Awhile back, I had this little talk on Facebook with this woman about pornography. She was going on to say it was bad, wrong and this that and the other but folks, I didn’t agree with her. Hold on. Slow your roll. Check this out. Some months before that, I read up on a couple of articles that compared romance novels with pornography and it got me to thinking real hard ’cause women folk have a tendency to justify. I have to be fair about this thing ’cause I know good and well there are some fellas who read this here blog who have occasioned watching some naked asses and tits that didn’t belong to the woman they’ve said their I dos to. Be honest. I’m gonna tell you though, depending on the nature of the writing, ain’t no difference between Playboy Magazine and some of these romance novels that’re out here. One has words. The other has pictures or in some cases, videos.
2005 Nude Study. Oil on canvas board. Copyright 2011 Totsymae
Me, myself, the rare moments I do read romance, I like heavy sex scenes and dammit, I want details! I’m a grown ass woman. Don’t play. I ain’t interested in no candles burning, where I got to imagine how the shit went down. Take them damn clothes off, lay down, hang from the chandelier and let me know how that ass was tapped! You feel me?
Now, I do like a good storyline folks. I ain’t all that shallow and I’m gonna go ahead and hip you to a secret I’ve been keeping. (Leaning over so I can put this bug in your ear) I discovered early on in my romance novel reading days, I liked the notion of reading about the nitty gritty parts. Know when it happened? (Leaning closer) Seventh grade, folks. See, I was all sneaky and shit. Went into the attic of this house we were renting and found this little nasty ass novel called High School Swingers. Hell yeah, I remember the title like it was yesterday. Imagine my giddiness at seeing this little pictorial on the cover with folk doing the nasty. I was like a miner who’d come up on a chunk of gold, y’all!
‘Course, you know I couldn’t keep all that nastiness to myself. Uh, uh. I took the little book to school to show my BFF. At the time I chose to show it, a movie was going on in the classroom. Shit, it was prime time to whip my shit out, right? Soon as I get the damn thing out and go to passing it over to my friend, who couldn’t hear shit on account of the movie going, here comes Ms. Damn Shatley. Caught my little ass like a deer in the damn headlights, folks! All I could think was, “Uh oh,” ’cause I didn’t have the vocabulary to mentally articulate then what I have now, or else I’d've been thinking, “Oooooh, shit! Daaaaamn! I done fucked up bad!”
Well, to cut my little story short, I was all nervous ’cause I knew a call was going to the house for me to wind up with an ass-beating but Ms. Shatley had mercy on me, folks, bless her heart. From then on, I read the book at home but never could finish it off ’cause it was getting real gross for my little mind. I mean, animals started coming into the picture and whatnot. Made me wanna throw the hell up but I suppose that served me right. I now know I was reading some hard core erotica but I’ve read some pretty racy romance in my day too. And my young ass wasn’t even close to doing none of the shit in that book but I was curious as all get out on how folk went about doing the nasty. Matter of fact, I was as scared of boys then as I am of men folk now.
Anyhow…shit, I can’t remember the whole point of even telling y’all this mess. Maybe pornography ain’t good for me, after all.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
visiting from 6-word Saturday; interesting six words to read about! I hope your weekend is a nice one!
betty
Yes, what a reflection it is.
And I hope your have a good weekend yourself, Betty.
Luv the post but what is 6 day thing, and you are brilliant artist. The more I read the more I dream…..
It’s a Saturday thing where the blogger posts something that describes him/
herself or something else.
The art was done when I was in grad school, which I pretty much ended
up changing my direction on. Glad you like.
ok thanks, I didnt know about that.
So, uh…what’re you wearing right now?
What are you wearing, Ron?
Enigma cool. I am going to label this genre “Dungeons and Dragons Erotica”. Very erotic and very sexy but mysterious and not pornographic. It is not degrading in that pornographic way either because in these compositions the women are very empowered. “Slow you roll” and “feel me?” – those slang terms are about 20 years apart. Dig? Oooops. That shows my age. What am I wearing? Bit chilly in Miami this morning. Pants but no shirt or shoes. It’s a Key West kinda thing.
Well, I’m closing the slang gap. And dig makes me hear Shaft music.
Umm, I think Ron might wanna know what you’re wearing.
Hey – I’m stopping in! You were on my morning walk visit. Anyhow, glad I avoided that book growing up. I just remember the scrambled stuff me and my friends would try to get out of the cable. Never worked too well – but we were thrilled when we’d get a ‘snippit’ of anything.
Well, looka here. The wind blew you on in right after I got all dolled up.
I coulda done without that literature discovered in the attic myself. Never
had the X-rated channels but yeah, my sister and I tried to see what we
could through the zig-zagging.
LMAO…I just discovered you through SWS and when I have time later today I am coming back to read more of your posts because I have to tell you this one made me laugh SO hard and you are so right on! NOW I can tell you are going to piss off a lot of people here…. but what the hell! it’s the internet…right?
Come on over and check out what goes on at my place : http://brendayoungerman.blogspot.com
Six Word Saturday?
I’d be glad to visit your site and thanks for stopping by. You think folk
are gonna raise the roof over here? I ain’t meaning no harm or nothing.
That was just my little run-in with the situation. I was a kid having a
little fun.
I got a hold of “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” by DH Lawrence when I was in high school. I also read “Peyton Place” and “Tropic of Capicorn” by Henry Miller. By the time I was in my late teens, I graduated to a writer named “Rosemary Rogers” and damn! That woman wrote hot sex scenes in her romances. I like a little porn from time to time too, but porn gets boring since they keep doing the exact same things over and over just close up. Romance novels had a plot (the good ones anyway), and they developed the characters pretty much too. Everybody in those books was just making everyone else tingle. The hard core porn is just not really sexy though. And you always know what’s coming next.
Nah. It’s not a long term thing. I don’t watch it myself but if there is
anything akin to it for me, it would be in a romance novel, more because
I’m a reader, not a watcher. I was really just drawing a comparison and
yes, the storytelling is more important than sex in a work. I will say I’m
not one to read Christian romance. I probably should but hey…
Never have to worry about you holding back, Totsymae! Anything and everything is discussed here on your blog. I have to say I am not a big one for pornography. Sex is love in my eyes, but doesn’t mean it can’t get raunchy too. Just sayin’. The only thing I read as a youngster that contained any kind of sex in it was Judy Blume’s “Forever.” But see, that was about love. Gotta have the love. Your painting is beautiful! I love that boobs are a bit saggy and not falsely perky.
I think women have to be unafraid of having the discussion because in some
cases, it is something their significant other partakes in. And you know, I just
have a lot of curiosity and interest on how people think about different topics.
Believe me, I’m not talking about everything that I could talk about. I just kinda
go on what I feel at the given time.
I read Judy Blume’s work and loved it bit by 9th grade, I’d outgrown her and
was actually getting romance book loans from a junior in my Home Econ.
class. She was an honor student. I wanted to be like her, so that was my
little shenanigan, I guess. Love was cool and all but for a ninth grader, I
didn’t care much about it really.
Glad you like the painting. I painted what a saw from the model. You can’t
imagine how many times the class had to draw a paint her. We actually got
tired of her.
I’m a story gal. Don’t care for porn personally and I think it is due to the lack of storyline. But I don’t think the world should revolve around what I like. I say to each his own. Go Totsy!
Yeah, me too. That book was just something I stumbled on and I did what
any tween would do. I read the thing. My sister just told me she ended up
with the book after wherever I put it and traded reading chapters for
candy. She was a bit of an entrepreneur about it. Ended up with a whole
bag of sweets for the trade, eventually. Smart girl.
“shit, I can’t remember the whole point of . . .”
Hhmm, seems exposure to porn at a tender age may lead to early onset of alzheimer’s
Nah, just a little distracted with the nakedness.
I don’t really find too much wrong with pornography, either. Unless someone’s got a crazy addiction to it or something, avoiding going out and meeting people in favor of sitting in front of the computer jerking off. And I think my favorite line from this whole post is you wanting to know “how that ass was tapped.”
That’s what I say. They’re only pictures and stuff. As long as it
doesn’t consume a person’s life, I don’t see the harm. You’re one
of the rare women to say that. I think some women are a little
jealous of it. In denial. Moderation is the key.
Been hiding for a while. Big hugs. So good to see and read your writing. I come out and read then go away. That shit is funny as always. Love it.
Yeah, you’ve been away a long while. Hope all’s okay. Glad you like
it in these parts still.
Women may not be quite the visual creatures that men may be by nature, but it does not mean they are not sexually charged. A few reads of my wife’s books listed under the genre of Gothic Romance novels, there is a whole lot of sexual fire burning among those heaving breasts, aching loins, and lustful thoughts consuming the heroines of the pages. I’d say women’s minds are quite imaginative and quite active sexually…
Ahem…Thanks for the philosophical side of it…ahem…Dr. Phil.
Yes, the philosophical side of sex… You know Tots, the mind is the ultimate sex organ.
Now, that’s a sexy statement right there…You ain’t half bad, after all. I
don’t care what folk say about you.
Dirty stories are always great fun.
Yes, a little guilty pleasure is healthy balance to the diet.
“Take them damn clothes off, lay down, hang from the chandelier and let me know how that ass was tapped! You feel me?”
Hilarious!
I like your style, young woman!
Thank you.
Hey Totsymae,
I love this post! People love to hide these truths lol but they are typically a part of our erotic journey. I applaud you for breaking it down like this. I had the same compulsion last week, see post om my erotica blog here http://wp.me/p1RohL-3H.
I’ve had this same conversation with some of my friends and I truly think they are fighting against the inevitable. Sex is as old as time as long as no one is exploited or hurt, expressions of sexuality are healthy and necessary. I don’t get the die hard romantics who pretend sexuality is limited to romance yada yada and you are exactly right, when I started reading romantic novels in my teens, I was enticed by the very naughty parts. Harlequin is the printed version of the late night adult porn. Who are they kidding lol? So yes, I do believe it’s good for you, in moderation of course
You express it well. I mean love is always best to accompany sex. That’s a
natural element for most women but when it comes down to it, would
you rather ballroom dance in the bedroom or have a pole? And yes, as
long as exploitation doesn’t play into it and no one is hurt, it seems
perfectly fine as long as both parties agree.
I’m not sure how I feel, well as long as it’s done tastefully then like it, but then it would not be pornography anymore. Love your painting.
No, no bubble gum love kinda sex. We’re leather sliding down a pole
and whatnot.
Glad you like the painting.
*** I like heavy sex scenes and dammit, I want details! I’m a grown ass woman. Don’t play. I ain’t interested in no candles burning, where I got to imagine how the shit went down**
Why don’t ya tell us how ya really feel, Tots?
That’s exsactly why I love ya
)) XX
PS. ” Don’t Play.” I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THAT.
Kim, you’re a hot mess! I know you’d feel me on that.
Love ya, girlfriend.
Totsymae, I will come clean now – in show of sympathy – and declare my hand:
One – my great grand father did the illustrations for “Venus im Pelz” (Venus in Furs) by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. No bull.
Two – some years ago my son, then still in short trousers, sought me, found me, asking ashen faced: “Mama, what is that?” He had stumbled on some website. And no, I do not believe in “parental control” (otherwise you, Totsy, would have never discovered that book in the attic.) It was rather interesting. Not being a gynaecologist I hadn’t seen the female anatomy from that angle before. Hoped fervently it wouldn’t do lasting damage to the apple of my eye’s sexuality (it hasn’t; he is twenty now, and coping very well)
Three – whilst “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” a good introduction to literature, Mary McCarthy’s “The Clique” was somewhat lost on me.
Four – there are things I wish my mother had told me before I learnt them the hard way.
U
Well my, my, Bitch on the Blog, it ain’t rightly your fault you have an
affinity to porn. Seems it’s a part of your DNA. Now, that’s some
special bonding there. I’m slapping you and your ancestors with a
high five on that.
It’s really nice to see issues like pornography clearly: it’s good or it’s evil. I can’t do that. Apparently neither can you. We are the type of people who see what those other people can’t see–nuance, complexities. Well, maybe you’re more on the side of it’s good and that’s that. But you still raise the question at the end…
When I was younger, things were a lot more clear. As I’ve lived and learned, I’ve learned how much I don’t know. One of the things I don’t know about is pornography. I know some of it can be real raunchy and I know I don’t want to look at it, but I don;t want to take away the rights of others to look at it if it’s not hurting anyone. Is it hurting anyone? I don’t know. I can see both sides to that argument.
Now I’m getting confused. Time for some tea…
Hahahahaha, I can just see you now. This is hysterical. Glad Ms Shatley didn’t report you.
I was never good at math or the sciences and wanted to drop them but my chem teacher in high school told he didn’t care what I did as long as I didn’t disrupt his class. So I sat there for a whole year reading pornographic books — had just discovered them. Started out with some trashy magazines that I’d have to read in one night so I could pass on to someone else and get another one. By the end of the year, I’d graduated to Lady Chatterley’s Lover. I’d have my chem text open and the book or mag inside so that if the principal walked into the class, he’d be none the wiser. Thank you, Mr. Rabindran!
What some kids wouldn’t do for that kind of curriculum! Love it!