Sitting in a meeting. The stomach gets to bubbling and you feel like you gotta shit. Looking around the room, everyone looks as if they can sit there ’til Jesus rises again and it certainly feels like that’s how long you’ll be in the meeting.
When somebody cries in front of you and you don’t particularly know what the hell to do. More awkward if you really never cared for that person in the first place.
When a proud parent shows you their uncute kids and pretty much has the family photo album in their purse or wallet for you to see, like all you’ve got to do is look at a bunch of photos of folks you don’t know whom you hope will grow into something like cute in the very near future.
When someone has married into the family and checking you out on the downlow, who may even throw some suggestive moves in your direction.
Dropping food on the floor and looking around to see if anyone’s looking ’cause you know you wanna eat it and probably would under the right circumstances.
Somebody who swears to be a great cook makes something especially for you and you just can’t bear the thought of putting it in your mouth after looking at it but they’re waiting for you to take that first bite.
Lord help, but the love of your life thinks he’s just whipped some good loving on you and want to talk about it when all the while, you just couldn’t wait for it to be over.
You see your parent(s) having sex and mealtime is a much happier occasion than you’ve known it before.
You’ve just finished picking your nose and heaven forbid, somebody’s watching you.
You pass gas in a public place and somebody comes right behind you and gives you a look as if you’ve been stank all of your life.