This is no lie. I would see the movies back when I was a kid and think, damn, them some cool cats right there. I mean, logistically, it could’ve worked but on the other hand, I had this huge fear of jail time. I even thought it would be cool to be a Mafia wife. I know. Probably wouldn’t have me mixed up in there. I mean, I do talk too damn much. That’s a trip that I’d even aspire to shit like that. Like, I think it’s so cool those Mafia wives don’t have to do nothing much but cook, have an Italian/New York accent and have sex.
Google Image enhanced in Photoshop
I know. I’ve got twisted ways of thinking. Then again, it ain’t the worse thing and you know Maya Angelou was a madam. I aspired to follow in her grand footsteps. It’s a trip, what the mind thinks. You know, I was thinking of having whores walking on each side of me and in the same day, reading shit like Ntozake Shange, James Baldwin, John Steinbeck and the like. So, it’s like the mind is repetitively asking, school? Pimp? School? Pimp?…The brain is one helluva machine.
You ever hear folk say some of the most ridiculous shit and think, ‘Now, how in the hell did she fix her brain to come up with that?’ Really, folks are amazing no matter how idiotic they may appear. I mean, just the idea that they challenge other folk to scratch their heads and ask themselves, ‘What the hell?’ is extraordinary in and of itself if you really sit down to think about it. The thing of it is, everybody’s got something to offer and most of us have special things we can contribute in the way of a special gift we were put here for.
I won’t lie to you. I still ruminate on the thought of at least dressing up in a pastel-colored suit with a wide brim hat, only with men, who I’d call my mofos, on each side of me. If I could just have a snapshot taken and fabricate all kinds of tales about how I broke into the game from a woman’s perspective and had mofos bringing me back my money, I’d be able to scratch one more to-do off my bucket list. Imagine, if you will, how I could light up the faces of folk should I end up in assisted living or something like that. I mean, all them gathered around, wheelchairs, beds, walking with canes and all to hear about my dangerous, yet lavish lifestyle of pimpng my mofos. Shiiiiit, I’d be the life of the party. No doubt!
What about you, folks? Ever had any wild, unconventional dreams about how you’d like to spend your future?
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Beam me up, Enterprise.
Okey dokey, I got a man on my left side. Any bidders?
When I was little I wanted to be a cat-burglar rappelling down walls and through windows like they did in the movies. But, yeah, the thought of jail time was a real downer.
That would’ve been a cool job, climbing those walls too. Dang, life would
be so much better if it were like the cartoons.
With your talent for delegating and my thinking that if I want a job well done I’d better do it myself we’d been a madam and her whore made in heaven. Snag being that I don’t know how one can be a whore. Obviously the money is good. But the customer! It’s one thing to be kitted out by Richard Gere another to walk down your average high street surveying those you may have to service. Let your imagination not run riot – you may have to throw up.
U
Oh my, Bitch on the Blog, you’re painting a real picture here and I fear
I may not get my little enterprise going after all.
A bodyguard. Then everything’s legal.
Yeah, I see your point there. Hmmm…
When I first saw a “James Bond” movie, I wanted more than anything to be “James Bond”. Double O 7 had it all. Adventure, Romance, (with girls, but I didn’t care), Travel, Nice Clothes, Guns, Gadgets, and that Accent! I really thought he was the epitome of glamor! I never wanted to be one of those pretty chicks who bedded him and then got killed. I wanted to be the MAN himself.
I loved the early “Blaxsploitatin” movies. The good/bad dude would come on the screen in his fine threads and the whole audience would cheer. This was no black guy playing a prisoner or “the help”. He was the hero! And for the first time, we saw him in all his splendor. He was fast, tough, and very appealing. I think “Shaft” was one of my favorites ever!
Being a “pimp” wouldn’t be a bad gig. It would be a lot better than being a “ho”, now wouldn’t it. No nasty men to “service”. Just buying clothes, keeping your “mofo’s” and “posse” in line and counting your money. Yeah, that cash money probably is the root of all evil. Of course, if all “johns” looked like Richard Gere, or even that British dude actor, Hugh Grant, or Charlie Sheen, it might not be such a bad job. But I have the feeling I probably wouldn’t be in the mood most of the time, anyway.
Oh yeah, that accent would kill’em!
Shaft was cool and there was a remake of it that I still haven’t see. I think
Samuel L. Jackson was in it. Don’t quote me on that, however.
“But I have the feeling I probably wouldn’t be in the mood most of the
time, anyway.”
You’re way too funny for me. LoL!!
Let’s face it Totsy. What most men ask for is not something I’d be in the mood to do with a guy I just met. And I’d never even consider it before lunch. Who would? Come ten o’clock at night, my feet would be hurtin’ and it’d be cold outside and all I’d really be in the mood to do is to get home and take off my shoes and hoochie mama clothes and put on my nightgown and robe and turn on television. I’d just not be a success as a hooker.
No, you wouldn’t be successful at all. I mean, as much as I love you,
I couldn’t even hire you. LoL!! Maybe it would be best for you to
answer the phone, since it’s an off-your-feet and in-the-office
kinda job.
I’m not even considering your comment to me to be a bit negative. In fact, not being good hooker material is sort of a plus as I see it. I think I’d just go back to designing presentations and writing proposals. I’m good at that and I can wear cute clothes and don’t have to let my boobs or butt hand out while I’m doing it. I can even wear my high heel shoes when I’m working and since I’m not walking on pavement for hours, that would be fine. I can go to the big old “conferences” before the proposals are prepared and sweet talk the powers that be finding out what they “really really” want the project to be. Then I can pop their own words right back at ‘em in the proposal. They always have nice pastries at those conferences and that’s all I’ll be putting in my mouth too! Yeah, if I wasn’t fat and old and lazy, that’s what I’d go do instead.
See, that’s why I’m into hiring men folk. They’re more willing to do
things and I won’t have to be dealing with whether they’re in the mood
or not. I got a sign I’m doing up now, called Mofo Yo’ Money.
Hehehehe!
When I lived in DC, I went on a date and the man asked me to be a Dominatrix. Now, I am far from that, on the other end of the spectrum. But, damn I thought about it for half a second, let me tell you. He offered me lots of money and said his friends would be “clients”. Mind you, no sex would be required of me either. When I told one of the guys I worked with, he offered to be my bodyguard. LOL! Yep, lots of money!
Girrrrlll, you should’ve done it. That would’ve been a easy gig if all you had
to do was act a part. You would’ve had to do it had you been working for
me. LoL!!!!
I wanted to do that pimp thing… right up until I saw “Superfly” – that took care of that! When I was younger, I probably did have some “unconventional” dreams of the future but now that I’m in that future, I’m happy to be in it and doing the best I can going forward.
Now, I like how you summed it all up, K Daddy. I couldn’t have
said it better.
When I was a kid, too young to play on the Junior Football team, I was the “water boy”; carted water on and off the field to keep the players hydrated. I was always in search of some way to simplify the task. I, too, wished I was a pump.
Tough job you had there, Ron. I would’ve been looking for simplifying
that task too. Hmmm…But I guess somebody’s gotta do the tough stuff.
Interesting profession you wanted to be. Don’t remember hearing about that at career day at school. Nope, nothing crazy here that I wanted to do or be when I grow up.
just stopped by from 6WS; may the rest of your weekend be a good one!
betty
No. I was just an outta the box kinda girl. Thanks for hanging out.
—I wanted to be like Hemingway living in France or Spain….Hanging out in some charming flat smoking, drinking red wine & writing wonderful words on some old type writer…..
Xxx Love your words, Tots. x
Now, I wanted started having those kinda dreams too; sitting at the
And thank you, as always, for your kindness.
sidewalk cafe, smoking thin cigarettes and wearing a tam while I
wrote and bickered with other writers about the craft. We could’ve
met up way back then.
I just found your site and think I’m in love. I’ll definitely be back.
Also, a friend and I just started a new writing challenge. We would be thrilled if you’d come check it out. http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com
Thank you.
I’ll check out the writing challenge. Thanks for inviting
me.
I could tell ya how I fix my brain to come up with ridiculous shit. First, you need to see a special Doctor; tell him you suffer from pain; and he will recommend special herbs, which will then…….
Oh, now you really do come up with some STUFF. LoL! I wouldn’t
mind a few of them herbs myself.
This is awesome. Maybe the most random Six Words entry I’ve seen in awhile and I love it. Especially calling your men your “mofos” – brilliant.
I can’t remember any bizarre career aspirations but I do remember suggesting “Jesus” as a name for my new baby brother. They went with Rob.
Thanks for playing 6WS!
Thank you, Cate. Participating is fun and I like meeting other
folks out there. Now, I’m kinda glad they went with. Nothing
against Jesus or nothing but I think that name works a little
better in Latino countries.
I’m suffering from dream imagination failure.
Cheers!
JzB
I could see you now. Had the image of Della Reese in Harlem Nights (?) in my mind as I thought of you with your mofos at your side.
Me, I wanted to be a madam, I wanted to be in charge, call the shots. It’d be all classy, like the Mayflower Madam and Heidi Fleiss. I was surprised when I read about Maya Angelou. Never would have thought it but it’s part of life. It’s been around forever and it’s not going anywhere.
Oh, yeah. Della’s my girl and is Pimp No. 1 in that movie. Lol!!
Being a madam is classier ’cause it’s hard to suspect them. They
look like everyday folk, only fancier. A pimp wears clothes that
holler ‘I’m the coolest mofo on the block and you outta work for me.’
Yeah, Maya was a madam. Now, she’s singing that Kool Moe D song,
How You Like Me Now?