Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2011. Totsymae
See, the problem’s always been that men folk don’t listen. The first and only example we need of that can be traced back to that garden in Eden. That is, if you believe in the events that took place back then. Personally, I don’t believe we were made to be walking around naked for the rest of our lives. I mean, God didn’t have to put the Tree of Knowledge in that garden, so that we’d know the difference between good and evil. I think He designed it so we can do just what we’re doing. On another personal note, some folk don’t look too good with their clothes on and it would be a sho’ nuff sight to see folk walking around here naked. I know you can feel me on that. Hell, some of you ain’t satisfied with your own bodies, let alone looking at somebody else’s naked ass.
I know, we wouldn’t know the difference between what’s a nice body shape and what wasn’t, if Eve hadn’t gotten Adam to take a bite of that fruit. Though, I find it kinda hard that nobody would wind up figuring out that some of us needed to wrap a sheet around us or something. I mean, can you imagine not knowing shit? Would you even want it that way?
Then, we ended up with the Bible, which different folk wrote and made it so that we should follow certain rules to live a righteous life. And bear with me ‘cause I don’t know much about nothing in relation to all there’s to know about anything but I find it creative to make it so that man pretty much becomes God, regardless of him not being able to follow directions in the first place.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna go with the flow of the Bible and all about man being head of the house (and don’t forget, president), but I’m just deliberating ‘cause if you’ve ever experienced this yourself, it’s kinda hard for a man to stop and ask for directions. Maybe that stems back to him not following God’s instructions in the first place. You ever been lost on the road and tell that man he should’ve turned left when he insisted on going right and you end up in a maze of more lostness?
Back when I was a real young married woman, my husband had this stereo system that was special to him but he decided to pawn it. Folks, it was a damn 8-track and I couldn’t recall when I’d last seen one but quicker than a magician can pull a rabbit from his hat, there it was. I pretty much told him, ain’t nobody gonna want that shit. Now, I’m in the car telling him not to take that thing in the shop, pregnant in hot ass Texas, mind you. He tells me to stay in the car ‘cause he couldn’t work a deal with me in there running my mouth. I sit in the car like a good wife while he lugs that thing in the shop. Two minutes later, he’s lugging it back out. I had to suffer three pawn shop stops of this before he finally got the message that he was trying to pawn off some shit nobody had use for.
I was thinking though, it may not be a bad idea to blindfold folks and sit them all in a room butt ass naked and see how they match up. You know, go back to basics and kinda get men folk to think a little more deeply ‘cause we all know, they could have the body of Santa Claus and want a damn Halle Berry. Like, how the hell they figure is what I ain’t figured out yet. I think that’s a right fine idea for marrying women off who want to be tied up but I’d opt to be a fly on the wall and maybe add a contemporary chapter in the Bible called The Book of Totsy.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Now, can you imagine what would happen if we had women like Hallie walking round naked? Those Santa Claus looking men would get more than lost.
I know. That’s why they would be blindfolded.
I don’t even know what to say to you. This is so funny. You’ve got some good points about men and directions and thinking they’re godly and all. Funny stuff indeed.
tie me up tie me down, me no santa yet babz…. :p
Ooohh, my! Tie you up?!! You’re funny!
lolzzzzzz, glad to see you laughing ..:)
Yeah, I laugh sometimes still. I’m not a total cry baby all the
time.
I love the idea” the book of Totsy”, I’d read it.
Hmmm…:-)
Sometimes the bare naked truth is rather refreshing, and it’s always revealing…
Thanks for making me smile Totsy!
Well, I know you’d appreciate nothing less.
Glad I can bring a smile to your face.
Totsy, first off, I knew right away you were more than just a pretty face. Girl, you hit the nail on the head with this post so much that it almost plum knocked me off my chair. I have a man friend. Let’s call him Nelson, mainly because his name is Nelson. He’s 60 and not a bad looking tall skinny dude who doesn’t care about clothes or hair style and has a nasty ass dirty old Honda car. I go to lunch with this guy at least once a week. He’s an “intellect”. Uh huh. He acts so damn cute to the 25 year old waitresses that it makes me want to crawl under the table. He’s not really bein’ cute, you understand. He’s bein’ stooopid. He does this with every good looking young woman he sees. And he thinks they are all in their late 40′s too. I cannot for the life of me say to him, “Nelson, those pretty young things are not interested in a skinny old egghead who doesn’t have the good sense to iron his clothes or get his hair cut someplace that costs more than $9.00. They also don’t want to ride around in your stank ass car. And they see you more as a grandpa figure than as a boyfriend figure.” But do I say that to him? No, cause if I did, he’d be sure I was lyin’.
Oh, what a character of a friend you have there. I’m sure he
could get any of those women if he fixed up a bit.
You’re hysterical. I see this all the time. Santa Clause men picking at their women who are human stick insects. If it’s OK with you, I will not volunteer to sit naked around a room. Gravity isn’t kind.
I love the idea of blindfolding people in a room and then playing the “matching or dating game.” Of course you’d have to put them in straight jackets, too. Where do you come up with the stuff? Brilliant!
Yes, straight jackets would be a definite must. Lol!
I don’t know, I think I have too much time on my hands.
Its raining pups ‘n cubs in my space, icy spring winds everywhichway and I saunter onto your blog 5:45am – a stunning watercolour sunflower, my favourite – thank you Totsymae!
You nailed it … on this topic you’ve got ‘grist for your blog’ ad infinitum babe! cheers catchul8r molly
Thank you, Molly. Glad to be a ray of sunshine in the dismal
weathering you’re suffering in that part of the world.
You have a wonderful voice for humor. Keep it up … I’m so enjoying your posts.
Thanks. Always good to know the posts continue to be
entertaining.
Totsy Mae, don’t be too hard on men. The GPS system was invented for us, and we still can’t figure it out!
Still can’t figure it out? Oh, no!