I wanted to see what all the fuss was on the TSA folks, so I took a little trip. Well, that ain’t all the reason for the trip ’cause there was no Denzel-like figure to frisk me up. Matter of fact, nothing frisky went on at all and I’m a tad disappointed, folks. All that research didn’t cough up nothing more than me walking a cold floor in my bare feet. Oh, my Mary Kay samples for exfoliating were taken. Folks can want the darnest thing from you, can’t they?
Now this ain’t got nothing to do with nothing but I just had to let you know that I washed my face with some of that Caress soap and it’s got my face feeling so good. And maybe it does have to do with something ’cause to sit on your bottom for sixteen straight hours of being suspended in the air is enough to make me appreciate the joy of soap and water. I never took it so seriously before but I’m feeling real smooth and refreshed. You really don’t have to go out and buy all that fancy and priced up stuff to keep yourself younger, folks. Just go out and buy yourself some Caress soap. I can now say that some companies acutally live up to their commercials.
My concern is my backside. You know, sitting on it for so long and the future consequences of that ain’t good for women folk especially. Always nice to have a little padding back yonder. Sitting on it all those straight hours like I did is like using a flat iron to your hair. I used to be right proud of what was going on back there but I’m about to hold court with that bitch now. Like, just sit the ass in the witness chair and have at it: Where the hell you take off to on the night Totsy went to the comedy show? Ass, where were you when she tried on that dress she thought she was gonna look so fine in and had to put it back on the rack? So, you mean to tell me you just stopped showing up on your own cognizance?
I’ve seen some men folk with asses that make me do a double-take. Oh, I get to hatin’ on them too. What gets me though is big assed men don’t quite get when to stop pulling their pants up. Why the belt line gotta be damn near under their arm pits? What’s up with that? And if you think it’s a pitiful sight to see them from the back, you must’ve missed the front. Ooooh folks, I’m just gonna spare you the details and let you use your imagination on that! Lord. Help. Me!
Sorry, I veered off again and lost my train of thought. Let me catch my bearings here and once I’ve kinda settled in and wrapped my head around this here town, we can keep company like we been doing. I ain’t quite all of myself now being here, so I’ve got some figuring to do. (Hmmm…why those folk on that TV talking so funny?)