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Archive for April, 2012

Things I Miss About the Good Ole U.S. of A.

Posted in On the Road, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2012 | 49 Comments »

  1. Watching Repeats of Friends. I don’t care how many times I’ve seen each episode, I laugh like each one is always the first time. Matter of fact, I miss watching TV period. I mean, I’ll survive but I’m gonna be a little bit like fish outta water when I do get back.
  2. My Studio. Even if I sat down there and did nothing, I could sit there and do nothing. Sometimes, I’d just be on the phone chillin’ and even slept down there every now and then. Man…
  3. Sitting in my Lazy Boy. I’d sleep in it sometimes too. I think my ass is a little less flatter as a result of not sitting in it though. I was checking myself out and noticed that. I guess walking up to 2 hours a day got something to do with that. But yeah, I do miss those impromptu naps. I ain’t mad though, since I’m workin’ my little junk in the trunk though. Heeeyyyy..
  4. Trees. They have them over here in the middle of the east but not like the ones in my neighborhood. I could say I feel like I’m someplace exotic when I look at the trees here but with everybody covered from head to toe, well, I still don’t see the exoticism with all the torn down buildings and other places that are unfinished. Yeah, I’d show you pictures if uploading wasn’t my conundrum. One day is coming…
  5. Sitting on my Own Toilet.I don’t have to go into detail about that, do I? I will say that I have soft seats in two of my bathrooms. It’s not like I read in there or try to hang around too long. You know, I just wanna be comfortable while I’m there. I handle my business and get the hell on. I never really understood folk who read on the pot myself but hey, folk have to do what strokes their boat, okay?
  6. The Farmers’ Market.Everything I could ever want is there and here I am, way over here. I’m doing okay and all but at home, I’ve got a bumdiggety market at my disposal. I’d eat there sometimes too. Gee…and watermelon season’s coming real soon too. Dang, y’all.
  7. Peeping Outta My Windows. I can’t a bit more tell you what I was looking for than the man on the moon. I really considered myself an unofficial watch-out person for the neighborhood. Nobody knew I was looking but me but woe to the person who was caught doing any foolishness. I mean, no such incident ever happened but I had my eye circulating like a good neighbor. State Farm ain’t got nothing on me, alright?

Well, anyway…

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Speaking Southern 101: Constructing a Simple Sentence, Lesson 1

Posted in Speaking Southern 101, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2012 | 33 Comments »

Way back when, I said I’d teach y’all how to speak Southern. Folks, welcome to our first vocabulary words in Speaking Southern 101. Today, this very brief exercise is what I call Survival Skills Training in the South.

Your first word, my good folk, is finny. You can also say fenna (pronounced with a short ‘e’ sound; the ‘a’ is pronounced ‘uh’). If you wanna use a more proper way of saying it, say fixing to.

Now, I’m gonna use finny in a sentence for you. Pay close attention.

“I’m finny go to the store now.”

Of course you can also say, “I’m fenna,” which is a lackadaisical way of saying the same thing. You don’t have to really move your mouth much to say fenna. If you say, “fixing to,” you will be looked upon as the more proper southerner, even though you ain’t “fixing to” fix shit. By no means will you say, “I’m getting ready to go to the store,” ’cause that defeats the whole purpose of enrolling in this course. You don’t want that, as this is a total immersion program. Well, at least that was the initial plan before I ended up over here in the desert. I’m gonna hook up this little class as best I can from over here anyhow. Right now, we’re experiencing some winds from a sandstorm, which I may be able to show you one of these days.

Anyhow. Your second southern term is sammich.

Use both words in a sentence to say, “I’m finny tear into this sammich ’cause I’m what? You got it. Hongry!

That’s a wrap on this session, folks. I don’t wanna put too much on y’all at once, so we shall stop here and your homework is to have oral practice with your family and friends. At every opportunity, when you’re preparing to perform a task, say finny or fenna. Below is your flashcard to help you with your home assignment. I’m so very, very sorry I don’t have an audio for you to follow along. I’m currently in the process of writing a grant, which is awfully hard to come by given the state of the economy, and trying to acquire some of that Race to the Top money that the U.S. Education Secretary, Arnie Duncan, got me down here competing for. Maybe by the end of the year, you folk will be able to correspond to him by letter using your newly acquired language skills to pose particular questions and demands. Or…Hmmm…Maybe I can get a quick loan from China.

When I was coming up, I had a fair share of egg salad sammiches. My research says John Montagu created egg salad but he never made no sammich of this dish. Since we’ve seen how creative southern folk can be through oral language, I reckon it was southern folk who got the bright idea to spread this concoction on bread ’cause we will eat all sorta sammiches down here, to include, ketchup sammiches and it ain’t no thang to throw some peanut butter with sliced bananas between some bread. Okay? Here’s a recipe that you may enjoy for making your very own egg salad sammich. Happy eating, folks.

This recipe is for a one egg sandwich. If you have more eggs and more people to feed, just double, triple, etc. the recipe.

 

Ingredients

  • 1 hard boiled egg (large), peeled and chopped
  • 1-2 Tbsp mayonnaise (to taste)
  • 2 Tbsp chopped celery
  • 1 Tbsp chopped green onion
  • Salt and pepper (to taste)
  • 1 leaf of lettuce or sprinkles of fresh spinach
  • 2 slices dark rye bread, toasted

Method

1 First off, you’re gonna mash up the chopped egg a bit with a fork. Next, I want you to mix together the chopped hard-boiled egg, mayonnaise, celery and onion. Sprinkle You some salt and pepper and curry powder to taste.. Got that? Then, mix it all up with a spoon.

2 Okay, now toast your bread slices. Put you a layer of lettuce on one slice of toasted bread, spread the egg mixture on top of the lettuce, put another slice of toasted bread on top. Got that?

3 Now, loosen your pants up and bite into that sammich real big.

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A Big Apple Head, I Am

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2012 | 33 Comments »

Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

I’m in a little jam, folks. I really, really am. You know, I kinda enjoy myself a good meal and I have to tell you, even though I have a pretty strict diet for health’s sake, I was able to enjoy food, all fresh that is, in the U.S.

Folks, being over here in the middle of the east, I’m so sick and tired of broccoli and lettuce,  I could absolutely choke myself than take another bite. I mean, shit! There are only so many ways I know how to whip it up.  To be honest, I almost hate food at this point. I hate when I get hungry, ’cause that means eating pretty much the same thing I had the last few days. It wasn’t so bad eating all natural when I had more choices but hell, I ain’t that creative in the kitchen and while I’ve been trying to work with what I’ve got, I ain’t got all that much to work with. I know I told you I wouldn’t moan and groan but actually, I started this post on Saturday, when I was moaning and groaning, and I need y’all to hear me out on account of me not having anything else to say right now. Okay?

Well, Friday, I ate apples, alright? All. Damn. Day! Oh, it was okay the first two or three times but it seemed like after the fourth and fifth, my stomach said something like, “Oh bitch, hell naw! You have got to be kidding me.” But I wasn’t.

I’m telling you, I’ve lost my enthusiasm to eat and a lot of times, I avoid it by drinking water. I went to the store Saturday and guess what? My ass bought more apples. Only this time, they’re the yellow ones. You see, I change up the colors to psyche myself into thinking I’ve got a lot more variety than what reality tells me. I tried to cook some fish but that turned out like shit. Twice. Two different types of fish, mind you. Suffice it to say, I won’t be cooking fish while I’m over here.

On a good note, I’m eating healthy. But that I’m disinterested in eating is a real trip ’cause you couldn’t make me believe it if I saw it in a crystal ball myself. Also, I have to work out whether I’m getting all of what I need to, you know, remain intact ’cause the folk here don’t eat all that well. Dressed under all this stuff, folk tend to let themselves go and and I mean GO! The food labels are so tiny, you need a damn magnifying glass to read the ingredients and I’ll be the first to tell you, that don’t work too well when your face is covered up. It’s an absolute bitch, really.

Anyhow, between me not being a culinary expert, my limited choices and diet, I’m very limited with fresh food choices in the desert. I’m wondering what’s gonna become of me, folks. Seriously. I mean, how many apples can I keep eating on a daily basis? I miss sweet potato souffle, squash, green beans and the like. You know, good ole southern cooking on the healthy side. I don’t even see brown sugar over there. Oh Lord Lord, woe is me! (Now banging my big head on the dressing table)

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Pssst, I’m Over Here

Posted in On the Road, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2012 | 57 Comments »

Lordy mercy, folks. You can see where I am pretty much, can’t you? I don’t have the faintest who these folk are on either side of me but I kinda caught their eye, I suppose. Been over here in the middle of the east for the last month. I didn’t tell you I was leaving but I had to slip out and stay on the low-low for a minute. How you like my outfit, by the way?

I wanted to share some postcards of live drawings I’d done since being here but to tell you the truth, I haven’t done not one. For one, it’s too hot out there and the big number two is, I ain’t allowed to just be sitting around.  Now, I know you may be asking yourself, “Totsy, what in the world you doing over there and just whereabout in the middle of the east are you?” Well, I can’t rightly answer you. I mean, I know where I am and why but that I’m okay is good enough, I hope. I’m still transitioning and being over here, I’ll only say so much. You know, a sistah ain’t trying to be stuck in no foreign jail and whatnot. Or any jail, for that matter. Shit, I’m claustrophobic, so that wouldn’t work out for me at all. Know what I mean? I can’t be making trouble over here and whatnot over a blog of all things. I can tell you it was a two-day flight and I touched ground on March 25th. So, there you go.

I know. I’ve been talking about everything but. Wasn’t easy breaking the news to you or myself, for that matter. This explains the slowness of my internet, folks. Also, know that I’m trying to read your blogs as much as the internet will allow me. Yesterday, I wasn’t even able to log on to this here blog.  I was all nervous ’cause if ever I need to talk to some folk in “the world,” it’s NOW. I’m telling you, this ain’t no joke. But it’s all good, as it can be under the circumstances, and by that I mean the lifestyle adjustment and whatnot. I’m not actually located where I thought I’d end up and how I thought I’d end up in that other place, I ain’t figured it out yet. I mean, I must’ve had my eyes closed when I was reading my paperwork ’cause the place I thought I’d be ain’t typed nowhere on the papers. Damn! The image above was one I got when I was still in the states, so uploading is still a problem. But it’s nice to see a new image, ain’t it? I was so tired of seeing Beatrice and that one eye lash.

Anyhow folks, thanks for hanging out with me. You’re even much more appreciated with me being over here. I’m telling you!!! Shiiiit, it ain’t been all that easy and I was writing about other stuff ’cause I didn’t wanna be boohooing all over this blog. I didn’t wanna get on my nerves and yours too. I’m dealing with whatever challenges okay though. I mean, I’ve whined and all that to my kinfolk back home so I could spare you.

As my day is more than halfway over, I’m gonna water down my insides so it won’t feel like I’ve had sand for dinner.

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High and Low Roads

Posted in Introducing Totsy, tagged , , , , , , on April 19, 2012 | 34 Comments »

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

Herm Albright

*********

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

Winston Churchill

I’m surrounded by a lot of different folk from a lot of different places and you know, I don’t care where folk are from, you’re gonna find good and not so good folk, who will remind you of those other folk who speak your same language. I mean, we’re all the same kinda folk really, just in different locations and speaking different tongues of some sort. We’ll talk more about that later. As best I can, I’m trying to light up the blogosphere. Also, here’s a blast from the past. Have a good day, folks.

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Little Girl, Get Over Here So I Can Have A Sit-Down with You

Posted in Beatrice from Apt 7B, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2012 | 28 Comments »

In this life, you must be about the business of performing the work you were called upon to do. To be involved in anything else is time wasted. While I serve as your National Hollywood Gossip Correspondent, well, until my International License is approved, I’m also the Relationship Police. Since that says it all, I want to head right into my subjects for the day, people.

First of all, I’m truly sorry The Voice, which was Whitney Houston, has left us. I rooted for her comeback, because really, why would I not? Why would I have wanted to see her remain on a downward spiral and poke fun or play self-righteous? All of us have our demons. We all fall down but not as publicly, outside of my little mishap yesterday. Though, anyway…

I want to address you today, Little Bobbi Christina. I know you don’t know me but I’m very well aware of you. And your mother’s manager, who was surely “managing” alright. She’s the one who took the photo of your lovely mother as she lay for her last viewing. It was during the private viewing that this photo op took place, which then went on to the gossip rags. I know she’s family but she’s lowdown and dirty for what she did. Though. the bigger matter is this little relationship you’re carrying on, Little Bobbi.

You’re still a babe and need to hop a plane to Jersey to be with your grandmother. Sweetie, you don’t need to be down here in Georgia living and engaged to that young man. He’s been living as your brother and it should remain as such. I caught the interview you had with Oprah. I’m truly at peace that you’re at peace with your mother passing. That’s healthy because I know initially, it wasn’t. But Baby, what isn’t healthy is you parading all over town, hugging and sporting this 2-pound diamond. I want you to know, I’m carrying a good stock of switches should I happen upon you at some point. Both you and the boy will feel the wrath of the Lord should I be fortunate in meeting your acquaintance. As a matter of fact, I’ve been hanging out at Lenox Square Mall hoping we’d bump into one another.  Enough said, Baby  Girl. (Now braiding the switches)

And Ariana, as for the Jolies or Brads getting engaged? Well honey, all I can say is that’s more attention for the Leg Woman.

Angelina, well Sweetie, I’ve never been particularly crazy about you or your acting abilities but do your thing, if that’s what you feel is your gift to the world. Whatever. I’m just not into female action heroes, that’s all. Brad, I do want you to clean up for this wedding. Don’t let Angelina have you waiting for her at the end of the wedding aisle barefoot and wearing cutoff jeans, with your beard braided up and beads dangling from it. I can see this so clearly  and I so wish I didn’t. Honey, your mother raised you better than that. I know it’s challenging to be weird in Hollywood but be yourself and smell good at least. You don’t look like you smell too well, Baby. Other than that, I’m most appreciative of what you do. Oh, and should these nuptials actually take place, check your woman for those side splits to ensure we’re not flashed with another leg. As my good friend Totsy would say, “That’s ridamndiculous.”

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Roadside Kill

Posted in Beatrice from Apt 7B, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 16, 2012 | 29 Comments »

"Beatrice Jones" Copyright 2012 Totsymae

People, I hope you’re sitting down. I am. As a matter of fact, I’m all prayed up and laid out on the pew in the Lord’s house. I’m a tad distressed and out of sorts. You see, I was walking downtown on Peachtree and Auburn, not as a hooker or homeless person, but as someone who was legitimately trying to transact business. Well, a different kind of business than a hooker, anyway. And do you know what happened? Of course, you don’t, which is why I’m about to tell you.

It’s been a little on the nippy side down here, so what do I do? Hold your horses, I’m about to tell you as soon as I in and exhale…People, I tripped and fell on an uneven groove on the sidewalk. I’m a God-fearing woman, so if you will, imagine the exclamations in my head as I’m lying on the cold sidewalk and people gawking. No one lifted a finger to come to my aid. No real southern gents in the crowd, just spectators.

As you can see from this snippet of a photo, I’m far from being a size zero. And proud of it, thank you very much. Imagine, if you will, the planning it takes for a woman of my fineness to get up, with some semblance of dignity while my stockings (which I was wearing because of the weather) look as if a freight train’s run through them. Take a moment, please…

Usually, it’s quite hilarious when people fall. It gets deep into my funny bones but ask me if I even thought of smiling as I lay sprawled out like roadside kill. I’m truly done for this day and have no grapes on the vine to share with you from Hollywood. I’m scraped up really well and nursing my pride in the nearest safe haven that had an unlocked door. You’d be surprised at the number of churches that are on lockdown. The young minister that welcomed me inside was armed with a shotgun. I thought a wedding ceremony was in progress. Either that or, you know, Preacher Man was into that artillery/sex/bondage combination. There’s a name for people and things of that nature but of course, being a woman of saintly restraints, I wouldn’t know anything in those regards.

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A Slight but Major Dilemma

Posted in Everyday Shit, tagged , , , , , , , on April 14, 2012 | 43 Comments »

"But I Like This Hairstyle" Mixed Media on Board Copyright 2012 Totsymae

I’m outta my element. So, when I tell you I may as well be riding a dinosaur or having a me-Tarzan you-Jane conversation, don’t think I’m lying. Furthermore, rather than post on this blog, I may as well draw you a picture with writing inside a letter rather than post it here and send slow mail. When I tell you I can leave a post in edit mode trying to upload and return after 7 hours and it’s still loading, I ain’t even lied to you; it’s that bad.

So what do I do? I have to reuse the pictures I’ve already used for the time being. I know. It’s a problem some folk would wanna have compared to other stuff. And since some of you good folk are new with visiting, well, I guess it’s okay about reusing pictures. I tell you what though, ’cause I’m just that kinda person, I’m gonna try ever so often to upload anyway. Who knows, I may get a hotspot.

So, I’ve had some misadventures I must share with you at some point. Y’all won’t or maybe you will believe me when I tell you. I hate to leave you hanging on a string but I can assure you it’s worth the wait (Seems like I’ve said that to you before.)  And to be honest, I’m still trying to wrap my brain around these matters and find a sense of humor about it. I mean, you really have to step away from a situation to get the funny about it, don’t you?

So, rather than try to remember what’s happening at this particular time in my little life, I’m trying to get in the habit of writing things down, which I don’t like to do. I mean, some shit you don’t wanna remember but this, I must. All I can say is, I’ll do my best.

Unless I can think of some quick tale or limerick to share with you, I’m gonna hand you over to Beatrice for awhile. She’s gotten onto me about that portrait of her missing lashes on her left eye but there’s not a thing I can do to get the new portrait uploaded at this point.

Damn, my forehead’s itching! This water’s drying the hell outta me.

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What Really Matters in Life

Posted in Woman in the Mirror, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2012 | 50 Comments »

  • Chocolate during  that special time of month
  • Ignoring the dumb shit and especially folk who create the dumb shit (You know who you are but sadly, many of you don’t. Worst yet, are the folk who are entertained by starting the dumb shit and then hiding their hands behind their backs like they had no part in it.)
  • Moisturizing dry skin
  • Orgasms during sex
  • Working on yourself without advertising that you’re working on yourself. (Hell, the folk who know you best already know the deal. Stop trying to prove to everybody else you’re not who you really are. It’s all good.)
  • Leaving a nest egg for your children so they won’t be as broke as you were

Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae

  • Making your bed in the morning
  • Taking a shit or two every day (Well, you should really have one after every meal, folks. I highly suggest you see your family physician if something’s happening otherwise. You know me. Just looking out.)
  • Never running outta toilet paper
  • Making sure your nose is clear of boogers throughout the day
  • Ensuring your fly is zipped before leaving the bathroom (Very important when in public, folks)
  • Soap and water
  • Deodorant
  • Keeping your damn mouth shut sometimes. (Everything don’t dignify a response. And every battle ain’t worth fighting.)

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I Was Perfectly Fine ‘Til I Looked in the Mirror

Posted in Body Image, tagged , , , , , , on April 11, 2012 | 46 Comments »

Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

I’d like to think, for the most part, I’m all that. But be honest, folks. Sometimes you’re hot and well, those times you’re not, you need to fess up, okay? ‘Cause believe you me, somebody out there is willing to let you know. I’m one such person. And look at this way, the truth is a beautiful thing no matter how ugly it is.

Now, it’s not about being down and out on myself or nothing. It’s not. I just have to lay the facts on the table and play with what’s in my hand. Same as you, ’cause you ain’t all that on a 24/7 basis either. Need I remind you? Let’s lay that on the table while we’re at it (finger snapping and neck rolling).

Okay. So, I’ve relocated my little work area to this…I don’t know what it is. A dressing table that looks like a desk? Well, when I need to charge my little laptop, that’s where I sit if I want to keep working on something steady, right? So, I’m working right along and I’m doing real fine for the first few days, justa pecking along on this keyboard of mine.

Well, I got to picking on myself sorta.You know, with the mirror being in fronta me and all. Not in a bullying kinda way but I’m like, “Totsy, you got yourself a big ass head. Damn, girl!” I got to turning the damn thing this way and that. You know, just in case I’d caught myself a bad angle. I’m trying to cut myself a break with my own image staring right back and something said to me, “Uh uh, yo’ shit’s just big.” Then, I got to wondering if my shoulders got smaller and I can’t say they did or didn’t. I mean, my shoulders ain’t something I give a heapa attention to. Do you? Then, I started thinking of my shoe size, which is an 8 or 8.5, depending on the make and model and you know what? I said, “Totsy, you’d be in trouble if you had smaller feet. Your ass would tilt right on over.”

Be honest. What’s your physical liability? And do you need to take a rider out on your insurance for certain body parts? Hey, if you don’t know, you best ask somebody. Better yet, send me your photo and let a sistah hook you right on up, okay?

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I Do Believe A Clothesline Is In Order

Posted in Beatrice from Apt 7B, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 8, 2012 | 26 Comments »

"Beatrice Jones" Copyright 2012 Totsymae

Like Totsy, I was born and raised in the south. Unlike Totsy, however, I’m skilled in speaking standard English, just so you know the difference. Plus, I cook. Southern women like myself are a dying breed but I’m keeping hope alive down here and doing it well. Thank you very much.

I said all of that since *ahem* she’s failed so miserably in making proper introductions. Let me state it right here and now, I’m your National Hollywood Gossip Correspondent (NHGC). I’m all about what’s happening in the Wood and the Hood and I’m currently on location, at the home of Jennifer Lopez, famously known as J. Lo, Go Lo or whoever. I’m here to bring you the glory of the story. Pardon me for reporting in at this late date but (rolling neck and putting hand on thick and fine hip) as you can see, Totsy’s been a blog hog. This, we must put an end to, people. I take my job very, very seriously.

Now, in my hand, I’m carrying a fresh clothesline, bought from my local Target down south. Yes, goodness. You see, Jenny from The Block needs to stop and I’m here, at the security gate trying to get in. Evidently, she’s changed the code on me because we had a falling out when I was last here to lay some brutal frankness on her about this marital situation.

Ladies and Gents, this won’t be a cinch but I also have a box of Tide Laundry Detergent with me. Praise Procter and Gamble. My motives are pure  to cure and in her best interest. Amen to the fifth power. But I am strictly here to perform an intervention on this new relationship she has with Boy Toy. Simply put, this here clothesline will be going in Jen’s backyard. What I’m going to do is knock her out with this hammer, as I’m fully equipped, and I’m going to wash her with some of this Tide and a sprinkle of holy water I have in this little vial and hang her right side down on the line, people. You well know she hasn’t had a break since P Daddy, What Diddy or whatever he calls himself. You see, after I wring her out, and I know she won’t go down without a shout and a few bruises to my person but we, meaning me, must get her washed and on this clothesline to air out. Can I get a witness, an Amen or something in that arena?

Oh my, I hear people speaking in tongues…

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Holla Back

Posted in The Yin & Yang of It, tagged , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2012 | 25 Comments »

I’m having the darnest time uploading pictures lately. Not all too happy about that really but anyway…

And maybe it’s all for the best. I was trying to upload pictures of this not so slammin’ meal I cooked yesterday. The salad wasn’t all bad, to be honest. I mean, it wouldn’t win a photo contest or nothing but I quite enjoyed myself. It’s the fish that would’ve thrown you off. I’ve heard of blackened salmon but is there such a thing as blackened fish? Whiting, that is.  ‘Now, in my mind I’m thinking, all these so-called foodies out there don’t get it right the first, second or third time either. That would definitely be me.

Anyway, just to give you random tidbits, my internet, I kid you not, is slower than dial-up. Don’t even ask why or how long it’ll be that way. Don’t you just hate folk asking you questions and whatnot when you’re frustrated? Beatrice from Apartment 7B won’t be none too happy about this picture upload issue. Just know that I’ll explain the deal later. I have a lot to share with you good folks actually but all in due time. As it is, I’m making do with what I have, which means I’m grinning and bearing it, pretty much.

On a much different note, I was talking to this young woman and she was giving me the brevity of this little relationship she was in with this fella. Now, when I saw the fella and thought of her, I thought she was just a little something to do. Know what I mean? There are times the strangest of thoughts can run across folks mind and I know ’cause I’m a folk. Well, this last fella I saw I got to thinking on him one time ’cause from the way he talked, he’d seen a fair amount of women folk and my thought was, ‘His ole recycled ass.’ You know, just somebody going in and outta this and that hole. He just started looking nasty to me.

So when this little chick told me about this fella she was seeing, who she now says, “I don’t know what we are now,” I got to thinking about the song in the video below. Now, Beatrice from Apartment 7B is a staunch feminist. She’d have some shit to say to that young woman I, a part-time genteel southern woman like myself, would never say. (wink, wink)

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