"Musical Abstractions" Watercolor/Ink on paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae
“Marriage is not about age; it’s about finding the right person.”
Sophia Bush
Leroy’s eyes rolled in the direction of the couch from his chair, honing in on her. His wife, squatted over gathering shit of no importance. He studied her ass that had lost its form, imagining it underneath the terry robe. The very thing he’d fallen in love with, lost. To childbirth, so the story went. ‘Stead of soft pones in the palms of his rough labored hands nowadays, a beefy ass took its place. No tenderness there or in her eyes that turned on him when “Don’t even think I’m spreading tonight,” played like a honeyed melody in his ears.
(c)2012 Totsymae
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Totsy, I find this sad but true. You’ve inspired me to try this some time, the 100 word story thing, I mean. Yours reads like a poem. I liked this part especially, “‘Stead of soft pones in the palms of his rough labored hands…” So evocative.
Yes, unfortunately so.
Do write some to share. I’d love to read them.
And thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
LOVE that watercolor! Just Beautiful!!!
Thanks, Rose.
….at least he is still looking……….
Love the watercolour!
Patricia
It just so happens he is. None too happy about it though.
Thank you, Patricia.
Beautifuly written… and what a painting. Love all the colour.. Class !
Thanks. Pink does look good on a guy then.
absolutely!
So much for the soon to be dismissed cliche of “…someone with whom to grow old together.” But as being single for 26 years and 62, I also know the reality of the alternative: “growing old and alone.”
With your wit and skills, I don’t know what’s wrong with those women down there not catching on.
Beautiful. She still has him looking.
I’m reading a book now where the author describes an older couple who are still very much in love with each other. I know she modeled them off her parents who were devoted to each other.
Hmmm…This is just me watching too much Dr. Phil. I’ve come across very happy older couples and they make me smile.
“spreading” that came out of nowhere! I laughed out loud!
I couldn’t find another word, actually. I guess for her, and some women, that’s it boils down to.
Dunno, girl, not sure how you meant us to feel about this couple. I’m not liking Leroy, and wouldn’t be “spreading” for him either. But I do love the watercolor and the title is awesome.
They’ve got issues, for sure.
Thanks.
I’m always amazed at how much of a character you can show with so few words. Your painting skills at work in your writing I think.
Gaa! I just posted my own comment and then noticed you already said what I wanted to say – with much fewer words!
Yep.
Some folks have the ability to sketch a fairly complete picture in short order. You are definitely among those that can and do it with skill.
Tell me, does your skill in drawing affect the way you approach your writing? I’m very impressed with how much clarity you can do with minimal strokes, both on canvas and parchment – well computer screen I suppose.
Thanks, Phil.
As Shary mentioned, I do think synonymously when I’m doing one or the other. After my writers’ critique group beat me up several times, I guess what you say worked. Thanks for the feedback.
This is so beautiful. And so terribly sad.
It is sad. But you know, I don’t typically gravitate toward writing about happy people. A few shreds of happy is about all I can give them.
Love the painting, Totsey!
And your story is kinda sad but I had fun reading it! You’re talented!!!
Thank you.
Yes, it is sad. A relationship of complacency and resentment. Never a good thing.
You pack a powerful punch with 100 words.
Thanks. Just thought I’d try it.
Totsey, you’ve told the story of this couple’s life in a few words and… from youthful passion to the uneasy peace of middle age. This is pure Mya Angelou at her best. I choose that comparison because Angelou’s descriptions have a “soft” edge. Yes, there is pathos and loss, but there is also acceptance and a kind of mutual resignation that comes with age. While this snapshot clearly describes a class of people, it’s truth is universal. It is parochial in it’s use of the vernacular, but it could have been set in a drawing room. I have seen this kind of ability to write tight, carefully crafted descriptions of this life situation only among a handful of the great contemporary southern writers. I am astounded. We know this couple intimately. We know their history, their lifestyle, their hopes and dreams, their disillusionment, their weariness, their comfortable familiarity, their future…everything we need to know about them. And it has taken me far more words to describe what I saw than it took you to describe it. (Yes, I am from the same culture as you can see from my usage!) No, there is no overwhelming resentment here…just a kind of annoyance at things lost brewing underneath the surface. Without his thoughts and her sass here, their lifelong connection would be hopelessly lost. This emotional edge reflects the remnants of their youthful relationship..the very thing that keeps them together. It is necessary to an honest portrayal. How could it be otherwise? These are real people.
You’ve dissected well.
It’s interesting to see such a detailed analysis of this small piece and I guess because relationships can be so complex makes it compelling subject matter.
Thank you for drawing that Angelou comparison but I have to deliberate my worthiness of that. Many years ago, I did ask myself, “What is it I need to go through in my life to write this way?”
Well, Totsy, if everything you wrote before or write after this 200-word portrait is junk, you hit the gold here. Why NOT an Angelou comparison? I suspect she’d agree. Post it off to her and ask. I’ve never read a word that you’ve written before this. But I know, from seeing you lay down layer on layer of a life with each word and phrase, you are good. Don’t ever apologize for that. Keep writing.
I wonder, do you think most? many? some? relationships are like this? You put into so few words the deep angst of two people–and I think it might be universal angst. How do you do that?
I think some are. It’s on Dr. Phil’s Show.
Maybe it’s my own discontentment in relationships and trying to push myself creatively. Yeah, that’s sounds about right.
You’ve said it all. Kind of sad but so true and also comforting.
Comforting? Hmmm….Help me to see what you see.
And it is sad. It’s life. (Shrugging shoulders)
Love the painting. It is absolutely perfect with this 100 word post. My goodness, I did not know you had such conciseness within you. That ol’ guy is just way out of luck, isn’t he?
Thanks, Granbee. I think doing a few flash fiction pieces of longer length helped with this.
Not a piece of luck with this guy. He’s doomed.
Thanks for the beautyin your art and stories that you share because of it I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award.
Thank you. I’m honored.
What a talented artist you are. Your 100 word story? It could be a new course at university Truth 100!
Thank you, Narelle.
I’d like to teach that course.
Pr’haps the ole boy can trade-back the child birthed for the
pones he fell in love with?
Play me a riff of “Musical Abstractions”, splendid Totsymae!
cheers catchul8r molly
I think you’ve solved Leroy’s problem.
Thanks for hanging out for the song.
Totsy, I love your 100 word piece! It’s like a lyrical poem, lady, and to top it off you have that sax players whose musical notes must wax and wane incredibly. I love the look on his face that depicts just how immersed he is in his music.