Now, don’t press me with why I say this. I’m not altogether a dirty-minded thinking kinda person but I’m, well, learning about life other than I know it and I’ll have to sit down to let the birds and bees outta the bag later. Be patient, if you will. I need to nose around a bit more and get the skinny. Just so you know, I’m about getting the skinny and then passing it on. In the meantime, Don in Massachusetts and Red said they wanted more dirty talk limericks. So again, here we go…
So that she’d never sleep alone,
Janie invited stranger men to her home.
They romped in the sack all night;
Had bitter coffee at the break of light.
Come nightfall, the seedy side of town, she’d roam.
~~~oooOOOooo~~~
There was a woman named Julie I once knew -
To speak of bed partners, oh she had a few.
She reeled them in with the lusciousness of her ass,
Of which these horny men could never pass.
In her little black book, it counted one hundred and two.
~~~oooOOOooo~~~
Ms Caroline was starched and oh, so prude;
Her current beau couldn’t get her in the mood.
To those goods between her legs, she held tight;
The frustrated beau fought in his dreams at night.
Little was it known, Ms Caroline went doggie for a man named Jude.
~~~oooOOOooo~~~
It was apparent the marriage had gone south;
The little wifey refused particular things with her mouth.
She cringed to see it bulging from his pants -
This caused Husband to storm into rants.
He ended up purchasing certain favors on Tenth and Strouth.
~~~oooOOOooo~~~
It was no secret that Jacob Hartup was on a quest-
You’d see him beat his meat on the corner of Fifth and West.
So desperate he was to find a hole and poke;
But women all laughed him off as a horrible joke -
Told his fool ass to keep fucking himself if he wanted some sex.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
I love it! Dirty, dirty girl, you!
I know. It’s outta my system now.
If these get any sexier I might need a smoke!
All that paintin’ talent, and limericks too. I bow to the Queen.
Hartup, lol!
You’re funny. There are some guys like that, you know.
Excellent!! go on…
Your turn.
Although I consider myself quite a player back in the day, you have made an old man blush.
You’re still a player, Playa.
Very healthy!
See. Coming from a guru herself.
So sweet Totsy!
Wicked! Love em.
Thanks. Now, to move on to more serious topics.
Totsy, you just won’t do. Real funny. And true.
You know people like that? Uh oh
I love it. The voice on my tele is a right proper Brit. When he read the third one, I was pretty sure he did not use the verb “fought”. ROFL!
My dear, you have a knack for this. And thank you for humoring me
Red.
My pleasure and thank you.
Oh, girl, you are on fire! I love your limericks. Keep ‘em coming!
Thank you. Strange how folk channel their energy, aye?
Have you heard about the man from Nantucket?
Hansi
No, I haven’t but do tell.
Hooray for Tots and her getting “the skinny”. I hope to laugh like this every day of my life. Hey, I can if I just remember even ONE of these naughtly limericks!
Oh yeah, I’m gonna bring the skinny to you.
A right-royal Princess of Limericks, your are, Totstmae! cheers catchul8r molly
Every girl’s dream to be a princess. (Now packing to relocate to the castle)
Incorrigible !!
Totsy, how in the heck did I miss this? You crack me up!
Always a pleasure, Ms Medrano.
LOL
What, Coach? Whatchu laughing at?
Whut?
Me? … LOL 
That’s funny … LOL
LMAO!!!! Thanks for the laugh. I am sending this one to my sister.
Reblogged this on Impower You and commented:
If you want a chuckle check out these limericks. These are Rated R and probably not suitable to read with your parents, boss or children. Enjoy!
I’m English, grew up with limericks, forgot ‘em all except these two that stuck—for the life of me I haven’t a clue why.
There was a young bloke from The Cape,
Who shagged a barbary ape,
the sight was horrid,
all balls and no forhead
and his asshole was all bent outa shape.
***
On top of old smokey
where nobody goes
There lies Kristine Keeler
Without any clothes
Up comes Perfumo
A clipity cluck
He whips out his you know
and gives her a…
whatever….
Oh wow, those are good ones. Gave me a good chuckle.
Damn, Totsy. Behind that refined southern exterior lies quite a wild mind, and well, you know, the mind is the ultimate sex organ…
Thanks for making me smile! These were great. Hope you find time to post a few more in the future.
No, no. This wasn’t my doing. It was some other bloggers that pushed me to do it.
Damn, Totsymae, you are good!!! Love these.
Thanks. Maybe I’ll ponder more over the weekend. They were fun. Glad the response is so positive.