Pen & Ink/Photoshop Image on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae
His name is Kindness Fred and came to me in an email. Just when I’d given up all hope, my life changed and all I’m seeing are fireworks and now, I’m balleting through the house and shit. You would be too had he snagged your email and laid the following rap on you:
“Hi dear,am miss kindness fred I am attracted to yourprofit. I am very romantic, caring, passionately and lovely. I have a bright future and also very hard working. I believe that you are the man that I will share my dreams, and my future without disappointment. One thing I am promising you is that you will never regret of knowing or having me in your life.so i will like to know more aboutyou and to get along with you soon so write to me directly to my email here;and also i will like you to send me your pictures whenyou will reply me back.so that i will send you my pictures through your email Box you will send to me thank you my dear lovely one.I will be hoping to hearfrom u soon,kindness.”
I know he thinks I’m a man who’s got profits and all but we’ll work that out so he’ll love me for the fly diva I am. In the meantime, my heart’s been doing the proverbial cartwheel in my chest at the prospect of finally meeting my Prince Charming, who’s got the suave gift of love letter writing. Whatever should I do, folks? Cupid’s shot the bow of unrequited love through my unsuspecting heart. Oh me, oh fucking my.
To see more Art Every Day by other artists, well, go back and click the link back there. As always, nice having you folk stop by my little place here.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Ahem. I am a bachelor, divorced. Like to cook and prefer to do my own laundry. Clean and sober. Live 2 miles from Miami Beach and have $68 stashed in the credit union and my car runs pretty good alright. Most of the time.
And you’re a handsome bachelor too, Carl. That you’re an artist means
And the 68 bucks? If times get tough, I’m
you’ll understand the crazy.
gonna have to pack up and head down your way.
i loved reading this
Yes Tots, well I know the first thing I too noticed about you was your profits. I hope you don’t think I’m being too forward and all, but damn, you’ve got some really hot profits there woman!
I hope you’ll be gentle with the suddenly smitten Miss Kindness Fred…
Yeah, like, that’s the obvious part of me. No, I’m not offended at all. You’ve
got me beaming when I think you’ve taken notice of my profits and
gentle is my middle name.
–Tots,
you have sooooooooo much more than profits, girlfriend ! XX
love your drawing above.
Thanks, Kim. So glad you can see past the exterior.
Glad you like the drawing. It was a quickie, for once.
What’s this about Tots and a quickie? Why, just yesterday you refused to make me a sammich because of a quickie… Huh!!!
Okay, okay…how ’bout a hot dog ’til I run to the store for a loaf of bread?
From now on I’m using this as my phrase to mean joy and happiness:
“I’m balleting through the house and shit.”
Be my guest. What better way to express that emotion.
I think you captured his likeness perfectly!
Thanks, Shary. So behind on the NaNo, however. Will get more done
this weekend. You’re coming along very well.
Profits? You got profits? I want some profits!
Better recognize, Michael Ann. Kindness Fred did. LOL!!!
Totsy, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, but I think that is “Miss Kindness Fred” writing you that awesome love letter referencing your lovely profits. I am wondering if Miss Kindness Fred is Nigerian. Could you just find out for me, and if so, please pass my information on to her or him. You know, I love Nigerians. They really make me ballet through the house and shit. It drives my husband crazy and he would prefer that I just loved Chinese. Well, I like Chinese just fine and they are very much more readily available where I come from near San Francisco, but the heart wants what the heart wants and my <3 wants Nigerians.
Yeah, you should go with who’s more accessible, Linda. However, I’m
keeping Kindness Fred. I don’t get offers like this that often. I’ll see if
his cousin, Gentleness Jim, is still on the market though.
I got lost at ” I know he thinks I’m a man who’s got profits ” forget the profits…he thinks you are a man???
He told me in the letter, “I believe that you are the man that I will share
my dreams.” But like I said, I think we can work through the little glitch.
You have some admirers, lucky woman!
I know. What more can a girl ask for?
If you ever saw “Some Like It Hot”, you better understand the “we can work it out” thing. It all can be worked out. Kindness Fred sounds like a good deal to me too.
Never saw the movie. May have to locate it and check it out. Kindness
Freds don’t come around every day. I’ll go with the deal.
This is exciting…ballet, bounce, twirl, spin…you deserve to plie (that’s suppose to have that thing over the “e” that I can’t do) ’til you puke. Kindness Fred sounds nice.
LIke, right. I had to sit down just now, I’m so dizzy in my tutu and all. One
nice person deserves another.
Go for it. Might as well give the dark side a try. May even “profit” you more
Funny, Hansi! I look forward to more profit too. I probably need a
prenup in case it doesn’t work out, being that I have it going on in
that department already.
Ooooh, aren’t you the lucky one!
You ought to give Kindness fred a try, unless Denzel’s been knocking at your window at night and you’ve been keeping it to yourself.
Yes, I am. I’d been feeling down and out lately and bam, there’s this
email. Denzel’s playing hard to get. I can’t fathom his problem. I’ll have
to go with ole Kindness Fred. He sees a bright future for us.
Yeah, he’s definitely a keeper, don’t let that one get away! After 10 year of marriage to my husband, I have yet to hear him say the words “I am attracted to your profit”…I really think it would seal the deal if he would…know what i mean…Although, in my husband’s defence, he doesn’t think I’m a man. Maybe he’d whisper such sweet nothings in my ear if he were uncertain of my gender?
(You’re a nut!)
You can’t imagine my elation. It’s like an upgrade in my emotional
stability. I beg all the pardons on women saying it’s hard to find a
good man. I think my profits have gone up, as a matter of fact.
No wucking-forries TotsyGal – away with ye – off y’ride into the sunset with “Freddie Kindness” – Lord, Oh Lord – a bit ‘o sugar, a touch ‘o sweet talk and you left your brain … where? cheers Angel-face molly
Yep, I’m almost across the virtual threshold, Molly. Couldn’t let this
one get away, him speaking to my profits and all. I left my brain on the
midnight train in Georgia.
Forget about God working in mysterious ways. What the heck kind of email was that?
Hmmm….Totsymae…do you think herman cain wrote this?…You know herman gonna be herman!
You know, I wouldn’t put it past him trying to get to me on the down low.
what a letter