“Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.”
See, I feel like I can address you as such since I’ve been pining over you since A Soldier’s Story. I know, I resoluted to not do that this year, being that you’re STILL married and don’t seem to be going nowhere. What’s wrong with you? Everybody else in Hollywood’s “going” elsewhere. Not that I would’ve respected or wanted you all that much if you’d done something like what Kim Kardashian did to Chris but…Shit, I would’ve gotten over it after I saw Training Day, actually but since it never happened…
Speaking of going places, why you never swung by the house when you went to visit your son at Morehouse College? I know you didn’t know where I lived, let alone that I even existed, but I was expecting you to utilize telepathy or whatever you do to get in character the way you did in Hurricane and swing my way. I don’t understand. After so many years since seeing A Soldier’s Story, my patience is wearing real thin, Denny. Since you haven’t managed to find a psychic out there in Hollywood (’cause I know you can afford the best) who can put a finger on my address through her crystal ball, I’m gonna make my way out there come this time next week so I can see if you’re really serious about staying with Priscilla or whatever her name is. I mean, I know sometimes folk don’t always match up right even after 20-some odd years but know that you can be straight up about the direction I want us to go in, face-to-kissy-face. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this, Boo. Alright?
Now, just so you know, I don’t stalk anybody. You are my first. Please, don’t have one of those type fences that’ll electrocute me like the one Herman Cain was boasting about to zillions of folk across the globe and had everybody’s eyebrow raised high at his ass. I’d hope you wouldn’t be so cruel underneath all that sexiness. Besides, electric wouldn’t look good on me. Though chances are, with me being 5’4″ and all, I may get stuck somewhere around the top part of the gate, where those steel bars stick out real sharp-like, which, at that point, I’m gonna need you to buzz a sistah in real quick, okay?
Me (Use your powers, damn!)