe for any artist, starving or otherwise!
Well, you’d get away with that Reubens look in Saudi. I think being here is encouraging me to get more fit, actually. They just don’t have a healthy lifestyle. So, I guess if it took me to come all this way to get my behind in shape, it’s a worthy trip.
I watched the ‘Insanity’ workout. Does that count?
Watching does count. I did it twice, with some moderation of course. Next time, I’ll watch too. Good eye exercise.
Exercise is dumb. Just plain dumb. You look good to me.
You mean that, George? I mean, me looking good and all.
LOL! I don;t doubt you are the Madonna among your group. You got her attitude and that counts for like 90 percent.
HA! I love Madonna. And you for saying that!
I laughed when I read that you wanted MO’s arms, JLo’s abs and JJ’s ass. I thought you already had them with all the working out and self-rationing of food I thought you were doing there. I was even getting jealous because I’ve been doing nada, zero, zip — well, except dream of having their arms, abs and ass — and it shows!
I’ve slacked a bit over the last few days. Matter of fact, I was in the gym today and almost fell asleep on the bench press as I was waiting for the AC to kick in.