When I look in the mirror after talking to somebody for five damn hours and later, go look in the mirror to discover I’ve got a damn booger in my nose. Why the hell didn’t they tell me? Do they like looking at booger-nosed folk or just have some underlying hatred of me? That shit ain’t right, not to be letting a sistah know. What you think?
The media swarming around that Palin woman, asking her if she’s gonna run for office like she’s some kinda rock star and something intelligent is gonna come outta her mouth. I don’t know how many times I need to say it folks, I don’t won’t nobody wearing skirts swishing around in that oval office. Don’t make me take off my earrings and put on my sneakers.
The fact that Denzel’s been hugged up with the same ole woman and don’t know I exist. I’m about sick and tired of pining away over him. My time is valuable and so is my damn money. I ain’t spending another dime on adding to the collection of DVDs I got with him in it. You hear that Denny? Better not make my knees go weak and come out looking like you did in Training Day.
Women folk pining over George Clooney. If his chin was just a little longer, he’d look like Jay Leno. I don’t know why nobody’s caught on to that. Not that Jay ain’t cute or nothing but nobody’s pumping him up the way they do George.
Folks hatin’ on Snooki and The Kardashians. No, they’re not hardly all that but if I could get paid to bat my lashes at the camera for $500 bucks an hour, I’d hunt down the paparazzi and strike a pose like I’m the shit too. It’s only a means to an end. They could be doing meaningful shit behind the cameras the public knows nothing about.
That men can scratch their johnson in public but if a woman scratches her tit, she looks worse for doing so.
This role switching of men and women folk. I’m sorry folks, I don’t like the term housedad and seeing grown ass men taking their kids to the park for a play-date with other men and their children. If I worked and my man couldn’t find a job, I’ll be damn if, on my way home, I catch his ass laying on a damn blanket or pushing a stroller alongside some other man. You wanna see a bitch coming to a screeching halt quick, fast and in a hurry, that would be me! Oh folks, stop feminizing men and let them drink their damn beer and watch football. Please.
The media going googoo gaga over Kate Middleton’s sister’s ass, like she’s the one who brought big asses in style. It looks about average to me. Did I miss something anymore spectacular about hers than what’s always been around?