Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae

I can meet up with the strangest of folks. I tell you right off though, I may not always come off as friendly. I have to check folks out ’cause I’ve come across a few in my little life that I was highly sorry for ever saying hello to. I don’t mean to come off as a bitch but that’s just the way it is sometimes.

I remember this one woman I worked with over in Germany and I tell you folks, when I was introduced to her, my first thought was, “Lord, why did I have to be put back here with her.” I’m telling you folks, that woman had a flat mole on the side of her face the size of a quarter and had the nerve to share with me how long two strands of hair grew from it and that she braided that shit up. I kid you not!!! Naturally, my thought was, ‘Now what woman would ever boast such a thing?’ That goes to show you this woman would say and do just about anything. I mean, damn!!

Turned out, this woman kept a lot of shit going. Just constant. She was going after this woman’s husband as bold as day and yeah, I had some run-ins with her too. I don’t think it would’ve ever happened so much if I hadn’t followed the then husband’s advice on not acting stuck up, as he put it. I wouldn’t say I was haughty but I have to discern what’s a good thing and what’s not. Folks, she wasn’t a good thing for me and a heap of other folk. Especially not that woman whose husband she was swishing around for.

Unfortunately, you can’t pick up on every thing right off, the way I did that woman. Sometimes, it comes in bits and pieces. Last week, I met this other woman. Why I got to meet these crazy bitches, I haven’t the slightest. Well, let me recant that. I do have a soft spot for odd folks that seem to have a decent heart.

This woman I met most recently has a knack for crying about things you wouldn’t imagine. The first week of my acquainting with her, she bawled her eyes out over folk not correcting her on how to say thank you in Chinese. I mean, she cried a good long time. Last week, she got to crying over a notebook she lost. Oh, she was boohooing and I’m all over the place helping her look for it. Let me just say that what she had in the book could be easily done over again ’cause she’d ripped the notes out of it already but she was going on and on. Then, this week, there was a discussion about some music. She found the video of the song of said discussion and the guy she wanted to hear it was engrossed in another conversation. Folks, do you know that heifer was crying about that later? She even said she wasn’t gonna talk to this guy anymore ’cause he wasn’t what he appeared to be. That all of his supposedly shows of concern was acting and blahsay this and that. All on account of him not giving her his full attention to look at a damn YouTube video!

Okay, I’m thinking, well, damn this is some psychotic shit right here. I see her the next day and she tells me she had a meltdown over that music situation, confirming that some meds need to be taken or something. Getting stranger, right? Well, the day after that,  she ain’t speaking to me! For what, I haven’t the slightest, folks. You know I ain’t tried to figure it out either ’cause time’s short and you just have to make life sweet and spit the seeds out.

But I tell you folks, women…I just don’t know ’bout ‘em. I promise you, if I’ve ever had another life, I’m most certain I was a man. A straight up, swaggin’ holding my shit kinda Joe too. I’d have been the very dude to go to the store and hook up with some other honey, dealing with some woman who was on and off like a damn light switch. I’m throwing my hands up, folks. I want my other life back. Boxers with my shit hanging low and all.

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