I’m taking the idea of what I won’t do in 2012 from my virtual partner in crime, Linda Medrano of, The Good, The Bad, The Worse.
Now, as you well know, setting standards for yourself is a good way to evolve into something you ain’t already. I’m all about trying to improve myself and here’s how I’m gonna go about it in the new year:
I won’t stop watching reality TV’s, Basketball Wives or Braxton Family Values. I like these shows and I readily admit, there are some folks in Hollywood whose business I wanna be all up and in there with. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind finding another reality show I could tune in to. I have a vested interest in these shows and while I know it’s a shame, I’m cool with it. I don’t know about you but my glass is half full. One day, something positive will evolve from my watching constant bitching and cat fights.
I won’t keep calling my neighbor across the street Mary and wonder if she ever gets visitors. Besides, I don’t know what her name is and long as she’s being a good citizen, it ain’t none of my business what’s going on at her place. What I will do is say nevermind to myself when she gets to giggling loud with that dog of hers and get my ass a life so I can leave hers alone.
I won’t call my next door neighbor Charlie anymore. He told me his name is Ronald. Who am I to make him out to who I want him to be? I need to sit my ass down somewhere and stop picking on folks during idle time. I aim to do just that, I promise but forgive me if I backslide. I’m only human.
I won’t watch any Lifetime movie past 10 pm. The later it gets, the crazier those women become. As much shit as I talk, those women scare me.
I won’t think no more about how many folk are gonna show up to my funeral. It’s not like I know when it’ll happen or that I can do something about what the numbers will be like anyhow. Plus, it’s shallow and narcissistic for me to think that way. I don’t know when that became so important to me but I’m gonna erase that thought from my head and stop thinking who I would or wouldn’t want there.
I won’t keep wondering why every time my family plans a get together, there’s major chaos over small shit like food. I need to respect the fact that they’re tightly wound into their dysfunctionalities and sometimes I could swear I was randomly dropped off in the family until I get to letting dumb shit take over my mind too. From now on, I shall remember that most of the discord is on account of it being a bunch of women folk trying to run shit and the common ground of bitching is actually the super glue that’s holding the family unit together.
I won’t stick a pin in my shirt to cover my cleavage in 2012. That’s tacky and showing a little cleavage is one of my best assets. I need to remember that blouses made in China tend to highlight that part of my body. It’s not me. It’s them.
I won’t eat anymore cheese. I’m lactose intolerant. After eating this forbidden food, I feel pretty miserable and I’m tired of feeling that way. Besides, cheese has always smelled like butt to me and I don’t have an affinity to eating ass.
Lastly, I won’t covet Denzel in my mind anymore. He’s a married man and I respect the institution of marriage. If it ever got a little rocky for he and Wifey, just know that I would be there for him. I’m nice and considerate that way. Everybody, with the exception of folk who don’t like me, always say that and I didn’t have to pay them off to say it.
Now, I know you’ve had your fill of to-do lists but what will you not do next year?