"Free Spirit" Mixed Media on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae
Okay, say you’re minding your own business and you get a text from someone trying to set you up. Now, the other half of what you’re getting matched up with would make you a cougar. So, hypothetically speaking, he’s five years younger than you originally thought and you decide that won’t work. Okay? Then, he or she feels all bad ’cause it ain’t been easy to get hooked up, so you, hypothetically, decide that maybe you oughta see what this fella’s all about. Give the cougar life a try. Alright?
Well, before you knew his actual age, he or she begins the communication process and it comes primarily in the form of texting. There’s been a couple of calls but ’cause Cougar is a cougar, she picks up the phone to call. They talk. He calls back a couple more times, in the same day but no talking goes on after that. So hypothetically, in the meantime, you go into coughing fits on account of something like pollen catches a hold of you and it’s so bad, you lose your voice and strain to talk when you have to but you ain’t gotta be concerned about that with the young fella ’cause all he wanna do is punch letters in a damn phone. Hypothetically speaking, you assume it’s time to hang up your cougar hat. For two days, you get this he-so-sad story, which, hypothetically, is the time you made the call to say something like , ‘Okay, let’s talk.’
Anyhow, hypothetically, for about three days, you can’t talk but hell, he don’t know and never will ’cause his ass is still punching letters in the phone like he’s got an abbreviated mindset. ‘Cause the whole thing seems downright silly, you come into your mind when you’re feeling better and go to thinking, ‘What kinda shit is this? Is this how they do it?’ Shit, hypothetically speaking, you go back to minding your business since you weren’t interested in being no cougar in the first place.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
I hear you. I really do! But I admit that I’m also prone to texting rather than calling, not because I’m young (I’m not) but because I’ve never been great with phones. But I’m also old enough to realize when a phone call is called for, so to speak. They don’t need to hint twice. Well, maybe twice, but no more than that!
I like texting and do so a lot but there has to be a balance. Even if I had a better phone, I’d think a call was appropriate occasionally. I think I sound pretty good but then again, maybe I didn’t sound so hot to him, hypothetically.
Gorgeous flowers! Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think I’d be able to have an entire relationship 140 characters at a time.
Thank you.
I can’t do it either. It’s like playing video games or something.
Interesting times for you. Cougars and all!
Interesting indeed.
“cause his ass is still punching letters in the phone” … I’m feeling you, sister. These days it seems we have a relationship with someone’s thumbs.
And say, hypothetically, he comes texting a good morning today…Whatever, I say, hypothetically and carry on with my little business.
Funny Totsy. I don’t know how one procreats via cell phone — I wonder if that’s coming up.
Somebody’s thinking of it as we speak, I’m sure.
Just this instant I read that there are new tattoos that vibrate when your call rings — so you never have to miss another call! Ummm, what if you don’t want to take it?????
It’s all too much. I’m going to go write a letter to somebody.
Ewww, that’s a little creepy. Sounds like a potential health risk.
I think all tattoos are health risks, but then I’m from the days when only serial killers and sailors had them. But yes, this one sounds WAY over the top!
Love the picture, love the post. Damn cell phones. Why do they call them cell phones, wait, they don’t, “their” smart phones now. My kids and grandkids are so busy thumbing and swishin with their fingers they can’t hold a decent conversation. Hypothetically, dating a woman 12 years younger than one doesn’t work out except maybe in the bedroom..
Thank you.
One day at dinner, I noticed all of us had our phones at the table. The kids were texting occasionally and I thought this will never happen again. Not that I was the best example but I stopped them from using the phones. This is how a lot of families are having dinner, I’m sure.
I don’t like texting. Using the keyboard on a phone is just stupid unless you have itty bitty fingers. If a man has itty bitty fingers no matter how old he is, he probably ain’t for me. See, I think it’s a size thing, not an age thing.
It’s crazy and a strange way to continue learning about someone. You can get a call over with quicker than a text anyway. Texting is play around fun for me, not to establish a relationship.
–Haaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Welcome to 2012, Babe.
& Another thing, YOU ARE NOT A COUGAR! xxxx
I don’t like 2012.
Say, hypothetically speaking, you were a cougar, that hoarse voice would have been perfect!! (Doing my Eartha Kitt purrrrr!!!)
You know, I always want my voice to stay hoarse that way ’cause my own voice is too light. People think I’m a lot younger when they hear me on the phone and I like that sultry sound.
Hypothetically speaking, it sounds like, the makings of a movie, which I’m calling, “When Generations Clash.” Go see it. Might be more enjoyable than the hypothetical story you are engaged in. Less frustrating, anyway.
Write the script and I’ll play the lead. We’d be a YouTube sensation.
Hypothetically speaking, use the damned phone for a phone and stop texting me like you don’t know how to talk; better yet, lose my number – period.
That’s what I say, K. What’s wrong with him?
The same thing that’s wrong with a lot of people these days: Technology makes us lazy and skills that were needed to play the game have become atrophied from disuse, like using a telephonic device to actually talk to someone. It’s easier to hide one’s self behind a keyboard, to not reveal anything that might sour and/or break the deal and because forewarned is forearmed, you can text your ass off without giving the other person a real clue of who they’re dealing with…
I’m not great with texting or phone calls. I do a little better with e-mail, but I’d much rather talk in person.
If I were single and interested in meeting someone, I think I wouldn’t worry about age until after I’d gotten to know the person a little. Some people are 50 at 30 and others are still 13 at 60. Know what I mean?
Beautiful painting!
Yeah, you’re right about the age thing.
Thanks.
Funny as always.
No, no. Not funny. This is real life, hypothetically.
I love the way you write – you make me laugh. I can relate with all this cell phone stuff. My kids all have iPhones, and I was bemoaning the fact that I had to get through a number of screens to get to the dialing directory of numbers I called. One comment back to me was, “why do you need to use the phone anyway?” I guess when you have a thousand apps for everything else, talk is unnecessary.
Thanks, Phil.
I don’t know why people talk anymore. Maybe there’s a need to figure that out and stop the talking feature of the phone altogether. Nobody’s talking anyhow. I mean, they’re not, hypothetically, on my end.
Texting is a make do kind of communication. Talk to me if you have something to say!!
Exactly. Who’s got all day to be punching letters in a phone?
I am so glad my Bear is so much older than I am…and still I think he texts too much! I cannot imagine being in a relationship with my daughter…10,000+ texts a month. It is a wonder her thumbs aren’t flat.
Red.
Older is good but does he text? I mean, I like it but I like talking too. I can’t imagine being in a relationship with mine either. She doesn’t even talk to her friends unless they’re together.
Oh, no. He has to talk to me. I have a strict rule…6 texts (his plus mine) then talk. I type all stinking day long. I am not about to be talking to him via keyboard. PFT!
Red.
I’m the oddball out here. I love texting. It seems more polite to me which others seem to think is crazy but let me explain. A phone ringing in the quiet is interruptive and demands attention right now regardless of what the person receiving the call may be thinking or doing. A text waits patiently until the person chooses to check their messages. Isn’t that nice! And, you don’t have to use all of the southern manners we were bred to use in asking about the person and his or her family. It’s simple and effective. I tell people if they want a conversation we should meet in person. Perhaps it is a throw back to the earlier days when I worked in inside sales and had a phone attached to my ear all day. Text me please.
I love texting and talking. And not necessarily talking all the time. But hypothetically, how can people get to know each other that way in this hypothetical scenario? They don’t.
Right now, I have a choice – a man 6 years older who won’t go to have his knees treated so he can live properly. And an artist who’s 13 years younger (I flicked him off 25 years ago and here he is again!) I’ve spent most of my single life letting younger men down gently. I cannot get excited about older bodies – mine in particular!
Ooooh, playa, playa!
Tots – I had to look that up! Don’t you see…that’s what he needs to find with someone his own age!
Oh, oh. My age is coming through now and have I become non hip and uncool? What is “cougar life” ?
A cougar is a woman who dates a younger man. Like Demi Moore when she was dating Ashton Krutcher.
I prefer texting to talking, but I agree there should be a balance.
Grrrrr! back at you, Tots! These hypotheticals just go on dancing in our heads all night, don’t they? My husband is 16.5 years young than me–and he don’t keep me up all night, thank goodness! Now what is hypothetical, I ask you? (Tee,hee!)
What makes a cougar a cougar? Is it just her age or is it something else?
As for the way we communicate, don’t get me started. Hypothetically speaking, I’d love to go back to those nice, heavy rotary dial phones–the ones you could use as weapons in case someone got out of hand (now there’s an app you’ll never find on one of those flimsy iPhones).
Tots, I’m with you. Just easier to pick up the darn phone!