Should you ever see me in public and I, unfortunately, happen to have a booger in my nose, let a sistah know what’s up. I tend to think I’m cute and try to work IT when I step out from time to time. We’re in the cold season and shit will happen. Do know that if I knew I had the damn thing, I’d handle the matter but if you see it and I don’t, it then becomes your responsibility to make that information available to me. If you ain’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. Okay?
Being the southern belle I am, I tend to say good morning to folks. When I say it to you, open your mouth and show me some courtesy. You know you heard me. I saw you looking in my mouth and you still didn’t open up yours to acknowledge me? Just know that should unkind words hit the rumor mill about you, I started it.
On the other hand, should you say good morning and not hear me respond, it could very well be that it’s not a particularly good morning for me. Do not, under any circumstances, say something like, “GOOD MORNING,” in a harsh tone for me to speak back. The world don’t revolve around you. If I’m in a funk, it revolves around me at the moment. Keep in mind that my southern bell may be off and it’s not likely that speaking harshly to me will turn it on.
I don’t know why it never worked out visually for me to see women folk in public wearing sweat pants and sneakers but please, don’t do it. I, folks, despite my keep-it-real attitude, am a bit of a snob when it comes to this sorta thing. I will look at you really hard and wonder if you were raised better. I don’t care if you’re slim as a butter knife, sweats and sneakers ain’t the look you wanna have should a car back out from a parking space and hit you. Take the time to fix yourself up before you wind up on the YouTube in a compromising position. The last thing you want is me somewhere in the camera saying, “I told yo’ ass.”
If you so happen to visit my blog during a blog hop we’ve mutually joined in, don’t leave me a comment saying, “I’m stopping by for the blog hop,” and be on your merry way. That looks a tad flighty to me. Plus, it’s a waste of your time. You don’t have to sit and have a longwinded conversation with me but say something relevant. You don’t even have to mention the blog hop, as far as I’m concerned. Understand that I’m as interested in you as I want you to be in me. Extend your thoughts in a way that’ll mean something to both of us.
If we’re ever riding in a vehicle together and I happen to be the driver, let me be the driver. I took Driver’s Education in high school and while I managed to pull a ‘D’ from the class, I’m an expert after having a few accidents, not all of which were my fault. I can sense a cop on the side of the road and know when to slow down. That means I don’t need you yelling and scaring the shit outta me, telling me to go down on the brake.
Should I ever visit your home and, God forbid, you’ve got yourself a doll collection in a reserved room of your house, know that I’m no more interested in it than I am of Freddy Krueger being my boyfriend. I have never had a thing for dolls and I’m even less into a buncha them piled in a room together. Understand that I will stop being your friend should you ever introduce them to me. I’m a playful kinda person but I ain’t into the strangeness of no dolls. Not to be funny or nothing but I will assume you to be afflicted with some kinda mental illness should you invest in all of these fake folk taking up square inches in your home.
It may be best that you don’t offer me any dairy, sodium, sugar or flour-based foods if I ever come to your house. While I love me some sweets and whatnot, I’ve had to give up so much in the food area. You’d be safe in offering me a bottle of water, raisins, or unsalted nuts. Don’t think I’m haughty and get offended. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve had to be a lot more conscious about my food choices that’s sending me toward veganism. Yeah, one of those high maintenance type folk who looks hungry all the time.
Now, if I can be of any assistance at all in helping you to fulfill resolutions on my end for you, feel free to hit me up with a comment. Let’s get this thing right so we don’t rock each others boats as we make this a happy new year.