"To the Market" Acrylic on Paper. Copyright 2012 Totsymae
I was reading a blog post that Michael Jordan’s gonna be tying up a knot with his lady friend and I’m real glad I came across that. Now, the article suggested a prenup to Michael, if he had to go this kinda distance with her. Being that Ex-Wife made off pretty good, I suppose Michael would wanna keep whatever he’s got coming in to himself, should things go haywire. I suspect him to be a sharp man since he ain’t broke like a lot of athletes that end up with overdraft fees on their checking accounts.
From where I’m sitting, it can be a real awkward moment should, say, I was marrying up with some rich man and he handed me the pen to sign some papers that say I can’t have none of his shit no more should we part ways. Even more awkward should I try to negotiate, “Well, can I at least have the Porsche and the paid-out beach-front property and…?” It’s strange, ain’t it? I guess folk who date folk like that expect a prenup to be part of the package.
Then I got to thinking about my own shit. You know, this fella I dated from way back, maybe a couple of years or so after my own marriage went further south, been trying to pop his head back in mine but I ain’t stuttin’ him, y’all. I mean, he’s a right nice fella but that’s about all I can say on that. Don’t go thinking I’m being mean-hearted on account of me blogging about not wanting him. I can say what I want and don’t want on my blog, can’t I? After all, I did attach niceness to his personality and I can also say he’s a good conversationalist but.
Let me put it to you this way, folks. I’m getting sorted over here to fly out and I ain’t trying to make no deals like if-you-get-back-and-you-ain’t-married-and-I-ain’t-married-we-gonna-get-married. Can’t remember the last time I even saw him and he’s coming at me with some lazy ass deal over the phone. What kinda shit is that? That’s like telling me if we ain’t found who we really want, we gonna settle for each other. Maybe it’s just me though ’cause I think very thoroughly about matters most of the time and I don’t think myself to be a stupid person. I mean, I’ve done some stupid shit from time to time but believe you me, folks, I try to put a period on that. Okay? I ain’t trying to trip on no I dos with him. Shiiiiit. I ain’t that hard up.
Plus, I have to consider what I need to protect on my end over here. Hell, talking about Michael needing a prenup, I got my own ass and sets of things I need to scribble down on a piece of paper too. I’ve got a good running washer and dryer. All these books gotta be worth something with the buy-back program on Amazon. I ain’t even mentioned the ceiling fans that’ll blow the devil himself up outta here to yonder, as though God Himself was on his heels. I ain’t playin’. And I’ve got a spinning spice rack. I don’t need nobody trying to make off with my shit. Hell. He better take that deal to the next contestant ’cause he had to be puffing on some good ass weed when he fixed his mouth to say that to me.
Hmph…Got me on this blog talking to y’all about dumb shit.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Ah, I just realized that it was not Michael Jackson after reading the whole post. Oh God
Lolzzzzzzzz
Greta post Tots
Okay. Now I know for sho’ I ain’t trippin’. Even you’re laughing at his butt.
You don’t need this guy you speak of in this post, drop his ass like a flaming brown paper bag of feces. If you were not my twin sister from another mister, I’d come over there and sweep you off your young ass feet. You are as talented as you are sexy, you will find a man who makes your knees weak, and if you don’t…I will send you a Trojan Twister…http://www.trojanvibrations.com/default.aspx?gclid=COKugbWZyq0CFQQCQAodk0RejA
Now don’t worry about no Pre-Nup either. You sell enouh books, and paint your ass off, you’ll be set.
Haha!
Okay, so now I know for sure this ain’t how women are propositioned for marriage on the for real. And I’m about ready to be “sot” too.
Uh huh…you bout ready to “Squash” his ass.
Your posts always bring a smile to my face,
and usually, i hear myself saying, “hey, i KNOW this guy!!”
Yeah… the prenup… a rich man’s problem.
xoxo
I gonna have that problem one day.
What man can resist a rack that spins and is full of spice? Makes for good cooking I’ll bet. I’d have to agree Tots – you keep the rack, no matter what. And for sure, people need to step up their game when it comes to courting and proposing Tots. WTF – That was a lame-ass proposal. By phone??? Yikes.
I guess I’m just lucky that way.
Well all i can say is “dumb shit is better than no shit at all.” Nice painting.
Thank you. Yeah, some women never get a proposal…Ahem, ahem..bout to choke over there.
This guy sounds like the guy who said to me ‘It would be nice if we got married….But don’t get excited about it…I was just saying….’ I could have kicked his behind….because I wouldn’t have considered him if he was the last man on earth…..
Some guys!!!
Don’t get excited? He thought very highly of himself and this favor he was offering. (smh)
Where do I begin? Okay, at the beginning. That painting rocks! Big time!
Now, MJ is a fool. He’s a gambler and he’s got issues. Yeah, a prettier man was never walking on this earth, but pretty is as pretty does, and MJ seems to favor the dumb shit.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t hook up for a quick rendezvous with him cause I’d be lying if I said that. But he’s not a keeper and that’s for sure.
My gay doctor and I used to joke that if we both turned 60 and neither one of us had hooked up yet, we’d get married. Believe me, I was not figuring on him to change his ways or getting my free pap exam once a year from him.
I think we all need someone who brings something to the table. If I invite some man to dinner, I want him to bring the wine and the flowers, and I don’t mean Two Buck Chuck either. He could also walk in with a little chocolate torte or chocolate covered strawberries. If I’m thinking about a relationship it’s the same thing. I got my shit. What good shit is he bringing to it? If the answer is “nothing”, then it’s going nowhere. Period.
The “MJ’s” of the world are created by us. I don’t know if MJ was/is a fool or not based on his personal relationships with women, I don’t know him as well as Ms. Medrano appears to know him, but I do know we who worship a person’s ability to sink a jump shot, or make a 30 foot put, or hit a baseball out of a ballpark, we make these “hero’s” who then start thinking their shit don’t smell like shit. We create the Kardashians of the world as well. What man or woman could or would ignore chanting screaming male/female fans at the level of an “MJ”? Fool or not, anyone worth two dollars should get a Pre-Nup in this day & age of the two week marriage.
Thank you.
I think I read somewhere that he was gambling pretty heavy but I don’t know how valid it is or isn’t. The fact that he has a history makes it newsworthy. Michael’s not all that good looking anymore. At least, not to me. But I’d never been into him like that anyway.
Yeah, need to bring more than a good conversation, that’s for sure.
I’m thinkin’ about that gold mine that I’m sittin’ on with Amazon offering that book buyout! Ummm And I’d like to be haning’ on to my set of 20 whisks too. As usual – lmao!!!
Imagine what it would cost to ship those books to Amazon. Yeah, we’re in the money. alright.
Listen, if I had all your books and stuff, I’d want a pre-nup too!
Didn’t hear about MJ’s impending marriage, haven’t been hearing much of him lately. Seems he’s keeping a lower profile. Wish him the best.
He’s not exactly newsworthy anymore. The news I last heard before the marriage thing wasn’t pretty bad but I won’t say anything since I wasn’t there to witness it.
It isn’t so much the tale, as the way you tell it – and the way you tell it, I am not so sure he’d know how to sign his name to that pre-nup
.
Thank you.
Fans and spiceracks are way too valuable to get lost in the post-nup scramble, right? Not to mention our own integrity with the attendant rights to sass all we please, right? Tots, you KNOW you make me laugh myself into the ol’ folks home, right? But I also want you to know you really screw my head back on straight almost every day of the week. “Nice” just don’t cut it when it somes to filling an order for “soulmate”. I am blessed–I have no outstanding orders in that category. My husband sasses me on Facebook; and I laugh harder than anybody else! Either I am so senile it don’t take much to send me over the rails; or, I really am MOST blessed among women! Either way, I am HAPPY–so there!
You like to laugh, so it may come pretty easy for you.
Just stick to your guns and take no shit!
I’m sticking. It’s not something I’m on the fence about.
The whole pre-nup thing is pretty distasteful. I know that many elder couples agree to it amicably if they have children from a prior marriage to ensure their respective children to not get their inheritances blocked either by divorce or death of the other .
I imagine it may not be an easy conversation. I sure wouldn’t want to be fighting over “stuff.”
Whew. You’re nicer than I am. I’d have told that guy as long as there’s batteries I’m all set thanks and whoops, there went the connection.
I had to let you know how hard I’m laughing at the battery thing – so on the money!!!!
Your painting “To The Market” so suits this screaming funny post. Love your southern style big time. I wrote about pre-nups once. Nothing like your post. Still giggling here, thanks for the “Tots take” on yet another life-ism.
Thank you, Aurora.
PS
Thank you!
And that painting is a beauty, I love, love love looking at it
Funny, funny post, Tots. Loved the ceiling fans and the spice rack. Sounds like a guy asked me out a few years ago by saying he was lonely and was looking for someone to go to the pub with every night. Think he was going to ask the neighbour’s poodle next.
Yeah, it kinda does feel like the dog is the next option.
Funny, funny stuff. I once dated a law student who asked me to type a paper about pre-nups. I did and realized well, maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t the guy for me. And I was right. But he did introduce me to my husband, so all is good. Poor rich folks, though. What they have to go through …
You got something out of the deal. So, he was pretty okay after all.
First of all, I LOVE this painting. It’s so fluid with great colors. Second, for the washer/dryer alone, you should have a pre-nup. Because otherwise how will you know if they want you for you or for your appliances? Great post!
Ms. Monica,
I pre-judge a woman based on her appliances!!!! Washer & Dryer, Kruieg coffee maker, Jenn Air stove, Subzero-Wolf fridge, the best cutlery available, and lets not forget a slammin blender and ice maker. Is she ain’t packing a pair of Bosch washer/dryer combination…I’m outta there.
So, there needs to be a remake of Material Girl called Material Guy with you in it, I see.
Material Appliance Guy
So, it’s like that? You’re down with A-P-P. Gotcha.
My point exactly! He may be after the double load feature or the my energy saver dryer. It’s so hard to know what people are really after.
Pre-nups. Marriages used to be property deals way back when and there was no getting out of them. Then they turned in to lovey-dovey thing and getting out became possible. Now, when people have money, marriage have become some odd mixture of the two, with the getting out made easier and more acceptable. It’s confusing.
But if my ex called and said let’s give it a go because there’s nothing better out there, I’d say, “expand the search, Buddy.”
“Expand the search, Buddy.”
I like that, Lorna.
We love MJ in NC – prenup or not. And your painting is fantastic which is reason enough to insist on one yourself! Don’t undervalue yourself Totsy.
Thanks.
Oh, I’m watching my purse or somebody else will. Okay?
Writingfeemail….that is pure genius in choosing a name.