Okay. Here’s another real-life person. What I realize in painting up these folks, I’m portraying more personality than who they are/were physically. This new person looked very young for her 35 years, so that’s what I’m remembering here.
Other than that, I realize I’ve been messing around with this Create Art Every Day concept and as you can plainly see, I haven’t exactly kept my word on that or NaNo. I’m too deliberate. To a fault, I must say. So, the first step to recovery is admission. I really thought I could swing it ’cause about five years ago, I consciously created 60 pieces in 30 days. But I have to say, I was also teaching myself watercolor and dabbling around. I have to make this right some kinda way but —Hold on folks, I hear my phone going off…
Mixed Media on paper. Coyright 2011 Totsymae
Ringa- damn ring! Ringa-damn ring! Ringa-
Totsy: (Rolling my eyes when I see Donna’s name on the Caller ID) Hello?
Donna Damitte (silent e): Hello, Ms. Totsy (fake cough, sniff, sniff, breathing heavy through the mouth. Another cough…breathing heavy again in my ear after all that acting and shit) I’m calling to let you know I won’t be at work tomorrow. I’ve come down with something all of a sudden and I just wanted to let you know early, so somebody can work for me.
Totsy: Oh, really now… So, you gonna take your ass to a doctor or keep smoking weed, drinking and acting like you can’t afford a co-pay?
Donna Damitte: I really am sick this time, Ms. Totsy. My husband took my temperature and it’s 101. I can’t seem to (cough, sneeze, sneeze bitch sneeze and keep lying!). Can’t seem to stop coughing or keep any food down. I’ve been throwing up and my bowels are loose. I’m sitting on the toilet as I speak.
Then I hear a car racing past and some man in the background say something like, “Come on, tell that bitch you ain’t coming and that’s that.”
Donna Damitte: (Go to coughing and throwing some whooping-like sound in there and putting her hand down her throat to throw up in my goddamn ear!).
Totsy: (Go to thinking, ‘Now, if I had the power to reach through this damn phone, I’d strangle this bitch! Don’t nobody get majorly sick every other damn week.’ I clear my throat and tame the beast.) Look, Donna. I’m trying to expand my marketability in the workplace. You know, move up the little ladder here and basically be the shit who knows the shit. Tell me, and I’m coming to you ’cause you’re so talented and all, but how do I transition into being a dumb ass? Can you help me with that? (Smiling as I wait for this new information that will change the course of my life.)
Donna Damitte: Why, what do you mean, Ms. Totsy? I really am sick. It feels like I’m gonna die right here on this toilet. (Another car zooms past.)
Totsy: Look Damitte, I ain’t referencing your sickness right now. I’m merely trying to make moves in certain circles. I feel so confident that you’re the one who could hip me on all the qualifications for being a dumb ass. I simply don’t think my current position is working for me as well as yours is for you.
Donna Damitte: (Go all quiet and shit. Stank lying ass ain’t flushed a toilet yet) Well, goddammit Ms. Totsy, you never take time off. You’d do me a favor by offering me a little advice. Looks to me you know more about being a dumb ass than you think.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
I love reading your accounts of these people. Thank you again, and for the wonderful painting.
Glad you like these folks. Better to deal with on paper, I tell ya.
Had a little fun with the painting, Glad you like it also.
Ty for sharing!
You’re quite welcome.
You have a way of seeing straight through to the heart of the character, don’t you. I bet your kids don’t get away with much…
My kids think I’m crazy but they’re okay with it.
**. Looks to me you know more about being a dumb ass than you think.**
Love visiting you, Dearest. Xx
And I like visiting you as well.
Hugs…:-)
wow, Tosh interesting article….. luvd it
Wow is about right. I actually had to deal with this every two
weeks…Glad you liked.
hmmm, tuff lady….. next time see if any steem coming out of your ears i can picture you holding a shot gun lolzzzz
It’s not an actual conversation. I just had to deal with frequent
absences and stuff, basically…no shot gun here. She quit in the
middle of a meeting I called…Problem solved…Somewhat…
lolz, it was just my witty humor, you may try kung fu next time
Totsy, most of my direct reports were reliable, no nonsense people. But there were a few who you just couldn’t reach no matter what you did. They always called in sick on a Monday or a Friday. Gotta get the 3 day weekend in, don’t you know? There was just nothing you could say or do to make them understand “responsibility” or “commitment” to your job and your coworkers. I’ve gone to work to finish a proposal with 103 fever. There was nobody else who could do it. Donna sounds like a true heifer to me.
As someone who’s managed people, know that I’m relieved at exiting that
situation. I’m very easy to hang around but there are people who have a
gift to make breathing around them challenging. It was so horrible to be
there, it was like watching a movie gone wrong.
Well, she is a dumb ass and judging by your painting she looks like a dumb ass!
You’re funny, Ariana. She told me from the start that she was a trip.
She didn’t lie either.
Another great painting and vivid word sketch. You never disappoint.
Thank you, Shary. Must be that these folk were in my life for a
reason I couldn’t see at the time.
Love Donna Dammitte (silent e)!
You know what I’m talking about then.
Totsy, you have a gift for sketching, drawing, painting, and coloring a character in words that is every bit as good as it is in paint, watercolor, charcoal, and pencil. I enjoy the characters that live in your world, even if they cause you a little bit of grief. I love how you slap them verbally…
Thanks, Phil.
They are unforgettable, so I’m trying to channel those memories into
positive concepts in my art and writing. I have had some good folk
in my life too. It just seems the ones with character flaws are more
interesting to write about. Believe me, there are more to come.
Friends like that,I can live without.
She was only a co-worker and you can well see what kinda
worker she was.
Funny stuff. You have talent with your pen. Er, is that typewriter? Ooops – my age showing. Seriously if it was not knowing you were author I would guess I was reading Dave Barry or the like. He’s the best along with Garrison Keillor in the humor genre.
Thanks.
I’ll have to research those writers. I have to attribute my reading
Zoe Heller that drove the rawness in my writing. She’s gritty,
with underlying humor Brits are known for.
Awesome writing, was with you every single second. Great finish. People management is not fun for some of us, for sure, but the way you write about it is good clean fun that somehow sets the scales right, lol.
No, it isn’t fun. Glad you enjoyed my little encounter. I guess I’m
trying to turn it into a positive experience? I think so.
Wow, Totsy, can’t believe you had to deal with this phony baloney sick stuff. Sucks. But you capture it so well. Love the painting!
Thanks, Monica.
I did the best I could with what I had, I suppose.
Hang on; you taught YOURSELF how to paint? You’re a hell of a teacher. I’ve always wanted to be able to paint really well but all I can really do is doodle. Your art is such a treat!
Well, my studies were in graphic design; all computer driven.
I had drawing classes but yes, the painting part I had to teach
myself. Thanks for enjoying the work. I really appreciate it.
Yah, well, she flushed that toilet and had the ol’ man drive her straight over to MY office! My dumb ol’ personnel manager hired every last one of her lies! Nice goin’, Totsymae!