Watercolor on paper. Copyright 2011 Totsymae
Folks, it’s a little hard for me to stand on my feet and walk. I’m gonna tell you though, I’m watching my dollars. So good I’m watching my dollars, I damn near filed my feet off on Saturday. I have this idea that I can do just about anything. I really do. My kids, Little Totsy and Mr. Boy, believe I can do just about anything too.
One day, we were walking in the mall and Mr. Boy came across an outdoor bench that could be put in the yard. He told me I should get it for the house, then he got to studying it and said, “You could build that,” which I could. We’d see shit in the store and I’d go, “But I can make that,” and it’s become a family joke ’cause as much as I feel like I can do, I’m pretty much gonna stick to what I know I will do. I’m not boasting. I’m just cheap, is all, which is why I’m in this predicament with my feet.
On Saturday, I go to get some things at the As Seen on TV store. You ever been there? I bought a steamer for my clothes and that pedicure egg. I can’t remember the proper name for it but that’s the shape of this thing my sister turned me onto for a self-hook up of my feet. I guess it would be like exfoliating and you know women, it ain’t hardly right to have all that dead skin caked up on your heels. I worked with this one woman and her feet looked so bad, it was almost unsanitary with all that shit caked up on them, which reminds me on my step-dad’s feet. Oh folks, if you stepped on a toe nail he’s cut off his foot, it was like something clawing at you. He had one helluva file and toe nail clipper. Like some shit built for the animal kingdom. I wouldn’t lie to you, folks.
Well, I was all happy to get this pedicure egg, with the cold weather approaching and all. I went to work on my feet soon as I got settled back at home. On Sunday, I was okay. No big deal but come today, my feet are tender as hell. I look back at my heels and they’re all reddish-pink and shit. I be damn if I ain’t been tipping around here for two days ’cause I’ve just about filed off the back of my feet. And I’ve become such a baby over time, that I have a low tolerance for pain. I hate feeling all delicate. I mean, it doesn’t quite match up with my tough talk. Of all things, I’m sensitive to a little over-exfoliation. But I have to say, this ain’t hardly as bad as the time I thought I had meningitis.
Folks, I was painting the carport ceiling of the house I used to live in. Naturally, I’m looking upward for long periods of time. Next day, I can barely get out of bed, or turn my head. I rush to the doctor to hear my ultimate fate, that I’ve got X amount of days to live and remember, ooohhhh, it was the painting that got me feeling this way. Talk about a wasted co-pay. It really bothers me to act typically womanish, being dramatic and all. Where’s the fun in being average? How are you sizing up out there, ’cause it ain’t sitting too well with me.
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
Ouch, that must hurt!
You’re right: you can do some real damage. They don’t tell you (or at least, if they did, it must have been in the fine print) not to rub too hard. Hope your feet feel better soon. You need to be able to walk!
After a good night’s rest, I’m walking a bit more comfortably. Just my
extreme behavior of overdoing it, I guess.
Not gonna comment on a blog post about using a Ped Egg to exfoliate your feet. A guy could have his man-card revoked for making a comment on such matters! No ma’am, not gonna comment. No way, no how! Not one peep about it…
…
…
Doh!!!
Chicken!
Meningitis!! ha ha! I’ve had “painter’s neck’ too, it KILLS! Oh, and I have the Ped Egg too and I love it! You’re not supposed to file down to the bone! Sheesh!
Oh well, just an excuse to put up your feet and rest!
Yep, the ped egg does work miracles. I know better for the next time.
You’re right, I have been in chill mode.
Hooked up to a ped-egg that files feet? Eeeew! What happened to a warm shower and rub-a-dub-rub with a pumice stone? Well at least you’re still in full ‘n fine feather, Totsymae, cheers catchul8r molly
Will have to look into the pumice stone. Sounds like a smooth job it
would do.
Moderation in all things is the key
Ain’t that the truth! I certainly know not to mess around with the
ped egg again.
Oh ouchie, you have my sympathies. I’m trying to work with a killer neckache today so I know where you’re coming from. I’m just grateful I didn’t file the skin right off my feet too.
My sympathies with you as well. Quite a bugger to have a stiff neck.
I would have gone for for Japanese bath………… and good Turkish massage………:)
Sounds good for the next time but actually, I’m terribly ticklish.
I love working in my garden, but I’ve been known to overdo a time or two. I feel so dumb when I realize that I’ve put myself out of commission for a few days.
Garden work isn’t easy work, as pleasurable as it an be. I hate when I
get carried away too. Feeling dumb is an awkward moment I’ve had with
myself too.
Oh know the peddi- egg! That really hurt my feet too…might as well just buy sandpaper. I used it once! Just so you know the hair remover thing is bullshit too. So tiny it would take a month to do one leg..jeeze..
Sandpaper? Hmmm….I use Nair for the other. Well, at least the
steam iron really worked.
You’ve read my blog! I’m a drama queen! I have one of those little eggs too. I’ve decided to keep my feet in shoes. lol
Oh, yes. I vividly remember when you couldn’t find your dog. Maybe
that’s one of the beauties of being a woman. Drama doesn’t look so
good on men.
My motto: play to my strenghts and know my weaknesses well enough to avoid them like the plague. I’m not a practical or handy person when it comes to much. So I leave lots to the professionals, kind-hearted family and friends, or just do without.
I admire your “can-do” spirit. If I adopted that attitude, I’d be blogging from the Intensive Care Unit!
Yeah. I thought I could pull of the pedicure but this new contraption…well,
I underestimated its power.
I love the pediegg thangy. Sounds like you were a little to zealous and rubbed off too many layers (eww). I probably could do more than I do but I don’t because there is the SO and he needs a purpose, which of course, to be at my beck and call. I like the idea of being a princess…. one can have dreams. I’m with Lorna thought, there are somethings I won’t do. I hate painting.
Zealous, I was. I hate painting too. I was actually assisting and kinda
overextended myself.
—Tots,
well, I can see the “Absolute SHITS” are winning.
“Like some shit built for the animal kingdom” You are so damn Hilareous
)))) xx
PS. I had a pedicure this weekend and it was HEAVEN.
I saw that. Wonder who those folks are.
Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yours. I’m too ticklish for somebody
to handle my feet. Drives me crazy!
Your foot adventure, plus the comments about your step-fathers claws-sorry toenails-made me chuckle. Passing through on the campaign.
Thanks for stopping by. Glad you got a chuckle.