Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae
I’d like to think, for the most part, I’m all that. But be honest, folks. Sometimes you’re hot and well, those times you’re not, you need to fess up, okay? ‘Cause believe you me, somebody out there is willing to let you know. I’m one such person. And look at this way, the truth is a beautiful thing no matter how ugly it is.
Now, it’s not about being down and out on myself or nothing. It’s not. I just have to lay the facts on the table and play with what’s in my hand. Same as you, ’cause you ain’t all that on a 24/7 basis either. Need I remind you? Let’s lay that on the table while we’re at it (finger snapping and neck rolling).
Okay. So, I’ve relocated my little work area to this…I don’t know what it is. A dressing table that looks like a desk? Well, when I need to charge my little laptop, that’s where I sit if I want to keep working on something steady, right? So, I’m working right along and I’m doing real fine for the first few days, justa pecking along on this keyboard of mine.
Well, I got to picking on myself sorta.You know, with the mirror being in fronta me and all. Not in a bullying kinda way but I’m like, “Totsy, you got yourself a big ass head. Damn, girl!” I got to turning the damn thing this way and that. You know, just in case I’d caught myself a bad angle. I’m trying to cut myself a break with my own image staring right back and something said to me, “Uh uh, yo’ shit’s just big.” Then, I got to wondering if my shoulders got smaller and I can’t say they did or didn’t. I mean, my shoulders ain’t something I give a heapa attention to. Do you? Then, I started thinking of my shoe size, which is an 8 or 8.5, depending on the make and model and you know what? I said, “Totsy, you’d be in trouble if you had smaller feet. Your ass would tilt right on over.”
Be honest. What’s your physical liability? And do you need to take a rider out on your insurance for certain body parts? Hey, if you don’t know, you best ask somebody. Better yet, send me your photo and let a sistah hook you right on up, okay?
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
So glad I don’t have your problems. I am perfectly proportioned despite you once saying you think me very tall. Height is in the eye of the beholder.
Unlike yours my mirrors are, this minute, all covered up. Whilst my ass doesn’t look big in anything the body’s biggest organ (yes, skin – would you believe it) is currently giving me grief as I have never known. Something has clearly got under my skin and it shows. If I could lie in a mud bath all day, in a darkened room, you wouldn’t know the difference.
U
Lovely!
That’s exactly what my mother used to say when I’d complain about my size 10 feet, 8 or 9 when I was in high school. I never complained again. Mothers just know the right thing to say.
I love my hands, I’d take insurance out on them. And my body ain’t half bad either.
Anyway, I think that mirror’s telling you tales. Don’t listen!
I’m cool with the whole head thing really. I’ve worked with kids who didn’t have a good number of things, so I appreciate my head; what goes on in it and whatnot, no matter the size.
I a’t doing bad on my body either, girlfriend. And you oughta be doing hand commercials with those hands of yours. I always thought that was such an easy money-maker.
I know what you mean about those kids. Sad.
And I know what you mean about that body of yours — I have seen your photo — hahaha!
I thought about the hand commercial thing a while ago but I didn’t follow up. I’ve got really big hands for a woman. They’re larger than some men’s! But like my feet, if they were any smaller, I’d look weird.
Lord, you’re funny. Who would admit it? Totsy, of course.
Matter of fact, I’m sitting in this very spot in front of the mirror, looking at it now. I think it’s the part from the ears up that gets pretty weighty-looking.
Blegh, I don’t usually like mirrors. I have a big ass head too, but I can be cute. hehe. You’re definitely funny, I’ll second George Weaver on that.
Oh yeah, we can defintely still be cute with our big heads. Let’s not get it twisted.
I don’t doubt for one minute that you can be cute with your big head!
You had me cackling with this one, tots. I’m with you; I’ve got a big head too, but the things that pain me most are not the things that have always been there, but the things that are vanishing or just appearing.
I do have very pretty feet though, and I can’t imagine they’re going anywhere without me
Ah, those strange appearances and disppearances…There will be days we will come to reminisce.
I am in definite need of a makeover, something that can shave 20 years off my body. Make that 27, to my pre-pregnancy self. Ah, the old days.
I’m going walking this morning and you can join me, if you like. But don’t you wish you could eat chocolate all day and shed those pounds?
Oh Totsy, a little denial is a beautiful thing. I squint in the mirror so the image is slightly blurry. Wrinkles are less visible that way. And never, never look down into a mirror as the face falls forward like a droopy hound dog after a certain age.
OMG…A hound dog. Lordy mercy, I must begin lobbying congress to add plastic surgery in the healthcare plan. For now, I shall make a picket sign that says ‘Fight the Sag’ until a bill is passed.
When I look, I can find a million things that are wrong. The size of my head is okay, but pretty much everything else could use some improvement. It’s much better if I avoid the mirror. Or take out my contacts. Then I’m just a smudge with brown hair.
I’m with you, Shary! I think nearsightedness is a wonderful thing — and getting to be more and more of a blessing with each passing year.
Most of my body parts are beyond insuring, and have crapped out on me long ago
Hansi
Nowadays, you can buy parts and they’re just as good.
Yep, I like it when I’m all good with myself. You know, when you look in the mirror and go “Bam!”
There it is!
Haaa, I soo love your honesty, Tots.
& I love big asses, too <3 I gotta.
btw, Love your new blog look. & your font in the middle !!
I wanna big ass. Within reason for my form, that is.
Thanks. I keep changing the look. I need someone to make me something special. I really don’t feel like learning how to do it myself.
There are some people — one such as yourself, I would think — whose prodigious brains simply won’t be confined to an average-sized cranium.
I bet . . . in another time or society, your big head would be seen as a sign of wealth or influence.
I like the way you think, Cara.
Funny thing about a big head though. It gets amazingly heavy when I get sleepy, like now.
Okay, first off, most of them Hollywood types have big heads and little bodies. Nuthin’ wrong with that. I’ve found that as I age, I look better. Now the truth is, years ago, I saw flaws everytime looked in the mirror. Now I see pretty much perfection. Those crows feet and laugh lines have pretty much disappeared. Of course, it’s been years and years since I had my eyes checked and I may need glasses, but I figure, what for? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Plus, somebody else can always read that menu for me.
Well, I had mine checked less than a year ago and even with the new prescription, the head is big. Wish I’d not seen the eye doc like you, I mean, they can be so negative sometimes, telling us things we could do without. I’m skipping my next appt.
Delightful post, Totsy! I need my wide, size 9 feet to keep myself as stable as possible (what with all the spinning going on in this blonde head of mine). I’m working on getting my flat (not fat) butt a bit shapelier by going to yoga and wishing I could do the poses. Best assets? Blue eyes and perfectly symmetrical size 38-C ta-tas.I’ve also been told I have the legs of a 25 year old–one who is in good shape…But at the bottom of it all is some big honking hooves.
Well, it’s all good, Lorna. Long as you can hold yourself up, looks like those 9 wides are just whatcha need. Would help you out real good with balancing the yoga. I like the laying down and sitting poses, with what little yoga I do know.
Totsy,
I was listening to this song as I was getting ready this morning and it made me think of you. I hope you enjoy it.
Blessings,
Cara
Holy moly! That is a huge image — sorry! Feel free to delete that after you listen.
I like that. Thank you!
I’m keeping it posted here so I can listen to it when I want.
And you’re even more beautiful for bringing this song to my attention.
Big hugs to you!
Oh, I am SO glad you liked it!
After I posted it, I started thinking “Boy . . . if Totsy doesn’t like that song, I’m about to get my bootie handed to me via some very good writing.”
Big hugs back to you! Happy weekend!
I HATE what I see when I look in the mirror so i just stopped looking
No, Nikky.
I’ll bet if you started smiling in that mirror, you’d love what you see.
I seek out people who are too vain to wear glasses. They make real good friends!
Yeah, I’ll bet they are some to the coolest folk to hang out with too.
Never picking the lent off your clothes and whatnot either.
I just was reminded how many pictures of myself I have tore to pieces over the years. It is simply the truth, I will be 55 this year (yes that is a current picture and not air brushed). I am bigger than a house, my ass enters the room 5 minutes after me. Most of my body is taking a swing north, I hate gravity. But you know, there are days when I am just happy I am here.
You are so fabulously talented, I suspect you should simply ignore the mirror in favor of the talent talent that is far better reflection.
You’ve got the right idea. Threre are so many other things to place my energy than on my big head. It’s not like I can do anything about it. But. I can make a bit of cash by focusing elsewhere.
Your advice is always sound and well taken.
No big head here. It’s a little head. Like a tiny grape perched atop a very big pear.
Love your artwork!
Ha! You’re quite funny.
Thank you.
[...] me big headed, or bigger headed since my head-to-body ratio is low, something like 1:3 or 1:4 (Totsymae can attest to [...]
Tots–really really like the artwork posted here on this one! That being said, I don’t know how you expect me to know WHICH part of my is out of kilter when I am laughing so hard imagining you twisting and turning and doing cartwheels to check yourself out in front of that dressing table mirror!
Oh Granbee, if you could’ve see, you’d have lost 5 pounds cracking up. I mean, I’d been told the thing was big but who wants to believe that? So, on closer view, I must come to this realization and move on.