"Wine, Fruit and Violin" Mixed Media on Board Copyright 2011 Totsymae
When I look in the mirror after talking to somebody for five damn hours and later, go look in the mirror to discover I’ve got a damn booger in my nose. Why the hell didn’t they tell me? Do they like looking at booger-nosed folk or just have some underlying hatred of me? That shit ain’t right, not to be letting a sistah know. What you think?
The media swarming around that Palin woman, asking her if she’s gonna run for office like she’s some kinda rock star and something intelligent is gonna come outta her mouth. I don’t know how many times I need to say it folks, I don’t won’t nobody wearing skirts swishing around in that oval office. Don’t make me take off my earrings and put on my sneakers.
The fact that Denzel’s been hugged up with the same ole woman and don’t know I exist. I’m about sick and tired of pining away over him. My time is valuable and so is my damn money. I ain’t spending another dime on adding to the collection of DVDs I got with him in it. You hear that Denny? Better not make my knees go weak and come out looking like you did in Training Day.
Women folk pining over George Clooney. If his chin was just a little longer, he’d look like Jay Leno. I don’t know why nobody’s caught on to that. Not that Jay ain’t cute or nothing but nobody’s pumping him up the way they do George.
Folks hatin’ on Snooki and The Kardashians. No, they’re not hardly all that but if I could get paid to bat my lashes at the camera for $500 bucks an hour, I’d hunt down the paparazzi and strike a pose like I’m the shit too. It’s only a means to an end. They could be doing meaningful shit behind the cameras the public knows nothing about.
That men can scratch their johnson in public but if a woman scratches her tit, she looks worse for doing so.
This role switching of men and women folk. I’m sorry folks, I don’t like the term housedad and seeing grown ass men taking their kids to the park for a play-date with other men and their children. If I worked and my man couldn’t find a job, I’ll be damn if, on my way home, I catch his ass laying on a damn blanket or pushing a stroller alongside some other man. You wanna see a bitch coming to a screeching halt quick, fast and in a hurry, that would be me! Oh folks, stop feminizing men and let them drink their damn beer and watch football. Please.
The media going googoo gaga over Kate Middleton’s sister’s ass, like she’s the one who brought big asses in style. It looks about average to me. Did I miss something anymore spectacular about hers than what’s always been around?
I'm an artist who's writing,mothering, blogging and doing a few other things under the sun. I buy toilet paper 99.9% of every trip I make to the grocery store. I'm a people watcher, so I know you're here but drop me a line anyway.
You, madam, are a total nut! And I love it!
Thanks, Linda. From one nut to another, I like
your blog too.
I’m sorry, but I draw the line at football. My guy knows all the stats but says he doesn’t want to watch the games, bless him.
Yeah, I’m not a big football fan but that versus
pushing a stroller, I’d option for football.
I’m dying laughing over here. I’m sure you’ve heard me?
Where do I begin? I tell people, even strangers, when something’s not right. Like yesterday, I saw this sister, well dressed, looking really fine then when she turned around, I noticed her label was peeking out at the back of her neck. I couldn’t let her go the rest of her day with it out. She thanked me when I told her.
Speaking of Palin. Did you hear about the ruckus over the term Baby Palins? A magazine, can’t remember which, referred to some young women Republicans Baby Palins. They weren’t happy at the description.
Don’t hate on Denzel. I’m glad he’s still with the same woman. One of my girlfriends has a thing for him going way back. He came to Howard years ago and of course, she was there. Walked right up to him so she could get her photo. Then when time came for the photo, his wife appeared. We always laugh about that.
I’ll have to take another look at GC.
As for Snooki and Kardashian. Well, no comment. I don’t watch them.
And I scratch my tits in public if I have to. You know sometimes how you get a real itch? I was walking behind this guy yesterday morning and he started scratching, no digging his ass for a good minute. Like he was trying to find something. I couldn’t believe it!
Speaking of ass, Venus Hottentot was ridiculed for hers back when. It’s not like KM is the only white woman to have a noticeable one.
And role switching? I say let the men step up.
Yeah, I heard somebody laughing. I was wondering who
that was.
See, it takes so little to let somebody know they’ve got a
booger or a fat tag sticking out. It ain’t hard.
I get a little embarrassed when my tit itches in public. I’m
such a lady and all. LOL!
Not hatin’ on Denzel really. I just wish his wife would switch
places with me. FOREVER! And yes, take a real good look
at George and Jay. You’ll see what I’m talking about.
I don’t watch The Kardashians and Snooki either but I know
those chicks are gettin’ paid and that’s reality right there.
Yeah, these guys DO need to step up and stop letting
women run the show ’cause half of them don’t know what
they’re doing.
I didn’t hear about the Baby Palins but I’d really be ready to
take my earrings off then. I know plenty of Venuses in this
day, so I’m still scratching my head over all the hype on
this particular ass.
LOL, I’m still laughing over here.
BTW, I just gave you a Liebster Award. Check it out here http://insidejourneys.com/?p=6783
Thank you!
I’ll try to get it posted today, which means holding off on Bootleg Man.
Hey there sweetheart!! you act to me like you got your sneakers on all the time!!! I’d hate to see you with work boots!!!
It looks to me like you covered politics, Hollywood, the new-man, The Media, The Royals all in one SWOOP , I think you can expect lots of stuff flying your way . This thing with men discovering their femine side has been around for a long time {there is really nothing new under the sun, } , do you think the guys are heading to the parks etc with the kids in strollers to keep their wives happy ? I would personally like for both if us to be in the park together.. and take a brisk 3 k.m. walk if he could keep up to me !
.
LOL!!! I do come off on the angry side, huh.
I told y’all I need
to be sitting on somebody’s circle for group therapy.
I think women complain too much and it’s kinda hard to know
what’ll make them happy. Yeah, no telling what some people will
say but it’s okay, whatever it might be.
Ideally, he should be in the park with you. I see you’ll give a fella
a run for his money.
LOL! You’ve got a good rant going! And good for you. ; )
I’m in your contemp/mainstream group at the campaign. See you around. ; )
Thanks for stopping by. I’ll be seeing you also over the
next several weeks.
You did it again. You got me laughing out loud.
I can’t stand it when people don’t tell me there’s something wrong, either, like something black in my teeth. Why would you let me go and talk to other people looking like that? And don’t hate on G. Clooney. He’s aging so well. Did you see his chin when he was younger? I don’t know if he had a chin reduction, but he’s mighty fine to me now.
Oooh, that is bad, having food stuck in the teeth. I tend to eat
certain foods at home only, like blueberries and spinach.
Yeah, George is aging well. Gotta give him that but he still could
be Jay Leno’s brother. Don’t know of any surgeries.
Holy Lord, girl, you had me at “booger”. And if you were trying to make me feel guilty about not pulling out the crazy like I used to on my blog…::checks box::
Hi, Bethany. Still thinking about that video on your blog. Funny.
Thanks for subscribing. I’ll be checking you out again over the
next few weeks. Looks like it’ll be a cool hangout.
Oh! I see you’ve pulled out the Ranting Totsye-Barbie doll today! Full of sass and attitude. She’s sweet and spicy, and kicking Ken doll’s ass for not having any genitalia pushing around that little stroller. Dang Totsye, you’re a funny gal. That’s what I love about you.
Now excuse me while I go scratch my… er…
I think you like sassy. I’ve got something for you.
Awhile back, I actually did see some guys Upstate, on Dateline
or one of those type shows. That didn’t turn me on no kinda
way. I almost couldn’t look straight on. We’re going in reverse
and maybe the Gloria Steinems out there wouldn’t like it but
oh well.
Now, that scratching is a private matter, Phil. I won’t write what
I was thinking.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you are not a fan of metro-sexual men who carry man-purses then…
You mean, like a fanny-pack? If that’s the case, probably not
the best pick for me. What are men carrying nowadays that
they even need one?
No Tots, even worse than the fanny pack! We’re talking a full sized purse with straps or a clutch, full of skin conditioners, wallet, phone, hair brush, and probably some other grooming accessories that won’t fit into skin tight jeans…
Oh, the Horror!!!
Men who carry man-purse = Lots of baggage
Totsy Mae, If only ‘we’ could be friends…Hahaha.
So, we have a lot of common thoughts, huh. Interesting how
a blog does that. Maybe one day we will meet. You never know.
Totsy Mae, my message was somewhat cryptic. What I meant by ‘we’ was, if only the male and female species could be friends, call a TRUCE…Oh if only ‘we’ could be friends, even though I’m celebrating 44 years of marriage (count them) today!!!
You know, I don’t know why I assumed you to be a newlywed.
I think it was something I read on FB that I obviously
confused myself on. Long time, 44 years. Congrats to you
and Wifey.
Hmmm…I think there will always be a battle of the sexes.
It’s an age-old battle.
Oh my, funny as usual! First of all, you’ve ruined George Clooney for me. Thanks a lot. Second of all, I am still hating on Snooki (I don’t care about the Kardashians). I’d give my left leg if that woman is doing anything besides being a dumb bitch behind the camera. And I have to agree with the housedad thing. I’d be jealous more than anything if I had to go to work and my man got to play hide and seek in the park all day.
Oh, you’re hard on little Snooki. I was just giving her the benefit of the doubt. I hope she does or will go in that direction since she’s got a hefty fan base.
I suppose you’re right. Just thinking about that woman makes me lose a little more faith in society, however. Good news, though. I’ve given you an award! Come check it out! http://www.findcatharsis.com/2011/09/may-i-interest-you-in-some-awesome-sauce.html
1. Clooney is hot….Jay is not
2. Snooki & Kim suck rotten eggs
3. I’d tell you if you had a boog in your nose
4. What’s wrong with a dress in the white house? And I;m not talkin’ about the likes of Marilyn Monroe
5. Why can’t you scratch your tit?
6 You are awesome
7. You are crazy funny
8. I’m going to bed now. Goodnight xxx
Oh, I know you’d tell me about the booger and a few other
things, whether I wanted to hear them or not.
Hope you enjoyed your sleep.
Hi Totsymae, I linked over from the Campaign list, and I love your ‘tude. I disagree, though, re Clooney. Every time I see his face — in a mag or on the screen — I am re-amazed by his gorgeousness. As for the booger in the nose anecdote, my ex-husband and I toyed with including this in our wedding vows (this would be among the things he’d say to me): “And I will always tell you when there’s stuff between your teeth.” We didn’t include it, but he always told me. We got it down to a code.
Thank you, Katie. I’ll be seeing you around as well. Lots of people
on the campaign trail to meet.
Yeah, I knew I’d get some Clooney lovers. He’s got plenty.
Ok, I don’t get why everybody are wooing over Clooney, not that the man isn’t gorgeous, but frankly he is way to gorgeous to be around any woman, so in my mind he should be removed from any circles of women. I’ve counted and in the past 10 years he was with like 100 different women, I can’t you imagine where his #$%^K is being too, no wonder it needs to be scratched
, that’s why I am more of Danzel girl, he is one loyal man and in our society he is a rear breed!
I agree, Ariana. I was going to mention how he’s in and out with
different women ALL the time. That’s not attractive to me at all.
Hahahahaha lolololololo lmaolmaolmao! You are crazy especially that booger comment lmao!! So true though!
I freaking love George Clooney. I certainly hope that now when I look at him Jay Leno doesn’t pop into my mind…!!!
I take issue with the Brad Pitt fascination myself. He is just about average in my eyes.
And as for Pippa Middleton’s ass… she wore a dress that drew attention to her best feature and that’s a very clever trick all ladies should learn!
Fabulous rant, loved it!
Well, I know there are many Clooney lovers out there. I think you will think
of Jay Leno when you see George now. The good thing about that is, at
least Jay’s funny and knows how to hang in there with one woman.
Those qualities go a lot further than looks.
Brad is sexy in a rugged kinda way but sometimes, I’m sorry to say, he
looks a bit sloven. Dirty, even.
Totsymae, I gave up on Denny eons ago after I got over my OCD stage. There were so many dreams about Denny. Lol! This post is too comical, but I sorta had a thing for George too. He gets better with age.
I keep thinking I’m over him but I get a little excited at just the
mention of his name, so what can a girl do?