Google Image
Thursday and Friday is the weekend in Saudi, folks. Our current year, according to the Gregorian calendar is 1433. I was writing my date of 2012 recently and the Saudi woman I was speaking to was trying to figure her date and wrote it for me. I said, “Is that the year you’re living in?” She kinda smiled and I smiled back but told her, “Well, this is the year I’m living in,” and wrote 2012 again. We both giggled.
It’s real strange living here, as you may have discerned already. I just came back from a little grocery shopping and one of the dogged things is that men are served first. They have someone weigh your veggies and fruit for you, like back in the olden days. But unlike the good ole days, men come first. When I first went to this store called Othaim, I was in the checkout line and had this man give me the hand signal to move back while he moved ahead of me in line. Bitch!
I’m gonna tell you this though. While I wear the abaya and head covering, I refuse to cover my face. I can’t read the food labels that way. Some women have the hijab on, which covers them from the bridge of the nose to around the neck area, like the picture above. With this, you can only see the slit of their eyes and some wear glasses. I won’t go into detail on how ridiculous this looks to me. I’m just a hardheaded westerner, I guess. But I have to tell you, that time we were kicked outta the corner store, well before we were kicked out, I was trying to read the oatmeal label with my face covered. It was frustrating ’cause I wasn’t counting on being covered and didn’t have my glasses. I couldn’t see shit!
A Muslim woman I worked with described the covering thing as keeping the desires of the men down. Something like that. But I’m thinking, that’s his damn problem. Why should women wear all this shit ’cause men can’t control themselves?
I tend to carry myself like a westerner wearing my abaya. I wear big Hollywood-style sunglasses. I have a tendency to put my hands on my hips during long pauses. When I’m sitting in public, I cross my legs without covering my underclothing. There’s even a hint of frustration that I have to deal with all these clothes when I’m walking up stairs ’cause if you’re not careful and unaccustomed, you forget to raise it up and step on them.
I’m about to tell you some real dumb shit I did. I should be embarrassed to expose myself in such a way but I’m fully capable of stepping outside myself and recognize that I’ve done dumb shit from time to time.
Folks, when I first got this abaya, well, I bought two. Over here, that is. What I brought with me were long skirts and such that I’d bought from a Muslim shop online. I thought if I dressed conservative, I wouldn’t have to wear no abaya. Plus, I didn’t want to be wearing black in all this heat. Well, I do have to wear one but it’s only for wearing in public. Once indoors, it can come off. What my dumb ass did when I started wearing the thing was put it straight on over my underclothes. Imagine me in the airport, coming from Riyadh to where I am now and the damn snaps popping open. I just knew I’d end up getting arrested. There I was struggling with the luggage, trying to figure out where to go and my tatas trying to see what’s happening and such. Of course, I know better now but I have to tell you, it sure was a lot cooler wearing the abaya without the skirt and shirt underneath. I don’t care how many clothes you put on these women though, they’re no different from women folk anywhere else. I’m here to let you know, folks!
This one young woman was telling me yesterday that she couldn’t sleep. I asked her why. She said her back was hurting. I said, “You need to go to the spa for a massage.” She got to looking all funny and I thought she didn’t know what a spa or massage was. I said, “There’s one across the street.” She said, “Who give massage? Man or woman?” I said a woman, ’cause you know, that’s what I was supposed to say. She goes, “I don’t want woman. I want man!”
And I’m thinking, I can feel you on that!
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
I have asked you this before but got no answer, why are you over there?
You’re gonna come over and pretend to be my husband so I can be less restricted? We don’t have to tell them we’re twins. I’ll be covered up either way.
I think a lot of congressmen and senators would wear these things if would would cover up matters in their personal lives that are quite despicable.
You’re right but when I think about it, they would be much bigger than the one I wear.
Ahahaa! You can cover up the woman in bolts of cloth, but the hormones live on.
Love it!
I wasn’t expecting her to respond that way but it tickled me so.
Why do they have to be black that absorbs the heat instead of white to reflect it.. that’s what gets me !
They are very light and thin, so it’s not all bad. And it really is much cooler without anything underneath. What eerie to me is seeing so many in one place. One time, I was at the mall shopping and a woman recognized me. She approached and said, “It’s me. Marwa.” I was like, “Okay!” But her face was covered so I still didn’t know who I was talking to. I’ve come across about three Marwas.
I can imagine it would be very strange indeed.
Wow…you’re doing culture shock! At first I thought the picture was a bunch of Klansmen that didn’t wash their sheets very well
(Maybe not so funny). Anyway, i don’t think all that covering stops men’s desire so much as leave room for wild fantasies of whats underneath.
Hansi
I am. It doesn’t stop anything. I could tell you stories…
I’ve always found that explanation for the coverings ridiculous. I’m 100% sure that I’ve never driven any man wild no matter what I wear. If those men are so sensitive, perhaps they should consider wearing bags over their own heads to shield their eyes.
I agree. The younger generation doesn’t like the abayas at all.
Alex brought me home an abaya and hijab from Saudi. I had mostly considered them “oppressive” garments. I tried the whole get up on and something in my mind “changed”. I felt more free than I had ever felt in my life. I felt like I had extreme “privacy”. My daughter is Muslim and married to a Persian. Her mother in law had told me that she felt “protected” when she wore the abaya and veil. She knew how she would be treated when she wore it. Nobody would molest her on the streets, etc. I felt very mysterious in mine. I could have been 18 or 80. I could be fantastically beautiful or hideously ugly.
We have two young women (I’m guessing) who live here in Alameda. They both walk around in the full “get up” with the abaya and hijab. They pair the outfit with gorgeous sparkly sandals, and have gorgeous pedicures. Now, nobody really turns around to look at them, but they actually look fairly glamorous.
I would not like to be told I had to wear it though. Maybe that’s why I’m in the San Francisco Bay Area and not in Saudi Arabia. (I ain’t going to Saudi Arabia either.)
It’s all about what one is used to. It has conveniences but carrying grocery and luggage, I just wanna rip it off. I like the freedom of movement. It’s rapidly getting warmer here, so the layers are a bit much. No, don’t come to Saudi. SF is the best place for you.
Haha I just had to laugh at the thought of you wearing the “thing” over your under garments. that must have been torturous. I come from an Islamic town so I can literally see what you mean, it’s a pity the women have to wear “”buibuis – in Swahili” in such heat. Mombasa my city is very humid. My naughty muslim friends wear ministkirts and tiny tops, majority wear a thin robe/dress…it’s really hot in there.
Reading your culture shock adventures is very thrilling
Yes, they are naughty. I thought some of the women wore tight clothing but mini skirts, I don’t think I’d encounter that here.
I can’t even deal with this gender apartheid shite. So I’m not going to say anything more. I’ll read you when you get back.
I understand.
It was match.com wasn’t it? They thought you would be perfect to send over there to straighten out those male chauvenists. You keep your Southern American head – hijab or not – held high and don’t let all of that covering bring you down. Geez, I can feel the weight of it from here.
It’ll take a gang of us to do that. I’ve heard western males talk about how socially awkward Saudi males are in the states around women because after a few initial encounters with males here, I thought “These guys wouldn’t survive in the states.” Not because of the awkwardness they have with females but in the states, they simply couldn’t have their own way. Believe me, from here, the weight is quite heavy but it’s all good. Looking forward to my return home big time.
Tots, all of your blogging friends already knew before you even got to where you are that you would bring out true confessions from every female over there you spend more than two mintues with. You have that gift of pulling back the curtain on every woman’s heart! I love it that the young woman wanted a male masseuse! (masseure?)
I’m right at my two-month mark. Time seems to go fast and slow. Learning firsthand what people think and feel in their own country has been a valuable lesson and then there are those lessons I’m continuing to learn for my own personal growth. I think the women are comfortable talking with me and I pose no threat to their way of life, simply allowing them to be who they are or desire to be.
I just couldn’t do it. When I worked in Malaysia I wore an Abaya sometimes, but theirs are so different. I still where mine.
I can dig that. I’m not so much bothered with being among the Saudi women. It’s when we’re integrated in public places like the store I mentioned and being objected to what us westerners view as rudeness. Even little boys have more right than women here. They just stand in your way like dead weight and move on when they feel the urge. So, that arrogance is imbedded at a very young age.
LMAO.
My bff is in Abu Dhabi, but most of the Americans don’t wear the traditional coverings. Jen (my bff) has a tendency to wear tight, revealing clothing. That’s how she rolls. And she has triple D’s. I’m not judging her or anything (that’s not my style: not the judging, but the wardrobe), but she says that men literally follow her everywhere she goes by the droves. And the women sneer at her.
Hmmm…well, I know the middle east has a fascination with pale skin. There’s also the perspective that women who are exposed are prostitutes. Some women are offered money. I had the guard to gesture ‘tits’ with his hands when I was walking around the compound in my western gear. It’s a trip.
Just the picture at the top is confronting to me. I don’t want to imagine whole streets and cities of black-covered women. A murder of crows is the phrase that comes to my mind. Some years ago, I went to the Tower of London and saw a medieval instrument of torture called a scold’s bridle, a face and neck cage built of metal with a bell hanging over the forehead (to warn men of the approach of a “scold”, ie, a nagging woman) and a metal insert that fitted into the mouth depressing the tongue so the woman couldn’t speak. About half an hour later, I was walking down Oxford Street and saw three women dressed in hijab with a metal muzzle that appeared to go into their mouths holding their tongues.
Metal muzzle? See, I thought muzzles were used only dogs when they were being house-trained. What an image, to see that. My son’s best friend’s mother is married to a Pakastani in America. She said they were in a restaurant and the wife was covered and had to keep moving the hijab to eat her food.
it is nice to see a culture through your eyes –
David in Maine USA
Thanks, David. While I’m limited to the compound and worksite, I’ve learned quite a bit in the short time I’ve been here. Stay tuned…
What is there to like about the abayas? They sound and look awful. That culture sounds so unfair on so many levels, but men get to cut in line? I dare them to try that here. You must be craving your American lifestyle, no?
I’m laughing and laughing although I know it’s not funny to live there. I’m sorry for laughing but I know them so well and I expected the woman’s reply by the way!!!
Fascinating
. Interesting.
Amazing.
& I’m also pissed off. Xxxx What are you doing over there, Tots? Xxx Painting. Research?
During our first summer in Switzerland, we went to the Fete de Geneve, which is a festival, complete with rides, on the shores of Lake Geneva. One of the Saudi Princes was in town (as they often are — Geneva is lovely in the summer). He brought with him his whole family.
One afternoon, the girls all rode the bumper cars, in their black hijabs. They were slamming into each other, eyes glowing with the Alps and Lake Geneva behind them. It is a marvelous image.
Two months into this? Hopefully you are coming home soon.
That’s a great point! Popped in from Inner Chick to say hi!
We have about a dozen says of you can take the _______ out of the ________ but …and you know the rest. women are women and the men still suck at being polite.
And as long as you were just flashing in the airport. you would have been alright *giggles* Isn’t that called a customs random search anyway?
Take care, Tots <3
Red.
LOLOL!! Tuck in the tatas, under clothes, not just underwear, Tots! (Keep the girls together!) While I’ve never ever seen you in person, I envision you, stepping on that abaya walking up and down the steps, and at the airport, dealing with your luggage, trying to keep a snap-on together. Ooh, I needed a good laugh!
[...] been some wonderful cultural stories and her insights on how we may be different in some ways, but there’s a lot that we have in common is refreshing and [...]