- Chocolate during that special time of month
- Ignoring the dumb shit and especially folk who create the dumb shit (You know who you are but sadly, many of you don’t. Worst yet, are the folk who are entertained by starting the dumb shit and then hiding their hands behind their backs like they had no part in it.)
- Moisturizing dry skin
- Orgasms during sex
- Working on yourself without advertising that you’re working on yourself. (Hell, the folk who know you best already know the deal. Stop trying to prove to everybody else you’re not who you really are. It’s all good.)
- Leaving a nest egg for your children so they won’t be as broke as you were
Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae
- Making your bed in the morning
- Taking a shit or two every day (Well, you should really have one after every meal, folks. I highly suggest you see your family physician if something’s happening otherwise. You know me. Just looking out.)
- Never running outta toilet paper
- Making sure your nose is clear of boogers throughout the day
- Ensuring your fly is zipped before leaving the bathroom (Very important when in public, folks)
- Soap and water
- Deodorant
- Keeping your damn mouth shut sometimes. (Everything don’t dignify a response. And every battle ain’t worth fighting.)
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Sound, real and worth practicing!
This coming from a guru herself. I’m doing something right.
If I’m a guru, you are my big sister!
Nah, don’t put it on me. I’m just a bystander with mere observations. You have keener insight than I.
You are spot on!
Thank you, Michael Ann. Hope all’s well over your way.
Totsy, I love how you always tell it like it is. Keepin’ it real and we don’t expect any less!
Amen!
Nah I was playing nanny granny for several months. Had to go mostly off the grid for a bit. I’m trying to ramp back up but have to catch up on well…my career, my life…everything lol! It was lovely to be with my grandson, but it’s lovely to be done too. :p
Glad you’re back.
Much hilariousness in this good advice!
I agree with almost all of these, but I never make my bed in the morning.
Tsk, tsk Laura.
I always thought my biggest issue was, that I neglect moisturizing my skin
properlyat all. Thanks, for showing me how crappy my life really is!I’m having an issue now, actually due to climate and water changes, so dry skin does feel a bit crappy.
This is a perfect list! I really hate when I go a day without a BM. Just doesn’t feel right! It is hard to keep my mouth shut Tots, but I try.
No, it doesn’t feel good.
All we can do is try.
“Chocolate during that special time of month” THAT BEING 24/7. Matter of fact I just finished cleaning up from last night’s sleepwalking chocolate episode. 2 candy bars stuck to my back and 1 ground into the pillow case and wrappers all over the floor. .
You’re hilarious.
I can’t add anything else after imagining this visual.
Keeping my “damn mouth shut”.
U
Okay.
There’s a special time of the month for chocolate???
(Ahem) Some of the ladies can hip you to that, Hansi.
Funny, as always. LOVE today’s art. Beautiful!
•Keeping your damn mouth shut sometimes.—
Now, sometimes I must remember to do this, Tots <3 Xxx
Me too.
Great list! I would add that if you’re not bouncing checks at the grocery store you should consider yourself successful.
Hmmm…Never thought of that one. Folks still write checks?
Ahah I agree!!
And great painting
Thank you much.
I did read each and every point, but I kept fixating on the bowel movement twice a day…I so have to get myself checked out. I have “shitting” envy
Yeah, get that checked out. Try fiber first.
How did you get to be so damn wise at such a young age? Just answer me that……*smiling here*
Not that young or wise. I’m barely making it.
I couldn’t think of a single thing to add, maybe walk your dog and your husband if you have one and they aren’t the same thing.
Funny.
Don’t be trying to tell me you do all this shit yourself. I know you don’t because I don’t either. Sounds pretty though.
What the heck is the matter with your connection?
Why not, George? It’s a simple list. Some of it, you do by rote. But keeping the mouth is the one everybody struggles with. I can tell you right now that my bed’s made and I don’t run outta toilet paper. I’m pretty regular too. |You don’t want me to go down the list. do you?
I try to do most of this stuff but sometimes, like the last 2 weeks ’cause I’m out of my comfort zone, things been acting a bit strange. I might have to help it along.
I still make my bed though, right after I get out of it and unless I’m very sick, I’ll be damned if I can get back into it until it’s bedtime again. Habit. Blame my mom.
I’m definitely out of mine but I sat down and had to honestly think about myself and my little sit’ation. Know what I’m saying? Had to come to a peace and stop it with all the internal bitching. It ain’t easy though. Constant reminding is what it takes.
makes me wonder how you developed this list lol smh
Thatchu, Baby Boi?
Well, living more than 20-something yeats, you’re gonna wind up with a list too.
(wink, wink)
You just about covered it all, my friend.
I can think of a few others more specific to me, but, in general, these are the essentials…
We can definitely expand the list. I’m sure you could add some good tidbits to live on too.
Tots, you truly have a very special (and rare!) gift for knowing what is important–and what is not! You know, I am now wondering if keeping one’s mouth shut more often would allow people’s guts to relax more and making them more regular with their waste elimination out the proper orifice, instead of out of their mouths, you know?
Hmmm…maybe that explains the inconsistent BMs. I must take note and keep duct tape near.