Everybody’s got a story but is it worth telling? I can’t say mine is or ain’t but I was sitting here thinking,’Well, what if it was?’ And if it was, what would I call it? Maybe I could run a few stories by you to read, I reckon, but a whole book? I don’t think so. But if I did, I came up on a few titles to sum up what this life of mine would be in the form of a book. Nothing fancy schmancy, of course. Just a little something to sum up my story ’cause you have to grab the reader in one hot second.
Today, I’m sharing my prospective titles IF I ever found myself with nothing else to do and stopped for a period of time to find myself interesting enough to talk about for 3oo or so pages. Maybe you’ll come up with your own ‘what if’ titles for yourself. I think it’s good reflective time. You might be more full of yourself than I am. I don’t know. I’d have to read your story and tell you if it was worth the effort you put into it or should you have devoted your time to something else. Not that I’m an expert or nothing.
Like, say for instance, if all you’ve ever done is gone to school, got knocked up and your mama was ranting in public about stuff she knows nothing about, Bristol, that ain’t a reason for a book. That’s just all the more reason for you to stop being fast in the tail and rush over to the local Home Depot for a carton of duct tape for your mama. Live long enough to have some dirt on you that we can really talk about, where you can share some real life lessons. For the time being, just go on a campaign to some schools and call it, Keep Your Legs Shut Real Tight.
I was in this writing group some umpteen years ago and this woman wrote a memoir. Not only did she write one but she had three of them suckers. I have to give her credit for writing three whole books as I still work on my one. I won’t take nothing away. Thing was, she was sitting there reading some pages and in the book, her character, who was her, was reflecting on some unfortunate events in her life. So, she said something about being abused. I was like, “So, when did that happen?” She said it was the time her daddy slapped her. I was like, “Was that the only time?” She said it was. I said, “That wasn’t abuse. You just got smacked ’cause your daddy wasn’t having no backtalk.”
Now, granted, I ain’t never been slapped. I know it must’ve hurt. And maybe I had it all twisted but I didn’t see it worth putting in the book since there was no series of abuse. I mean, shit, I couldn’t even remember the slap. She overplayed the whole situation, is how I saw it. I felt like slapping her for arguing the point but being that I ain’t into that sorta thing, I shut right on up. After all, I was in her house and eating her food since she was hosting the critique group. I won’t bite the feeding hand. Okay? She had a right nice spread on that table. Y’all would’ve enjoyed yourselves over there.
Anyhow, here are my ‘what if’ working titles for my memoir. While you’re looking, do feel free to share what the title(s) of the story of your life would be. Here are mine:
Ain’t This About Some Shit? – This is when I tell you about odd shit in my life; stuff that was done to me and dumb shit I’ve done to my own self; folk I’ve gotten caught up with and felt like I was a fish in a net. I hate when that happens, don’t you? Oh, don’t act like I’m the only one.
Tales of a Belle from Down Yonder – A coming of age memoir. I would start it off like this: Once upon a tale of a Belle from down yonder. I think that’s the beginning of a bestseller, given some fictional accounts here and there.
(Lordy Mercy) I’m in the Bathroom! – All the shit I have to put up with during my respite time; I take you into the upheavals of my life while I’m trying to use the toilet or take a bath. Why folk wanna talk to you while you’re in the bathroom, I never understood the attraction. Children are real good about this and I’d dedicate this one to mine.
What would be the title for the story of your life, folks?