"Stacie" Size: 5x7 Oil Pastels/Photoshop Copyright 2011 Totsymae
This is somebody I used to work with folks and she knows Tessa. She got a job on account of her mother-in-law looking out for her. Nepotism at its worse but it happens every day, don’t it? I won’t get too wordy right here ’cause I want to flesh her out in the interview for you. I’m going about it this way in order to keep it a little interesting and you don’t get bored or nothing. Anyhow, I want y’all to meet Stacie Hammonds.
Totsy: (Rolling my eyes while she pumps a handful of M&Ms into her arteries) I see you ain’t lost that sweet tooth. You sure it ain’t worms eating at you on the inside?
Stacie: (Starts chewing slower and looking off in space) So, you’re not going to be nice about this, are you?
Totsy: (Now feeling guilty and shit. For a minute, anyway) How’s it been going with you? I heard some pretty bad news when I came back to the U.S. Whatchu been into?
Stacie: (Got to looking like her tongue folded up on her and couldn’t roll out to speak right away. She sits up straighter.) I hit Gerald. He was throwing things across the room again and hit Nicholas on the head. (She turns all red and shit. Probably remembering all those times she was told about yelling and being rough with those kids who were classified as having severe special needs.) I told him to stop before and he threw the toy anyway. I know he understands when I tell him no but he does it anyway.
Totsy: Either you ain’t listening worth a damn when folk telling you how to work this here job or you got yourself some shit for brains. Now, which one is it?
Stacie: (She don’t say shit. Just twitch her ass around in the plastic seat and keep on turning red.)
Totsy: (I decide to let up and change the subject). So, how’s the baby and Paul doing?
Stacie: They’re doing fine.
Totsy: Is Paul still interested in the three of us having sex?
Stacie: (She goes to blushing and shit, as if I was interested, that she and her husband would even be my type or be able to afford me.) I think he’s given up on that.
Totsy: Did Paul ever get you another car or is he still leaving his wife broken down on the side of the road and riding all high and mighty in his little truck?
Stacie: (A wide ass grin spread all over her face) He got me a mini van.
Totsy: Why the hell you smiling? A mini van ain’t nothing to be grinning about. What the hell’s wrong with you?
Stacie: It works. (Rolling her neck and shit)
Totsy: Your ass is touched, that’s all.
Stacie: So, are we done here or do you want to keep being a smart mouth? (She pops out of the seat and from the way her pants rise up and gathers between her legs, I know she’s got a wedgey. She cocks her legs open for her pants to fall straight down and digs the wedgey out.) Are we?
Totsy: (I can’t drum up anymore questions with her standing over me that way. After all, I’d pissed her off enough to kick my ass.) No, we’re done. (I start feeling all guilty for being wicked and shit. Damn. I should’ve put more time in with one of them churches I’ve been passing for so many years. I just knew the Lord wasn’t none too happy with me, giving this woman a hard time.) Look Stacie, you take care of yourself and that baby.
Stacie: Yeah. (Her voice is quivering and I hope no tears pour out ’cause I wanna feel better about how bad I was, even though she was wrong for hitting those special kids. I mean, damn. They couldn’t talk or nothing. She was always yelling and couldn’t catch hold of her temper to save herself. Shit.)
Totsy: Why don’t we swing by Mickey D’s for lunch? You want to? I’ll treat. (I know she loves herself some MacDonald’s and I love those French Fries in all that bad ass grease.)
Stacie: That would be nice. Thank you, Totsy.
Totsy: (I just give her a little smile and we head out the door to my car.)
Disclaimer/Prologue: This interview is a figment of my imagination, folks. I have no life. None, whatsoever. Therefore, I make up shit. There are many true elements, in relation to the questions, which were answered in the way I thought Stacie would. Let’s just say, these are questions that would go through my mind to ask but my other self wouldn’t. I don’t think. Sadly, Stacie was released from her job on account of verbally and physically abusing children with special needs. Now, she told me she didn’t do that kinda shit at home with her son (he wasn’t a special needs child but around 2) but it never mixed right in my head how she would be so vastly different with other folk children. You see, the shit was swept under the rug when I was there, which gave her more opportunities to beat on those kids on account of her mother-in-law hookin’ her up with the little job. That’s about some shit, ain’t it, folks? Anyhow, I do feel bad for her ’cause she had some okay ways about her. She was messy as shit but she didn’t have nothing on Tessa.
One other note I want to mention. Carol, over there at Scribble Flowers, is participating in Create Art Every Day too. I believe she’s gonna do some character sketching. Go on over there and hang out to see what her folks are doing. I’ll be over there myself, so I hope to see you there. Sorry I got a little windy. I’ll do better next time. 
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Lovely!
Thank you.
This is completely hilarious. You had me laughing my ass off. Thank you for a really good time. You are a fantastic (fantasy) interviewer, should do it for a living, in addition to being a great artist!
Glad your time was good over here, Amy. This would be a fun job. I
may have to check into it. Go into a little business called The Nitty Gritty.
I like that name.
Yeah, I was reading and thinking, “She made this stuff up!”
That’s the kind of interview I know I’d love to have. Love it!!
I made up the interview but there are very true parts of this. Her
husband did want a threesome with me. She was abusive and fired
from her job for the reasons stated and her husband FINALLY got her
a used mini van after several times of breaking down and not being
able to get to work. Her mother-in-law did help her get the job too
Oh, the stuff is true in there but the interview
itself wasn’t. These are people I know. Ain’t I running in small
circles or what?
Wonderful portrait of a woman I’m glad I don’t know. Stupid is one thing. Evil and Bad are another.
Thanks. Yeah, you aren’t missing anything with this one, that’s for sure.
The stuff you make up instead of your life is just hilarious. You are one wicked (and I mean that in a very good way) woman!
Thanks.
Just having a little fun, Glad you enjoyed it.
Love it when you “make up shit”. Hysterical!
Thanks, Rose.
I agree with the comment above…wonderful sketch…love the use of oil pastel, but glad that I don’t officially know this woman…not someone that would be a joy to be around! LOL!
Glad you had fun reading The Interview. She had some good ways but
otherwise, she definitely had some uncooked noodles in the pot.
This is very good – Totsymae, you can be gainfully employed writing scripts for half-hour TV One-Act plays, titled: “Summer – An interview with ….”; “Autumn – An interview with, etc. writing-up vignettes, 2 actors seated centre stage, one spot flooding the duo and action-take one! cheers catchul8r molly
Thank you for such nice comments, Molly That kinda job sounds cool to
me. Since I’m doing other character sketches this month, maybe I’ll try
my hand at a play or two.
You paint a picture with your words as well as you do with a brush or charcoal. I could feel the tension and picture the woman as clear as can be. There are some seriously flawed characters full of everyday struggle in your imaginary world Tots. Lots of color that’s worn and faded from some hard washing…
Remember, these are real folk.Sometimes, they’d do or say something and
it was like watching a really bad movie. I’d just think, “Now, I ain’t believing
this shit.” What stands out most for me with Stacie are her eyes. She
tended to have a far-away look about her that sometimes bordered one on
the edge.
You made her scary looking Totsy, but the interview was funny and I love, love your declaimer! I bet you do have a life, but you just like making stuff up!
She did turn out to look scary, although that wasn’t the intention.
Good stuff, really great drawing! Yay for AEDM and NaNoWriMo!
Thanks, Melissa. Gonna be a tough month but it’ll be okay, I think.
I usually don’t read this genre. But I enjoyed this. Because it’s real. And your inner conversation with yourself is something we all do despite the topic and kept me reading. You have played it out well with this combo conversation with self and subject simultaneously. Plus talking to myself is usually more meaningful than conversing with your average
Stacie.
Well, I’m glad you read this one, Carl. Yes, when talking to the likes of
Stacie, talking to yourself can be very meaningful and even engaging.
I love when you create these wild women…with smidgens of truth sprinkled in there like shrapnel. Good work, Totsaymae!
Well, I like the way you put that. Thank you.
I love this idea. I’ll have to try interviewing characters to see what they have to say.
Yes, and even try a real person. It’s the easiest way to build a character.
Have fun with it.
Scary someone like that actually exists! Love your portrait, the colors and bold front really brings out her personality.
Yes, it is. Especially so when she didn’t listen. I think the portrait reflects her
personality moreso than the actual person.
Even your “disclaimer” is more creative than some posts I’ve encountered over the years, my own included.
Interesting visuals!
(You captured a feeling of quiet desperation in that face, well that’s what I see)
Thank you. And you’re right in the description of the portrait. I always
sensed she was on the edge and I suppose what’s most memorable
is what I captured. I appreciate your being able to see that.