Way back when, I said I’d teach y’all how to speak Southern. Folks, welcome to our first vocabulary words in Speaking Southern 101. Today, this very brief exercise is what I call Survival Skills Training in the South.
Your first word, my good folk, is finny. You can also say fenna (pronounced with a short ‘e’ sound; the ‘a’ is pronounced ‘uh’). If you wanna use a more proper way of saying it, say fixing to.
Now, I’m gonna use finny in a sentence for you. Pay close attention.
“I’m finny go to the store now.”
Of course you can also say, “I’m fenna,” which is a lackadaisical way of saying the same thing. You don’t have to really move your mouth much to say fenna. If you say, “fixing to,” you will be looked upon as the more proper southerner, even though you ain’t “fixing to” fix shit. By no means will you say, “I’m getting ready to go to the store,” ’cause that defeats the whole purpose of enrolling in this course. You don’t want that, as this is a total immersion program. Well, at least that was the initial plan before I ended up over here in the desert. I’m gonna hook up this little class as best I can from over here anyhow. Right now, we’re experiencing some winds from a sandstorm, which I may be able to show you one of these days.
Anyhow. Your second southern term is sammich.
Use both words in a sentence to say, “I’m finny tear into this sammich ’cause I’m what? You got it. Hongry!
That’s a wrap on this session, folks. I don’t wanna put too much on y’all at once, so we shall stop here and your homework is to have oral practice with your family and friends. At every opportunity, when you’re preparing to perform a task, say finny or fenna. Below is your flashcard to help you with your home assignment. I’m so very, very sorry I don’t have an audio for you to follow along. I’m currently in the process of writing a grant, which is awfully hard to come by given the state of the economy, and trying to acquire some of that Race to the Top money that the U.S. Education Secretary, Arnie Duncan, got me down here competing for. Maybe by the end of the year, you folk will be able to correspond to him by letter using your newly acquired language skills to pose particular questions and demands. Or…Hmmm…Maybe I can get a quick loan from China.
When I was coming up, I had a fair share of egg salad sammiches. My research says John Montagu created egg salad but he never made no sammich of this dish. Since we’ve seen how creative southern folk can be through oral language, I reckon it was southern folk who got the bright idea to spread this concoction on bread ’cause we will eat all sorta sammiches down here, to include, ketchup sammiches and it ain’t no thang to throw some peanut butter with sliced bananas between some bread. Okay? Here’s a recipe that you may enjoy for making your very own egg salad sammich. Happy eating, folks.
This recipe is for a one egg sandwich. If you have more eggs and more people to feed, just double, triple, etc. the recipe.
Ingredients
- 1 hard boiled egg (large), peeled and chopped
- 1-2 Tbsp mayonnaise (to taste)
- 2 Tbsp chopped celery
- 1 Tbsp chopped green onion
- Salt and pepper (to taste)
- 1 leaf of lettuce or sprinkles of fresh spinach
- 2 slices dark rye bread, toasted
Method
1 First off, you’re gonna mash up the chopped egg a bit with a fork. Next, I want you to mix together the chopped hard-boiled egg, mayonnaise, celery and onion. Sprinkle You some salt and pepper and curry powder to taste.. Got that? Then, mix it all up with a spoon.
2 Okay, now toast your bread slices. Put you a layer of lettuce on one slice of toasted bread, spread the egg mixture on top of the lettuce, put another slice of toasted bread on top. Got that?
3 Now, loosen your pants up and bite into that sammich real big.
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Excellent, entertaining and enlightening post!!!! Y’all don’t blow away over there now, ya heah?
No blowing away here. We survived it and will be gearing up for the next one. glad you like the post.
Hey, sammich is Italian New Yawk too. Well Italian south New Yawk I supposed. I be headin o’er to Roy’s Barber shop now for a game a checkies,
New Yawk and checkies is out there for me even. Maybe you should teach Southern.
After 30 years in Houston, I still speak with the Midwestern accent of my upbringing…but y’all and fixin’ to are staples of my vocabulary!
Well, I write y’all but never say it. My mom wasn’t having no such nonsense but now that I’m grown…Well, I still don’t say it. For the purposes of this here course though, I’m finny sign off and go have a little food.
Well, Totsy, I was finna go take a bath when I read this and realized, maybe I’d wait a spell cause I’m hongry. Now wouldn’t you know it, I made some stupid poached eggs yesterday and so now I got nuthin for a sammich. Dang.
Dang is about right. Now, you run your little diva self on to the store and settle this matter with a carton of eggs so you can get your sammich on.
Interesting way of speaking…don’t think I would be able to follow much though
But know that if you’re ever down south, you’re gonna need this.
I am a very good student – before you know it I will speak southern with my Russian accent! is it even possible?
We’re gonna have to work on the accent, Ariana. May even have to call you Anne for your southern name. You know, they give you a particular name of origin when you take language classes.
Ohhh Totsy… This is so unfair… I was ready to start a little diet. (“Okay tomorrow no Coca Cola, no bread” (I eat way too much bread. With cheese of course hmmmm Have you ever heard of “Boursault”? http://www.quiveutdufromage.com/marques/boursault.html Mamma Miaaa). I have a superpower. I can talk to people and make them hOngry. Food= my favorite thing.
I just want to eat your sammich. RIght now. And it’s 10:35 pm here. I want also goat cheese on toasted bread. With…
Okay stop.
Well, try one slice of bread ‘stead of two, You don’t have to do the whole shebang. And make sure you eat before 6 pm.
No, I’ve not heard of Boursalt. Thanks for the site. I’ll look him up.
I do declay-ah. I feel like sippin’ mah mint ju-lip unna-neath mah mag-no-lay-a tray.
How’d I do, Teach?
Since I don’t east sammiches, I had to come up with something else…
Hmmm…I’m gonna have to make you write sentences, I see. I almost didn’t understand a word you said. Southerners do enunciate, you know. With a southern drawl and not chopping every word to pieces, mind you. Maybe eating a nice sammich might help you out some, aye?
My ass just grew LARGER by drooling over that sandwich. I want some NOWWWWWW. Xx
You’ll have to try it and let us know how it turned out. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed one bit.
Lawdy Totsy, I think I have a grip on the ‘southern speak’. But I’d love it if you could teach me to speak fluent French. Mine is just awful. And with a southern accent no less. Painful to the ears.
Oh, I speak myself some chopped up French but my best advice for you is to locate you a blogger from Louisiana. They can teach you cooking and French like you wouldn’t believe. Now, I can’t say you could take your French-learning to Paris and be precisely understood but I guaronteee you’ll pick up the language that your southerness will ease right on into.
That sammich looks awful good. I haven’t had egg salad in ages. Now I crave it, thanks to you, Miss Totsy!
It tastes good too, Monica. Won’t take you but a good 15 minutes or so to whip up this meal for women on the go, like yourself.
God, I love it when you talk Southern to me. But … “finny”????? It’s completely spoiling my ideas of Southern. Sounds Irish.
The Irish say ‘finny’ too? Real small world. I’d have never known that if I’d not made this one of your vocabulary words, now would I?
Now you know no God Ferin’ Southern Woman would slap anything between dark bread! It is Wonder Bread all the way.
I reckon I was thinking on the healthy side since I eat dark bread. But yeah, some southern folks, you can’t get twist their arms or legs to put anything between wheat bread.
I can hardly understand English
You’re doing better than you think.
First off, I am SO hungry right now, sturrin’ up that there egg sammich in my head! Second of all, I mos’ offen hear dat word “finna” when sittin at a red light (in the South, dey’s awwuz red!) and hearin de guys nex to me revvin it up, callin out, “it’s fenna change; it be fenna change!” Take care of your self in those sand storms, okay? Be well and be safe!
It be fenna change? Now, that cracked me up!!! Never heard it put in such fashion. I have to remember that one.
Thanks for the language lesson.
I’m south, but if I said “finny”, “fenna” or “fixing to” down here, they’d think I was from di CIA!
Can’t see how one goes from “fixing to” to “finny/fenna”? Man, language is a beautiful thing. Thanks for the new words for my vocab. I’d heard sammich before — thought it was a NYC thing.
Hey Totsymae … you are delightfully prolific – marooned away from good ole USofA! That sandiwch is delish, I used red onion instead of green onion and added thinly sliced tomato with a dash of black pepper … cheers catchul8r molly